Help

hughesfan02 · #1 11-01-2005, 12:40 PM

I am currently a member of Delta Delta Delta. I have been a member of the sorority for 3 years, but now I'm considering deactivation. One problem is money. I pay my dues, not my parents and its already a big financial responsibility...plus with my busy senior year schedule, I have missed some events and had to pay fines, and the sorority wants us to buy special order shirts and other items for recruitment. Also, I do not feel connected with my sorority. In previous years, I really enjoyed doing things wih my sisters, but I'm living off campus this year and don't get to see them as much as I used to and when I do get a chance to go to social events, I feel like an outsider...and can't wait to leave.
I had so many great times with my sorority sisters. I feel really sad that things have changed...can anyone offer some advice on what I can do to change things...or if any of you have deactivated, how did you feel afterwards?

33girl · #2 11-01-2005, 12:46 PM

Does your sorority have any sort of senior status? Have you submitted legitimate excuses for the events you had to miss?

It sounds like you have had an enjoyable time up till this year, it would be a shame to throw it all away and self-terminate now.

MysticCat · #3 11-01-2005, 12:51 PM

I've got a feeling lots of people will say this, but remember that your membership in Delta Delta Delta is for life. It may be hard this year, but when you finish school and move to a new town, start new jobs, etc., you'll be glad to have Tri-Delta connections.

It happens that we go through stages where we don't feel as connected with brothers/sisters, but things can change. The only real advice I can offer is to remember that it takes work on both sides to stay connected. Perhaps your sister's don't feel as connected because, since you live off campus, they don't see you like they used to. It may take some creativity to figure out ways to keep the connection going.

But regardless, there's still a lifetime of possible new friendships and experiences ahead as an alumna. It would be a real shame, I think, to throw away those new friendships and experiences just because it's gotten hard senior year. I'm not meaning to minimize how you feel right now; I'm just saying that even if things don't get better this year, it's worth sticking it out so that you don't lose the chance to be an alumna member rather than a de-activated member.

honeychile · #4 11-01-2005, 12:55 PM

hughesfan, it sounds as if you have a bad case of senioritis! Does TriDelta have an emergency loan or grant program for collegiates? If so, I'd get working on it immediately. Right now, deactivation sounds like an easy way out, but remember that sorority is for a lifetime - you may NEED that TriDelta contact when you graduate. Good luck in your decision!

PS - My first contact with sorority outside of my family was a TriDelta!

Little E · #5 11-01-2005, 01:16 PM

A lot of people on here will tell you that your senior year is your hardest year in the sorority. I know it was for me. Many of us stuck through it, though it was very very trying and now are much happier to be involved on our National Staffs, advising chapters etc.

Take a step back and look at your schedule, can you make it more efficient some how? Make sure you send in your excuses well in advance, and if you can lodge permenant excuses, do that asap.

When I moved from WI to Philly, AST really helped me get settled in. Between chapter sisters that are out here, and the chapter that is down the road, it really helped me find my way after moving to a city where I knew no one (save some family). Perhaps down the road Tri-Delta will do the same for you...

Essentially only you can make the decision. But I would strongly encourage you to stick it out. Maybe you miss a lot of events, but make a very strong effort to have fun at the events you can attend.

Best of luck. (Sorry for the randomness of my thoughts...)
E

SigmaKappaRoyal · #6 11-01-2005, 07:46 PM

I agree with what everyone else said. Make sure you put in your excuses ahead of time. Also, can you take a leave of absence? In our chapter we could take a onetime quarter-long leave of absence. Many of our seniors would take advantage of this. Is this something you can do?

KSUViolet06 · #7 11-01-2005, 08:20 PM

I'm a senior in my sorority now, taking 18 credits (full load), balancing 2 other student organization, and dues. It does get tough, but I would NEVER terminate my membership.

I suggest talking to your Treasurer and explaining your financial situation. Ours is fabulous at working out a more flexible payment schedule. You should also talk to her about why you're missing events. If they are for valid reasons (I'm sure you know what your chapter considers valid), you could avoid fines.

As far as feeling "out of the loop", find a sister you trust and ask her to keep you updated on events etc. That helps too.