Sisters/brothers who drop their letters

SororChic6 · #1 01-18-2007, 02:43 PM

I was just wondering what you do when a sister/brother decides to disassociate her/himself and drop his/her letters. If you saw him/her walking around campus wearing the letters, would you rip them off? We have had girls who after they became sisters decided to drop their letters because of petty fights or such. We want to ask them for their letters back but since they left on such bad grounds, it's not really possible. Those people have however been erased from our history.

33girl · #2 01-18-2007, 03:34 PM

Some pertinent threads:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=81275

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=69454

There are probably more, but I'm too lazy to search.

ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl · #3 01-18-2007, 11:43 PM

Usually around here if that happens to a sorority girl because of a disagreement (like not financial reasons) they were upset enough that they don't even want to wear their letters anymore.

adpiucf · #4 01-19-2007, 11:10 AM

I have never had this experience. Someone who leaves voluntarily typically no longer wants to be associated with the GLO, or she is ashamed she had to drop so she doesn't wear the letters. Similarly, those who are terminated are typically not interested in wearing letters. If I did run into this situation, I don't think it would be appropriate to make a scene in public. I would note what I saw, tell the officers responsible-- possibly the VP of Membership, and let them handle it.

Kevin · #5 01-19-2007, 12:27 PM

We had this problem. We had to drop a member of our colony for fighting and refusing to get over whatever was pissing him off. He thought he was "in the right" about whatever the subject matter of the fight was. He felt like we (the leadership) made the wrong choice, he was righteous, etc.

He continued to wear his shirts around campus (like an idiot) and even his candidate pin (colony members only get to wear candidate/pledge pins). It was ridiculous. The decision was made to simply have no contact with the guy. Dealing with him would have only led to a physical confrontation, probably criminal charges -- things colonies are smart to avoid.

So my advice? Just ignore it. If someone asks you, feel free to tell them that person has no affiliation with your organization and you have no idea why they're wearing your letters. Leave it at that. Doing something which could lead to a physical confrontation just isn't worth it.

33girl · #6 01-19-2007, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

So my advice? Just ignore it. If someone asks you, feel free to tell them that person has no affiliation with your organization and you have no idea why they're wearing your letters. Leave it at that. Doing something which could lead to a physical confrontation just isn't worth it.

I understand where you're coming from (especially since this dude had a short fuse), but the problem is a lot of people DON'T ask. They just assume if the person's wearing paraphernalia, they're a member - and that can be disastrous to your chapter's reputation and ability to attract members.

This is just a tangent, but I wonder what would have happened if this guy would have started a fight or damaged property while wearing letters and would have said he was still a member? Do you think the fraternity would have been held liable at all? I mean, we have to put up with this ridiculous "if it looks like a duck, it's a duck" garbage as far as events and housing are concerned - why should this be any different?

Tom Earp · #7 01-19-2007, 03:39 PM

I am sure on any campus, it won't take long for the word to get out that they are no longer a member and it should die down and out.

If it were me, I would be embarrased to be wearing letters of an organization that I was not a member of any longer.

Kevin · #8 01-19-2007, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I understand where you're coming from (especially since this dude had a short fuse), but the problem is a lot of people DON'T ask. They just assume if the person's wearing paraphernalia, they're a member - and that can be disastrous to your chapter's reputation and ability to attract members.

This is just a tangent, but I wonder what would have happened if this guy would have started a fight or damaged property while wearing letters and would have said he was still a member? Do you think the fraternity would have been held liable at all? I mean, we have to put up with this ridiculous "if it looks like a duck, it's a duck" garbage as far as events and housing are concerned - why should this be any different?

In his case, we thought he'd stay out of trouble for the most part. The guy was on probation and weekend stays in jail. He had set off an explosive in his neighborhood (an explosive he had illegally removed from a military installation). The guy was nuts. A confrontation of any sort would have just set him off. We could have kicked his ass, but he would have burned down our chapter house. It was that bad.

As it turned out, we ignored him, he ignored us and had his happy fantasy thing where he won by still getting to wear a pledge pin.. it was all good.

amanda6035 · #9 01-19-2007, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

As it turned out, we ignored him, he ignored us and had his happy fantasy thing where he won by still getting to wear a pledge pin.. it was all good.

What a loser.

We had a girl we had to kick out, and for a few weeks afterwards, we saw her wearing letters on campus, and there was nothing we really could do about it without causing a scene. EVentually, words spread through all the greek organizations that she wasn't one of us anymore, and I think she finally realized how ridiculous she looked. I mean, why wear letters you arent proud of? Why would you want to out of simple defiance? You just look like a moron if you do. Wouldnt it suck if someone came up to you while you were wearing letters and said "So I heard you aren't an XYZ anymore." How the heck would you respond to that? HAH.

EternalFriends · #10 01-21-2007, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I wonder what would have happened if this guy would have started a fight or damaged property while wearing letters and would have said he was still a member? Do you think the fraternity would have been held liable at all? I mean, we have to put up with this ridiculous "if it looks like a duck, it's a duck" garbage as far as events and housing are concerned - why should this be any different?

even despite the bad attitudes we ususally get from law enforcement, u could easily explain the situation, and that he isnt really a member and have the national office confirm it for u. theres no reason the org should be held responsible for something a non-member who happend to be wearing letters was doing

GreekHoodies · #11 01-21-2007, 12:30 PM

I tend to agree with everybody on here...usually when a person deactivates it's because they don't want to be affiliated anymore. If somebody is forced out, and they still wear the letters then it would seem like they have some issues. Why they want to support a group who rejected them??

viv1967 · #12 01-21-2007, 05:26 PM

Can't you ask them to give back all items with letters? Sadly, I have had to blackball a member for "severe conduct unbecoming a member" a couple years ago, and we had our advisor, an alumna and the president go back to with the woman in question to her room, and remove all letter items.
We had a member decide to leave last fall, and she gave everything back of her own accord, since she obviously was not going to wear it anymore.
It's in our constitution that you have to give everything back, and are not allowed to wear anything with letters after removal.

amanda6035 · #13 01-22-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by viv1967

Can't you ask them to give back all items with letters? Sadly, I have had to blackball a member for "severe conduct unbecoming a member" a couple years ago, and we had our advisor, an alumna and the president go back to with the woman in question to her room, and remove all letter items.
We had a member decide to leave last fall, and she gave everything back of her own accord, since she obviously was not going to wear it anymore.
It's in our constitution that you have to give everything back, and are not allowed to wear anything with letters after removal.

It's in our constitution too, that you have to give everything back...but that doesnt stop some girls from refusing to return their stuff out of spite....

ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl · #14 01-22-2007, 03:45 PM

I wouldn't give someone my jewelry...they'd have to buy it from me, haha. That stuff is expensive. But I wouldn't understand keeping t-shirts, jerseys, or stuff like that...why would you WANT to wear it? Why not just give it to someone you like? I mean even if you're kicked out there would have to be at least one person in the chapter you weren't mad at...

MaryAmanda · #15 01-23-2007, 12:22 AM

We've had issues with this. Our chapter offers to reimburse people for their stuff (which is pretty much just t-shirts). In most cases of disassociation for us, the clothes haven't really been worn much if at all, and it's a way to make sure that people aren't wearing letters who shouldn't be. But for us, usually the problem is getting in contact with the person, which is usually why the whole process begins in the first place. First they stop coming to chapter, then they don't answer emails, then they ignore phone calls, ignore disassociation notices...so just getting to them to get the stuff back can be a hassle.