Those less fortunate....

lifesaver · #1 01-13-2006, 02:42 AM

Do you give money or anything to beggars? How do you differentiate who is legitimately down on their luck and who is just a drunk beggar person?

I never do. I dont know why, but I dont. Whenever I am at a gas station (as happened tonight) or someplace in a parking lot and someone approaches me, they usually just want cash. It happens to me about once a week. i usually act like I am in a big hurry and just say something like "Sorry, cant talk, in a huge hurry." And scamper off. Tonight I kinda felt bad for this one chick tho. She was probably 40 but looked 50 and just asked if she could talk to me for a minute, I told her no because I was in a hurry. She told me it wouldnt take but a second and had this kinda desperate look on her face. Knowing I didnt have cash anyway, I told her sorry and hopped in the truck. She probably wouldda knifed me had I talked to her anyway.

Its been my experience tho (amongst my friends) that if you were raised in a small town, you wont give money to the homeless. If you were raised in a large city, you sometimes do.

IS this ya'lls expereince? So you give to random beggars on the street?

CUGreekgirl · #2 01-13-2006, 03:00 AM

We don't have beggars on the street here, and I don't ever plan on moving to a large city, so I doubt I'll ever be faced with this.

I would probably offer to buy the person a meal or something, but I would have a very hard time giving a person cash that they could use for alcohol or drugs.

RACooper · #3 01-13-2006, 03:55 AM

Generally no... but I do make exceptions based on the vibe I'm getting. I have run into more than a few that are just looking for human compasion or interaction - they just want to talk to someone... and if I have time I'll give them a little change and a chat.

My faith in some though has been kinda strengthen by something that happened back in 2001 - I was heading back to work with my boss after lunch and we were stopped by a native guy in his early 30s. He straight up said that he was a recent release from prison the day before; but had blown his cash at a bar celebrating. He asked if we had anything we could give him so he could go back home to his reserve; because he knew he would just fall back into crime if he stayed in the city. I asked him for some proof of his story, and he presented his release papers along with his status card - a card that said he was from the Wahta Territory near the family's cottage. Anyways I gave him a $20 and told him I'd be checking with Commandant (the chief) when I saw him later in the month when I was up there again - the guy was estatic and nearly fell over himself saying thanks... anyways about 2 months later I was taking down a couple of dead trees at the cottage when low and behold Commandant shows up with the "homeless" guy and what turned out to be his father - not only did he give me $20, but they helped me with the trees and we split a case of beer while grilling the venison they'd brought too.

Other than that I have met a half dozen students at university that had at one point lived on the streets, but had been 'saved' by the various outreach programs around - and had turned their lives around enough that they had been accepted to school through the school's outreach program... all of them said they could trace the turn around to an act of kindness: money, shelter, or even advice (such as the fact there was an outreach program).

James · #4 01-13-2006, 03:57 AM

I give money all the time.

One time I was in Mcdonalds and they were tossing this old homeless guy out for asking for fries so I bought him a meal.

I think its more a matter of your natural generosity than experience. Some people just give, others really aren't comfortable with it.

PS. I have also bought penniless inebriated sorority girls food in the wee hours of the morning.

PiKA2001 · #5 01-13-2006, 04:04 AM

I usually don't give out money. I'm in Detroit often so if I gave money to everyone who asked I would be homeless myself. I went to TWO places earlier today in the city and was asked for money outside of each place. Thats how Detroit is. I did give money to a guy once who wanted to buy beer. He said it was his 40th birthday and he wanted a 40 for his 40, I couldn't argue with that.

SissyC0109 · #6 01-13-2006, 04:18 AM

I've given money lots of times but it really depends on who it is and I don't do it as often as I used to. When I've just gotten off work and some guy wearing expensive sneakers asks me for money I just get angry.

Several times I've said flat out "I don't give money to men." They're usually so surprised by what I've said that they don't have time for a response or don't know what to say. Once though, this guy completely flipped on me, flew into a rage and started swearing at me. I smiled though because he had just illustrated why most men are undeserving.

How on earth do you know who you're helping. A rapist? A pedophile? A wife-beater? Odds are that they're some kind of lowlife.

PiKA2001 · #7 01-13-2006, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SissyC0109
most men are undeserving.

How on earth do you know who you're helping. A rapist? A pedophile? A wife-beater? Odds are that they're some kind of lowlife.

So you prefer to give your money to crack-whores or prostitutes?

