I need help...

[xi_pinkrose]

Here is some back story... I live across the street from my chapter. I graduated in December. Chapter was installed the end of last spring. Since I have graduated it seems that I have fallen off the face of the earth. I have received maybe three e-mails letting me know what is going on. And individuals in the chapter don't make an effort to inform me either.

I was wondering either how does alumni stay involved or how do you let go?

I would love to help out and use my resources to better the chapter.

Do other chapters keep their alumni informed about philantropy and initiation or any other ceremonies, bigs and littles, recruitment? Am I wrong to expect they keep me informed?

[AlphaFrog]

Sorry to crash - I'm an ASA but here's how I feel:

You're not an active anymore. It's probably extremely weird, and you feel like nothing (should have) changed except you no longer attend classes - but your chapter recognises that you're an alum now, with a different role.

If you want to stay involved with your chapter, become an advisor, if possible. But before you do that, expecting to hop right back in and become active in your chapter again - think of how you felt about your advisors when you were an undergrad. Also, as an advisor, you can't act like just another sister, because you have a responsibility to your chapter not to.

If you've thought that over, and that doesn't appeal to you, because you're not comfortable being "the bad guy" for girls who just one semester ago were your best friends (or if your sorority has a waiting period - for that reason- before an alum can become an advisor) you can look for an Alumnae Chapter.

Once again - as much as you might not like it - you are not an active anymore. You can't act like an active, and you can't expect your chapter to treat you like an active. It's time to move on from that part of you life. Good luck finding a way to continue your lifelong sisterhood!

[flirt5721]

My chapter has an alum group through yahoo groups. Our alumni relations person is in charge of sending emails to them.

[xi_pinkrose]

I don't have a problem with not being involved. I have a problem that they allow members to drop out because they can't pay dues. We received out charter less than a year ago and we have lost around 7 members who have signed it.

It is a shame to see that they are turning into exactly what the founders didn't want. They are conforming to the rest of the greek community and their bad example.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by xi_pinkrose
I don't have a problem with not being involved.

I thought your question was about being involved Did I missread your original post??

[xi_pinkrose]

You probably did not read the post wrong...I just see my old chapter changing for the worst. They have a problem asking others for help. Either other chapters or individuals. They think they are the only ones doing what they are doing meanwhile people/students have been doing this for years.

We went to another sorority's philantropy event and took notes on what worked and didn't work and they are doing everything we said we would never do.

When I graduated I felt confident that they would take over no problems. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like it is only a matter of time before it fizzles out.

[AlphaFrog]

I see the connection now between your orginal post and your second question.

The only thing I can offer is that while you were there, your chapter did what it needed to do with the members it had. Now that there have been some graduates and different new members, the dynamic of the chapter is changing, and they might have decided, that with the group of girls they have now, what they were doing before was not working for them, and they needed to adjust to aaccomidate the people who are in the soroity NOW. There is a reason that a person could graduate from a chapter in 1998 and have their chapter 30 over total, and then come back 4 years later and have that chapter struggling. When that happens, it's usually because the chapter didn't make the needed changes to adapt to what was going on. It could be that when the chapter was 30 over total, they didn't need to worry at all about recruitment, and so they let it slide, and by the time the chapter was so small that they were desperate, it was too late to jump into recruitment hard core. (Just an example of a problem - without knowing spesifics on your chapter)

You mentioned something about girls dropping because they couldn't afford it, and you didn't want that. It's possible that the girls there now decided it would take X amount of dollars to run the chapter with the number of people it had, and could not afford to let people not pay dues. (And even if it could afford to let a few not pay, I'm sure they recoginze that a]it's not fair to the girls who do pay and b] who gets to decided who has to pay and who doesn't? There's hardly a fair way of doing that)

I'm not sure what else to tell you, except you can always leave a nice card in their mailbox, letting them know you're there for them if they need help.

[xi_pinkrose]

thanks

[AXiDTrish]

Ahhhh....the torment of a Colony member!!! Chin up, hon!

First, your chapter is NEW and alumnae relations may not be at the top of their priority list, so my advice is not to get frustrated or worried, but reach out. It will take a little extra effort initially, yes, but the truth is a good alumna always gives that extra push. That makes you valuable to your Chapter and to the Fraternity as a whole. My suggestion is to contact the Chapter Advisor or President (I'd go the advisor route first, personally) and ask how you can assist the Chapter from an alumnae level. You interaction will naturally change since you are no longer a collegiate, but that doesn't mean you don't love it any less and as a Colony member, you probably love it more than anyone who will walk through the Chapter doors in the many years to come.

