Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

KSUViolet06 · #1 05-11-2008, 05:29 PM

People love to ask me this. It's always "why aren't you married" or "how come you haven't found someone" or "why are you so picky?"

I'm 23, working on a Masters, and just really enjoying my life, and I feel like marriage and such will happen in time, and if it doesn't, I still will have a fulfilling life.

Still, I wonder what you ladies say to this. Witty or smarty-pants answers accepted also.

AKA_Monet · #2 05-11-2008, 05:35 PM

The ladies of SGRho have been discussing this topic for awhile...

Jimmy Choo · #3 05-11-2008, 05:51 PM

You're only 23... why are people even asking? You are still young and have a lot of living to do!

Thetagirl218 · #4 05-11-2008, 05:53 PM

I went to a friend's graduation party yesterday, and her boyfriend says to me... "So why aren't you married already? You graduated 6 months ago! Weren't you supposed to meet your special someone in college? If you don't watch out you will be a old maid for ever!"

Now I am only 21.....

I hit him....... I found the whole conversation rather funny as he has been dating my friend on and off again since high school.....

And he has no idea of my dating life....

But besides that instance, I usually say, " I just haven't met the guy I want to settle down with yet..."

ThetaDancer · #5 05-11-2008, 05:57 PM

KSUViolet-
I laughed out loud when I saw this thread because over the past week, I have suddenly been hearing this question repeatedly, and no one had ever really asked me before! I *just* turned 24 and I'm still in grad school, so it seems really out of place.

I don't have much to add because so far I've just been awkwardly trying to change the subject, but I'll be interested in hearing responses. And AKA_Monet thanks for the link!

KSUViolet06 · #6 05-11-2008, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmy Choo

You're only 23... why are people even asking? You are still young and have a lot of living to do!

Of course I know that, but in my social circle, the generally accepted timeline of events is:

1. Meet boyfriend in undergrad (junior year)
2. Get engaged shortly before graduation.
3. Plan wedding for 1-2 years.
4. Marry
5. Buy home soon after
6. Have first child before age 30.

I've sort of broken the generally accepted timeline. I'm one of those people who feels like you can't put timelines on that type of stuff, and that we just can't try to plan our lives. Do I want all those things? Yep. But I refuse to stress myself over them and generally feel like I am still young and my bio clock is not "ticking."

Leslie Anne · #7 05-11-2008, 07:22 PM

At 41, I've been asked that a lot. My response depends on who's asking it.

1. Shrug and quickly change the topic.
2. Say, "Fate doesn't smile on everyone."
3. Say, "Oh, shut up!"

And my biological clock isn't just ticking...it's about to explode!

smiley21 · #8 05-11-2008, 07:51 PM

Well, my 26th birthday is next week, so this question has become a major topic for me. So many people that I know are married or getting married (and these are people between 21 and 24). My mom is actually a little concerned about me because I am not as social as I "need to be". She wants me to get out more. It is just that things are happening late for me (i.e. I just graduated last year). I am still working on getting my career started. I definitely want to be married and have kids someday. It just has not happened yet. I want to be more settled before I get married anyway.

Jimmy Choo · #9 05-11-2008, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Of course I know that, but in my social circle, the generally accepted timeline of events is:

1. Meet boyfriend in undergrad (junior year)
2. Get engaged shortly before graduation.
3. Plan wedding for 1-2 years.
4. Marry
5. Buy home soon after
6. Have first child before age 30.

I've sort of broken the generally accepted timeline. I'm one of those people who feels like you can't put timelines on that type of stuff, and that we just can't try to plan our lives. Do I want all those things? Yep. But I refuse to stress myself over them and generally feel like I am still young and my bio clock is not "ticking."

I'll try to think of some witty comebacks for you!

I got that too after I graduated. It boggled my mind that people could even be married at that age. IMO, there was still some more fun to be had! With the divorce rate in our society I would think we wouldn't want to push someone to get married.

AKA_Monet · #10 05-11-2008, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smiley21

Well, my 26th birthday is next week, so this question has become a major topic for me. So many people that I know are married or getting married (and these are people between 21 and 24). My mom is actually a little concerned about me because I am not as social as I "need to be". She wants me to get out more. It is just that things are happening late for me (i.e. I just graduated last year). I am still working on getting my career started. I definitely want to be married and have kids someday. It just has not happened yet. I want to be more settled before I get married anyway.

Wow... I will be celebrating my 5th anniversary on Friday, May 16th... Wood or Silver, I guess?

Anywho, I got married at 34ish...

I agree with you, if you need to wait until you are ready to settle down, please do... Because there is NOTHING like not being ready and try being in a relationship--especially a marital one...

Scandia · #11 05-11-2008, 08:11 PM

"Because I have not found the right person yet. Better alone than in bad company."

Munchkin03 · #12 05-11-2008, 08:43 PM

Wow. I just turned 27, and I have NEVER gotten that question. No one in my social circle is married--there are a few engaged couples, but they have been together FOREVER, and it was about freaking time!

Perhaps it's urban vs. non-urban/coastal vs. flyover or something like that. I know a few people from college who have gotten married, but they either were together forever or got married quickly for religious/social reasons.

At 27, my 10-year HS reunion is coming up, and most of the people who got married within 5 years of graduation are now DIVORCED. Who wants to be divorced at 23?

Benzgirl · #13 05-11-2008, 08:50 PM

We've been through this before

texas*princess · #14 05-11-2008, 09:57 PM

I get this question a lot.... I'm 26. I've been getting it pretty much since I graduated 4 years ago.

With me there are a number of different factors that play into my singleness. For one, my job requires me to travel = A LOT = , sometimes for extended periods of time. So as you might imagine, it's hard to meet guys with a schedule like that.

Secondly, I have some pretty high expectations. I am successful & ambitious, and I expect my future husband to be the same, but most of the guys I've met like that are jerks.

Thirdly, I don't date random Joes off the street. I prefer to date guys that are "endorsed" by people I already know.

Lastly, I'm 26... seriously. I'm enjoying life and focusing on my career right now. I don't think I want kids in the future, so really I don't feel like I have a "biological clock" to worry about.

aephi alum · #15 05-11-2008, 10:00 PM

I feel your pain, except that in my case the question is, "When are you going to have a baby, already?!"

Good answer to "why aren't you married": "If and when I meet a man with whom I want to spend the rest of my life, then and only then will we get married."

Smartass answer: "I'm a lesbian."