need advice on some trouble!!!

amom · #1 08-02-2006, 12:06 AM

I need some help answering a question from someone who can give me advice. My daughter is going to be going through RUSH soon at a fairly large school and is really excited to meet new girls and hopefully get in a house that she will develop lifetime connections with. Here is the question... ever since she was a little girl she wanted to be in her cousin's house ABC. Last year she met a girl who is a legacy to this house and they became friends. The friendship ended when the "friend" did some canoodling with my daughter's boyfriend of some time. She lost not one but both relationships. Her old "friend's" sister is an active at the house currently. Should she totally write off that house or hold out hope that the house is still for her? I told her to just go with the flow and not to make any assumptions about the house and see how things go. She is not hoping for just that house offering her a bid but in finding a place she feels comfortable with. Any advice?

sdbeta1 · #2 08-02-2006, 12:18 AM

The house is probably still for her, but she is going to need to get over what happened in the past eventhough some ladies in ABC might end up hearing about it. What year is your daughter, and where does the canoodling friend go to school?

AOIIalum · #3 08-02-2006, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amom

I told her to just go with the flow and not to make any assumptions about the house and see how things go. She is not hoping for just that house offering her a bid but in finding a place she feels comfortable with. Any advice?

I think you've given the best advice possible in the situation.

amom · #4 08-02-2006, 12:33 AM

The canoodling friend is in the same class and rushing at the same school. Her sister is also an active. Do you think it will be okay? My daughter just wants the friend to grow up and get over it!

sdbeta1 · #5 08-02-2006, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amom

The canoodling friend is in the same class and rushing at the same school. Her sister is also an active. Do you think it will be okay? My daughter just wants the friend to grow up and get over it!

She'd probably be great in the house, but would need to settle things with the other girl so it wouldn't be as bad.

AOIIalum · #6 08-02-2006, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amom

The canoodling friend is in the same class and rushing at the same school. Her sister is also an active. Do you think it will be okay? My daughter just wants the friend to grow up and get over it!

Honestly, I don't think that there's anyway to say it would or wouldn't be okay. It might be, but it could be a nightmare because girls just can be that way. I can remember being a 16-18 year old and girls were catty. It doesn't mean it'll be that way for your daughter, but it's something to be aware of.

OleMissGlitter · #7 08-02-2006, 10:12 AM

I would tell her not to get her heart set on one sorority. She needs to stay open-minded and go through and meet as many girls as possible. In this situation one never knows....

amom · #8 08-02-2006, 03:29 PM

Thank you for some great advice. I just want her to go through rush with her eyes open to all possibilities. This situation has actually helped her to be a little more open minded in regards to being open to the Greek system and not just one house, which to me is the way most PNMs should go through! Thanks for reinforcing what I already knew in my heart!

kathykd2005 · #9 08-02-2006, 03:37 PM

You are definitely giving her wonderful advice. I actually knew one of my sisters from high school and to make a long story short, she didn't like me because she thought I wanted to date her boyfriend. A lot of times in college, people change, or realize things weren't the way they seemed when people were younger. One thing she has to remember, though, is: would she want this type of girl as her sorority sister? I would recommend she make a list of all the things she would like in a sorority and or group of friends. If they don't fit the mold, she might want to look into another house.

Stef the Pef · #10 08-02-2006, 11:39 PM

If the other girl is rushing at the same time, what's to say that she won't go into another house? Rush week is unpredictable sometimes, and girls shouldn't go in with a negative view of a whole house just because of one person (especially if that person is only a legacy going through rush with her)!

What happened doesn't sound like your daughter's fault and she shouldn't worry about it. If she's going through recruitment, she's going to meet all kinds of wonderful new people, both in her recruitment groups and at the various houses. Concentrate on having a blast for the whole week and keep an open mind. It sounds like you've given her great advice!

jadis96 · #11 08-03-2006, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stef the Pef

What happened doesn't sound like your daughter's fault and she shouldn't worry about it. If she's going through recruitment, she's going to meet all kinds of wonderful new people, both in her recruitment groups and at the various houses. Concentrate on having a blast for the whole week and keep an open mind. It sounds like you've given her great advice!

Great advice!