Do Men Understand Women?

[DoggyStyle82]

Ladies, do any of these apply to you?


-If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.

-Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

-If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

-Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

-Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
find the perfect present yet again!

-If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

-Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what
we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
navel lint, the shotgun formation, or power tools.

-Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

-Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it
that way.

-When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

-You have enough clothes.

-You have too many shoes.

-Crying is blackmail.

-Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: subtle hints don't
work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say
it!

-No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on
the calendar.

-Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss
sometimes.

-Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good
at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

-Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

-Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

-A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

-Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

-Check your oil.

-It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

-Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and void after 7 days.

-If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

-Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

-You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but
not both.

-Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

-ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

-If it itches, it will be scratched.

-If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

-What the f*ck is a doily?

[SoRHOrEffervescent SGRho]

Simply off the chain.....ROTFLMAO.

I guess you answered all the questions i EVER wanted to know, and then some!

SGRHO.......EXQUISITE FROM HEAD TO TOE!

[kiml122]

Oh Doggy,

Stop it because you are killing me!!

------------------
Peace
KL

[CONTENTASCANBE]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
[B]Ladies, do any of these apply to you?

-Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

I am SEXY with short hair!!!! It makes me look grown since everyone says that I do not look like I am 21. At this moment I wish I had my Short Sexy hairstyle.

[LadyNRed]

Aight Bruh,

Typically speaking , you know as well as I do there's not a female on earth that will adhere to these statements, although we try. It all goes back to the ripe ole' cliche' "Can't live with them and can't live without them.....nuff said!

N'Quisitive
6-OE-99

[Sexy Mocha]

I posted this in our forum a while back, just thought I'd bring it up in here:

1)Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

2)Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

3)Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

4)Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

4)Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

5)Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

6)Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility

6)Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

7)Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

8"Oh, nothing" has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
9)All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it.

7)Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

8)Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

[112Soul]

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
I posted this in our forum a while back, just thought I'd bring it up in here:

1)Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
<and sometimes anything will do>

2)Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

3)Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
<see, that ain't right. we don't do that to ya'll. well, now that I know this, I will just assume that may way is the right way (as it usually is)>

4)Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
<men love silence sometimes cause we are busy dreaming about important stuff, like (wait this isn't the rated R forum)>

4)Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
<so women DO like horror movies! that means we can watch Jason flicks all night long (well, maybe not all night)>

5)Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
<i will be watching, thanks for the tip>

6)Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility
<women are wrong 51.9% of the time. the other 49.9% they need to asks us to reaffirm they are wrong>

6)Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
<men do not give honest answers to the question 'How do I look?'>

7)Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
<why, if I'm not insecure about your weight, butt or breast size, you shouldn't be either
>

8"Oh, nothing" has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

9)All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it.
<see number 7>

7)Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
<not looking to see if the seat is up is like not looking where you are going. if you fall into the water it's your fault just like if you walk into something it's your fault>

8)Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
<and men can fake orgasm just like women can fake foreplay>

<these frustrations can be part of the reason why I am still single today >

<112>

[Sexy Mocha]

112, I like your response to #7

[the411]

Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
-Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Hey, fellas-- my hair is short and lovely-- see for yourself:
http://lajune.net/

And I am STILL and ALWAYS will be simply GORGEOUS, SEXY, and BEAUTIFUL! If you don't like it GET TA STEPPIN'!

And I'm out!



------------------
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Pi Kappa, SP97
#3 of QUINTESSENCE

[112Soul]

okay, the short hair is working for you... i personally value PERSONALITY & SPIRITUALITY first though. however, I agree with doggystyle because some women don't look good with short hair...(i'll leave on that thought ;-))

112

[the411]

I hate these "Men are from Venus; Women are from Mars" type of statements because they are so stereotypical! To answer your question, Doggy, NONE of these apply to Miss Lajune!

HAIR...
Some men don't look good bald or with braids, or with locs, or with twists, or with fros, yet I respect their right to self-expression. That long hair thing is SOOOO out of date! What's next-- women can't wear pants? women can't vote? women can't go to college? It is quite cocky/arrogant/egotistical and plain ol' DUMB of any man to think that a STRONG BLACK woman will style her hair to meet HIS tastes. I do my hair a certain way (short) because it compliments the features I like best about me--namely my eyes and my smile. I also like short hair because, for me, it's much easier and less expensive to manage. Some brothers always trip about women wanting them to pay for them to get their hair done, yet they insist that their woman have a complicated do. As far as us cutting our hair when we're married... if you get upset over that, then CLEARLY you married me for superficial reasons. Aren't I allowed to change my look FOR ME from time to time? I mean, I haven't changed, just my "package"? Man must ask himself who he really married--Me or the package God wrapped me in?