And to address your other statement.....new Chapter naturally lose some of the original members....some don't get it, some can't commit, some can't "conform," and some don't look at the financial responsibilities in the long term. A chapter will lose many women through the years this way unless the MVP/NMOC/FVP fully educate and you'll still get a flaky chick along the way anyway. I find I have little patience for those who don't take their membership serious. As a Colony and now Chapter advisor, I have been told many, many times that the true test of a Chapter is after all the Colony members have graduated/left, etc and the new sisters they recruited take over and build the Chapter. You, as a Colony member, were given a special gift....now as an alumnae you need to trust your sisters that they will lead and grow your Chapter in the upcoming years....so, be patient and always supportive, even when you question their decisions. They need to learn to grow on their own....and they will do so and succeed.

[AXiDTrish]

Oh, one last thing.....remember this is a sorority!! Even though we all say "our Chapter always said it would never be this, this and that"....it will. It's what we must do to survive. You have to play the game to win....that's not saying you don't make variations to make your group stand apart (you don't want to be too far out otherwise you won't be as desireable in some situations), but you have to "conform" to an extent to make it successfully in the Greek Community. Allow your Chapter to figure out what works and what doesn't, in the end they will be successful and you will be proud of them.

[amanda6035]

Originally posted by AXiDTrish
Ahhhh....the torment of a Colony member!!!

Trish - I love you....

xi_pinkrose....What she said is right - about how alumnae relations is probably not at the top of the list. I was named alumnae relations for my chapter in December, but the problem is we have a whole 2 chapter alumnae (one really DID drop off the face of the earth - we cant get in touch with her for anything) and the other one lives with one of our active members, so she's always in the loop. I honestly havent been given the opportunity to DO much with alumnae relations yet - because the president is the one who reaches out and asks for support. However - when that support comes in, I have to fight the secretary to be the one to write the thank you cards. I felt like that was my first "real" opportunity to do something with the alumnae relations office, and I WANTED it. Since, as I said, we only have 2 alumnae from THIS chapter, I want to do everything I can to keep the alumnae who support us from other chapters involved.

I'm also Historian (as well as FVP, NMOC and Webmaster - whew!), so I have to do that report in mid april. I figure I'll probably use that same information to create a newletter about what we've been up to to send out to the alumnae at that time. PLUS - that will be right after our big huge wonderful PR event, and I can brag about all the (hopefully so) awesome results.

One other thing - dont feel too bad about founders quitting - it happens to EVERYBODY - We had 7, only 4 are still members, but only 2 are still active (hence, the 2 alumnae that we actually have). I, like Trish, have very little patience for people who dont take their membership seriously. If you dont wanna be here, GTFO. I guess thats why I have the repuation of being a hard @$$ (gotta love that military influence).

[xi_pinkrose]

Thanks Ladies, I feel better about the situation. I know the chapter has a lot on their plates. I just thought the 25 alum would get invited back for the first philantropy event or that they would take some time to make pink rose invitations. I have been know to expect a lot.

I have been in touch with the advisor and she mentions how the communication is very weak. I have in the past set up the yahoo group to keep everyone informed it was only maintained till I graduated then the girl who should have taken it over decided it wasn't important. I think our members spread across the U.S. think it is.

Letting go is hard, I have few girls coming over this week to use my sewing machine. We'll see what happens.

Thanks again. I knew you would be able to help.

[AXiDTrish]

Here's an idea.....you can offer to be a liaison to the alumnae. You have to make sure you don't step on Chapter toes, but many Chapters have an alumnae liaison to assist them in communications. Additionally, if you have a lot of alumnae in your area you can either form or become a member of an existing Alumnae Association and assist that Chapter through those avenues. Our AA's are extremely helpful in Atlanta...even the small ones!

If you expect a paper invitation, you are going to waste your time! Many AA's and Chapter's communicate via evite and email....it's cost effective. Take the 25 alumnae you have and form your own little dinner group or happy hour....don't wait on the collegiates to supplement your AZD experience....make your own by reaching out to other AZD's alumnae....we have fun...even MORE sometimes because we aren't stressed with silly campus stuff!!!!

PM me if you want ideas!

[xi_pinkrose]

It's not just me! I spoke to the old president and CVP and found out the new president doesn't want any help. She doesn't want to be corrected even though all her information is wrong, she doesn't want advice, and she doesn't care what she is doing to the whole chapter. She hasn't done any reports thus far. She hasn't finalized any programs.

She is not a list person so when she remembers to do something it is usually past her due date.

I was just so relieved that others are seeing what I am. I also informed the old President and CVP about how I here complaints from most members. And how nobody knows what is going on.
So that is the scoop.

Oh also we lost our ELC which isn't helping or may not be helping. We haven't heard from her all semester. But we have others looking after us.

Just thought I would keep you updated.

[amanda6035]

sounds like a president needs to be called into her own EC and be given an @$$ chewing