Another question that pisses me off

Dionysus · #1 02-06-2006, 01:17 PM

This one pisses me off far more than the "do you have a boyfriend?" question.

After you've just met someone, new or someone you have not seen in a long time, the second or third question is usually "And, what do you do?"

Okay, can people be a little more subtle about judging others according to which jobs/careers they have? What if the person they're asking is unemployed? Still in school? Stay at home parent? Having trouble getting interviews? Or, having any other complication that prevents them from gaining employment? While this is one of the most common and harmless (on surface) questions, it can leave people feeling pretty awkward.

Rudey · #2 02-06-2006, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
This one pisses me off far more than the "do you have a boyfriend?" question.

After you've just met someone, new or someone you have not seen in a long time, the second or third question is usually "And, what do you do?"

Okay, can people be a little more subtle about judging others according to which jobs/careers they have? What if the person they're asking is unemployed? Still in school? Stay at home parent? Having trouble getting interviews? Or, having any other complication that prevents them from gaining employment? While this is one of the most common and harmless (on surface) questions, it can leave people feeling pretty awkward.

A person has around 16 hours of time that they aren't asleep in a day. Somewhere around 50% of that time is taken up by work or school.

What the heck else are you supposed to talk about?

-Rudey

KSigkid · #3 02-06-2006, 01:27 PM

Honestly, you're going to have to get used to it. I know personally I'm at work more than I'm doing anything else during the week; if I don't know a person well, chances are, our conversation will go back to "What do you do for a living?" or "Where do you work?" or "What kind of things are you working on?"

It's just the way it is - the only thing you can try to do is steer the conversation to another subject.

Lindz928 · #4 02-06-2006, 01:30 PM

I have accepted this question as inevitable, but I don't really like it either. It doesn't bother me now nearly as much as it did a year ago. At the time I was working a crappy ass job that an 18-year-old could do, and I wasn't proud of it. I started to dread meeting new people because I knew they would ask that and I didn't want to answer it. It was just embarassing to have a college degree and admit to working where I did. Not cool.

I still think it's a crappy question, and I don't generally ask it at the beginning of a conversation, but at least now I'm not embarassed to answer it.

KATwoman · #5 02-06-2006, 01:42 PM

I don't think most people ask it in order to position you in some hierarchy. It's just a normal question and usually opens the door to interesting conversations.

KSig RC · #6 02-06-2006, 01:49 PM

This may come as a shock to some of you, so I'll lay it out plainly:

You will be judged by others based on your career, your success in that career, and on and on and on and on and on.

Peaches-n-Cream · #7 02-06-2006, 01:50 PM

I agree. "So what do you do?" is just one of those questions you are going to have to get used to answering.

You can say that you're in between jobs or interviewing. Actually, I know a few people who have gotten their jobs through friends or colleagues by saying something like that.

I try not to ask the question because I know so many people who have been unemployed or underemployed in the last few years. It can be awkward.

kddani · #8 02-06-2006, 01:53 PM

It's an easy point of conversation that can get someone talking and you can learn something about them. What you do is a big part of who you are.

Not having a job, not having a good job, etc. really isn't uncommon right now with the job market for young people.

AchtungBaby80 · #9 02-07-2006, 02:42 AM

A guy came up to me at the bar this past weekend and proceeded to try and chat me up, only I swear the conversation ran just like an interview. He came up and started firing questions at me--first he asked what my name was, then where I was from, and then the dread and so, what do you do? I don't care if it is acceptable and inevitable, I hate being asked that because it sounds like 1) the person is deciding whether or not I'm good enough to talk to, or 2) the person is trying to be smooth but is failing miserably because they're too damn boring to think of something more interesting. I'm glad my friends came and saved me.

KSig RC · #10 02-07-2006, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
I hate being asked that because it sounds like 1) the person is deciding whether or not I'm good enough to talk to

Uh, he is - and so are you, throughout the conversation. That's how it works.

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
or 2) the person is trying to be smooth but is failing miserably because they're too damn boring to think of something more interesting.

This is the real problem, I'd guess - and also, helps to prove my point about number 1.

Rudey · #11 02-07-2006, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
A guy came up to me at the bar this past weekend and proceeded to try and chat me up, only I swear the conversation ran just like an interview. He came up and started firing questions at me--first he asked what my name was, then where I was from, and then the dread and so, what do you do? I don't care if it is acceptable and inevitable, I hate being asked that because it sounds like 1) the person is deciding whether or not I'm good enough to talk to, or 2) the person is trying to be smooth but is failing miserably because they're too damn boring to think of something more interesting. I'm glad my friends came and saved me.

He should have just fondled you and asked if you wanted to go drink Jesus Juice with him and watch some SpikeTV.

-Rudey

Coramoor · #12 02-07-2006, 12:22 PM

Hey, just because you got a liberal arts degree and can't find a job don't bitch about the rest of us that got a worthwhile degree and started a career!

KSigkid · #13 02-07-2006, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coramoor
Hey, just because you got a liberal arts degree and can't find a job don't bitch about the rest of us that got a worthwhile degree and started a career!

Now that's not always true...

KSigKid
- Liberal arts degree and journalism degree, with worthwhile job

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #14 02-07-2006, 01:18 PM

I think it's ridiculous and childish to expect people to avoid asking you what you do 40+ hours a week.

And I think if you're that ashamed about what you do, it's time to look for another job.

Jacquelyn
- Degree in process, with worthwhile job.

valkyrie · #15 02-07-2006, 01:25 PM

I don't understand why you're drawing the conclusion that somebody is judging you by what you do when asking about it. If I ask someone that question, it's because I'm getting to know someone and curious -- I don't care if you're an attorney or if you sit at home on your ass all day shopping online and eating bonbons. "Do" can mean more than work, you know.

Are you just looking for reasons to be angry?