BODY IMAGE...
I personally don't give 2 sh*%s and a rat's a$$ what people think of me--only what I think of myself, by MY standards (not by Victoria's Secret's standards). It amazes me how some men SAY they want a strong, confident sista, and yet they want us to look a certain way because it's what THEY like. How can I be secure and confident in myself if you're insisting that I become someone other than myself in order to please you? Why don't ya just go find an insecure woman who will try anything to meet YOUR approval or slit her wrists if she doesn't. I diet and exercise, but that's because I want to see my body a certain way for ME; I want to wear certain things for ME. Our society has so many double standards when it comes to body image. Look on TV and the silver screen-- you ALWAYS see a deadbeat, 'toe-down or fat man with a gorgeous woman, but rarely-to-never see it the other way around. Get a grip fellas! The reason some of you can't find a GOOD woman is because you're more concerned with the way she looks than with the way she is. Many of you would rather connect physically/sexually than mentally/spiritually. That's why you subconsciously gravitate towards the chickenheads and gold-diggers, even though you SAY you want a strong, confident, educated, independent woman like me. How 'bout the beer bellies some of you fellas tend to put on after the Honeymoon? Hell, at least WE can blame our weight gain on post-pregnancy! What's YOUR excuse--MGD? Heinekin? Killians? (Coupled with those sports you watch and the yardwork you never do, I'm sure!). But we still love and accept YOU, don't we?

SPORTS...
That's ANOTHER thing-- some of us love sports, too! Why don't you stop nibbling on my ear and kissing my neck when I'm watching MY team play? Maybe you're just pissed 'cause YOUR team didn't make the playoffs! And, why is it so intimidating to some men when we know just as much as (if not more than) YOU do about the game?

SHOPPING...
Yes, I like to shop, but personally, I don't even want you with me at all--you're a nuisance, an aggravation. I don't need or want your opinion on anything I buy because I'm spending my own money, so why should I care what YOU think? Besides, maybe I want to get my flirt on at the mall 'cause you haven't been paying any attention to me at home. And why ya trippin' some of you guys shop more than we do! I have YET to go to the mall without seeing numerous men shopping (and not just for sports gear) like it's Christmas every day. Makes a sista wonder... Nah-- I won't go there.

SEX...
If your lady always has a headache when you're wanting to "get busy", then maybe-- just maybe-- you haven't given her a good enough reason to want to get busy with you-- ever thought about that? Maybe I say I have a headache to keep from hurting your feelings by saying "I am not aroused by you" or "I don't feel like FAKING an orgasm tonight." And as for what we want-- we want you to do the SAME thing for us under the sheets that YOU want us to do for you. What on earth makes you think we'd rather give than receive?!?!?! Get a clue! AND, one more thing-- if it itches, see a doctor, and don't even think of touching me again!


I've done my venting for the day. And I'm out!

the411

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Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Pi Kappa, SP97
#3 of QUINTESSENCE



[This message has been edited by the411 (edited May 01, 2001).]

[kiml122]

Originally posted by the411:
HAIR...What's next-- women can't wear pants? women can't vote? women can't go to college?

Hey 411 I really was thinking of copying your whole post, but I think that sums it up quite well. Go head on my sista



------------------
Holla - 2001
KL

[the411]

I think we'd all be better off in the relationship category if we STOP going into them with unrealistic expectations and negative preconceived notions and stereotypes, especially those based on other folks' experiences and not our own.

Also, we have to have ourselves in order before we can be a good/strong half of a whole. If I'm insecure, needy, lacking confidence, etc., then I am BOUND to infect my relationship with problems, UNLESS I take some time to/for/by myself to get myself together. Too often we turn to relationships as a means of therapy, healing, etc. We expect that our mate can make things better, or we think that, by being in a relationship with a certain person, our individual issues will somehow disappear or work themselves out. Relationships aren't cures for or solutions to our own individual problems or shortcomings. Relationships are, plain and simple, the answers to compatibility, trust, friendship, and LOVE.

Y'all feel me?

------------------
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Pi Kappa, SP97
#3 of QUINTESSENCE

[dog dog bang bang]

I think we understand each other but in such a competetion to be better than one another. One thing I've notice is, if you give everything a chance then things can work. Women are like cats and want to be caressed, flattered, paid attention to, etc... Men know this, but we want the same thing instead of the beat down. It just takes understanding between the two. I want a diamond ring, a fantastic mink coat, roses---
what's up? Men can enjoy everything women enjoy and so could women with men. I go shopping with my girl and pick out great gear fo rher to wear and when she wears it everyone be trippin' when she say my man picks out my outfits but she can dress too. It's hard understanding any party you just got to do it.

[DoggyStyle82]

Ohhhh, I did not know that it would get this deep. I posted that to be humorous. Of course there are some truths in all of them, but none of them are hard and fast or true across all relationships.

HAIR: preferably, I like a womans hair to be the way it was when I fell in love with her. Drastic changes shake things up too much. If you are attractive with short hair great, but if it is long when I meet you, don't cut it.

BODY: women make more out of this than men. If you gain a few pounds, we don't care (as long as its evenly distributed and not in the gut). If we love you, we love you, extra weight and all. Just stop asking us if you look fat, because half the time we don't notice anyway.

The Strong Black Woman: she, we love, especially at the appropriate moments. Sometimes though, the SBW manifests itself in ways that creates un-necessary battles between the man and his woman. This is because the relationship dynamic continues to shift.

Men are not from Mars, nor are Women from Venus, however, women menstruate and men ejaculate and that makes a heckuva difference in relationship philosophy.