James · #8 01-13-2006, 04:29 AM

You batting for the other team? You don't seem to have a high opinion of men . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by SissyC0109
I've given money lots of times but it really depends on who it is and I don't do it as often as I used to. When I've just gotten off work and some guy wearing expensive sneakers asks me for money I just get angry.

Several times I've said flat out "I don't give money to men." They're usually so surprised by what I've said that they don't have time for a response or don't know what to say. Once though, this guy completely flipped on me, flew into a rage and started swearing at me. I smiled though because he had just illustrated why most men are undeserving.

How on earth do you know who you're helping. A rapist? A pedophile? A wife-beater? Odds are that they're some kind of lowlife.

PiKA2001 · #9 01-13-2006, 04:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
You batting for the other team? You don't seem to have a high opinion of men . . .

Ha-Ha! I was kinda thinking the same thing. It's one thing to be feminist...but a man-hater????

BobbyTheDon · #10 01-13-2006, 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SissyC0109
I've given money lots of times but it really depends on who it is and I don't do it as often as I used to. When I've just gotten off work and some guy wearing expensive sneakers asks me for money I just get angry.

Several times I've said flat out "I don't give money to men." They're usually so surprised by what I've said that they don't have time for a response or don't know what to say. Once though, this guy completely flipped on me, flew into a rage and started swearing at me. I smiled though because he had just illustrated why most men are undeserving.

How on earth do you know who you're helping. A rapist? A pedophile? A wife-beater? Odds are that they're some kind of lowlife.

Ok this REALLY upsets me. I had a friend name Laura whose father lost his job. He was certainly not a pedophile, rapist, wife beater. He was an honest man who got laid off. They were homeless for a while, couldn't find a job. Luckily Laura got a job at the mall. But she got fired once her boss foundout she was homeless. Ok fine, sure maybe I'm talking about an episode from "Saved By The Bell". But still, you shouldn't generalize and say that about men.

Now I must defeat you with my Wu Tang sword for being an idiot.

SissyC0109 · #11 01-13-2006, 05:09 AM

Nope, not batting for the other team. And I'm not so much a man-hater as a man-realist. I don't think much of women either but at least most aren't violent.

SissyC0109 · #12 01-13-2006, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BobbyTheDon
Ok this REALLY upsets me. I had a friend name Laura whose father lost his job. He was certainly not a pedophile, rapist, wife beater. He was an honest man who got laid off. They were homeless for a while, couldn't find a job. Luckily Laura got a job at the mall. But she got fired once her boss foundout she was homeless. Ok fine, sure maybe I'm talking about an episode from "Saved By The Bell". But still, you shouldn't generalize and say that about men.

Now I must defeat you with my Wu Tang sword for being an idiot.

Okay, did I say that EVERY guy is a pedophile, rapist, wife-beater? No. So don't get your panties in a wad.

AGDee · #13 01-13-2006, 07:15 AM

There are a couple guys who work a corner on my way home from work. They hold up a Homeless and Hungry sign right by my entrance to the freeway (by Wayne State for the Detroiters, Forest and the Lodge). I had an apple that I hadn't eaten from lunch and offered it to one of them. He just rolled his eyes at me. I figure, if you're hungry, you'll take an apple. If you're looking for drug/alcohol money, you won't.

I did dump a couple comforters off near one of the viaducts where a guy has been living for about two years now. His blankets were getting ratty and I was going to donate the comforters anyway, so I just pulled over to the side and tossed them out the window in plastic bags. He uses them.

I'd rather give directly to the soup kitchens/food banks that directly help the poor because then I know it's being used for a good purpose.

Dee

mu_agd · #14 01-13-2006, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BobbyTheDon
Ok this REALLY upsets me. I had a friend name Laura whose father lost his job. He was certainly not a pedophile, rapist, wife beater. He was an honest man who got laid off. They were homeless for a while, couldn't find a job. Luckily Laura got a job at the mall. But she got fired once her boss foundout she was homeless. Ok fine, sure maybe I'm talking about an episode from "Saved By The Bell". But still, you shouldn't generalize and say that about men.

Now I must defeat you with my Wu Tang sword for being an idiot.

Ok, so um I started to read this and was like, there was an episode of Saved By the Bell that was just like this...

KSigkid · #15 01-13-2006, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SissyC0109
Okay, did I say that EVERY guy is a pedophile, rapist, wife-beater? No. So don't get your panties in a wad.

No, but you did say most men are violent.