Eliminating Courting

[STL Kappa]

So at the University of Missouri, the Panhellenic Association and Interfraternity Council have proposed an amendment to eliminate all the frills and such that go with courting. (There's an article about it...)

http://www.themaneater.com/article.php?id=21155

If passed, GLOs can only court by sending a letter to the fraternity/sorority they are interested in being paired with for an event. (The letter must be written on the organization's letterhead, sent to Greek Life to be reviewed, where it will be rewritten on Greek Life letterhead and then sent to its intended recipient.) An organization can send letters to as many houses as they wish. To create pairings, each GLO will make a list of the top seven sororities/fraternities it wishes to be paired with, then the lists will be compared, and pairings will be made.

On one hand this is good I guess, evens the playing field for smaller houses and eliminates the rivalry and competition from courting... but part of what makes courting so fun is the competition associated with it. (I think.)

Has anyone else's school done something like this... anybody have any opinions?? I'm not really sure I'm convinced yet!! Figured I'd get some input from you guys!!

[CarolinaDG]

South Carolina always has done the regular, just ask someone to mix/pair up for an event. BUT, I have heard of schools doing a rotation schedule for mixers. I think it's a great idea... You get to know people from ALL organizations. I know we mixed with the same one or two fraternities constantly because they were in our "comfort zone" but if you break out of it you may be surprised with who you meet. Plus, you never know what stereotypes it may break down. I mean, if the "good" sorority all of the sudden has to mix with the "bad" fraternity (not that anyone EVER thinks of sororities or fraternities as "good" or "bad" ) than maybe someone in the "good" sorority will meet some great guy that she didn't realize was in the "bad" fraternity, and all of the sudden they will get a fairer chance. I know, ever the eternal optimist. *sigh*

Originally posted by STL Kappa
So at the University of Missouri, the Panhellenic Association and Interfraternity Council have proposed an amendment to eliminate all the frills and such that go with courting. (There's an article about it...)

http://www.themaneater.com/article.php?id=21155

If passed, GLOs can only court by sending a letter to the fraternity/sorority they are interested in being paired with for an event. (The letter must be written on the organization's letterhead, sent to Greek Life to be reviewed, where it will be rewritten on Greek Life letterhead and then sent to its intended recipient.) An organization can send letters to as many houses as they wish. To create pairings, each GLO will make a list of the top seven sororities/fraternities it wishes to be paired with, then the lists will be compared, and pairings will be made.

On one hand this is good I guess, evens the playing field for smaller houses and eliminates the rivalry and competition from courting... but part of what makes courting so fun is the competition associated with it. (I think.)

Has anyone else's school done something like this... anybody have any opinions?? I'm not really sure I'm convinced yet!! Figured I'd get some input from you guys!!

[WCUgirl]

I'm not sure I fully understand what "courting" is. Is that the process by which a sorority (or a fraternity) goes to another sorority/fraternity to try to "win the privilege" of being paired w/ them for homecoming?

At my undergrad campus, our pairs were picked out of a hat. The only thing we did w/ them during homecoming week was to build and ride on the float w/ them. This sounds way more elaborate.

ETA: After reading CarolinaDG's post, are you referring to mixers? We would be asked by the fraternity if we wanted to have a mixer w/ them. Usually it would just be their social chair calling our social chair and saying, "Do you wanna' have a mixer this week?" or something like that.

[33girl]

Originally posted by STL Kappa
If passed, GLOs can only court by sending a letter to the fraternity/sorority they are interested in being paired with for an event. (The letter must be written on the organization's letterhead, sent to Greek Life to be reviewed, where it will be rewritten on Greek Life letterhead and then sent to its intended recipient.) An organization can send letters to as many houses as they wish. To create pairings, each GLO will make a list of the top seven sororities/fraternities it wishes to be paired with, then the lists will be compared, and pairings will be made.

If Greek Life is going to review and write letters, why bother going to the trouble to write one to begin with?? That sounds like a lot of extra work all around. Why doesn't GL just create an approved form instead?

[CarolinaDG]

Really, I'm referring to both. Homecoming and mixers. Homecoming is a big "scramble" because there are 9 sororities and only 8 fraternities that do it. So, everyone picks their pairs about 8 months ahead of time. I, as vp:Panhellenic, hated this SOOOO much because it was so much back-stabbing, under the table stuff. I just wanted to make sure we were paired up and not the "loser" sorority who had noone to do homecoming with. As far as mixers, it was always our social chair as well. I'm not sure, but you went to Newberry, right? I may be dead wrong on this, but my ex was a KA at Newberry, so we would kind of compare notes about how mixers went. At USC, you don't have time to mix with all 15 of the fraternities, so usually you end up mixing with the same ones. We always mixed with Pi Kapp when I was in school, but there were the other ones that you knew would do a couple of mixers together as well... ATO and ZTA, KA and KD, SAE and Tri-Delt, etc... And then, if the fraternity didn't feel as if you were "good enough" to mix with, they would offer an informal mixer. Basically, a party on their hall that they can invite other girls to, but your whole sorority will be invited. At Newberry, you kind of go through something similar, but on a much smaller scale. Three sororities for three fraternities (I think that's still true!). So you know that the fraternities will probably eventually mix with all the sororities, for the most part. I distinctly remember John having a couple of KD mixers and an Alpha Xi mixer, but I can't remember him going to any of the Tri-Sig ones, so I'm not sure if they mixed or not. I dunno, like I said before, it's very optimistic of me to think that ALL fraternities will mix with ALL sororities, but I know that I had friends in almost all of the fraternities.... It's kind of like joining a sorority... you can like girls in all of the sororities and respect the sorority for being who they are, but still think that YOUR sorority is the best!

[WCUgirl]

I didn't go to Newberry -- I went to Western Carolina.

Sheesh, that sounds like too much trouble. For Homecoming, our pairs were drawn out of a hat, no more than about a month beforehand. At one point, we had twice as many fraternities (6 to 13), so we all got paired w/ two, and one group was paired w/ three. Of course, Homecoming wasn't really a big deal (Greek Week was). The only thing we did w/ our pair was build and ride on the float (as I mentioned above).

Like I also mentioned, our mixers were just the fraternity's social chair calling our (or another sorority's) social chair and asking about a good date for a mixer. Before the rules changed in 2000, we had one mixer a week, sometimes two and once or twice we had three. I'll admit it - there were a couple of fraternities that we didn't want to mix with, and we didn't, mainly b/c their social chair was too intimidated to call us to invite us out and also b/c they didn't know any of us. One fraternity (that shall remain nameless) invited us for a mixer, but we went over for dinner instead.

Not all of the sororities had such a busy mixer schedule, b/c, well, they just weren't as popular (like having only one or two mixers a semester). One sorority never got invited for mixers b/c even though the guys liked them and they were popular, the guys complained that they always went home at 12. Sometimes girls in other sororities would get jealous when you mixed w/ a particular fraternity b/c that fraternity was thought of as "belonging to" that sorority b/c either a lot of the girls dated the guys, or they were little sisters out there, or they had been mixing or partying out there a lot lately, or whatever.

If we had been invited to the guys' house for an informal mixer and there were girls there that weren't in our sorority, we would have been seriously offended and left. We did show up to one fraternity mixer one time and some of their little sisters were there. We made the guys get them to leave b/c we didn't want them there and we didn't want to be held liable for their actions.

We didn't have pairs for Greek Week either. Greek week was girls vs. girls and boys vs. boys. Usually the sorority that won and the fraternity that won would have a victory party together on Saturday night. We always won, so that was more of the winning fraternity inviting us out to their house for the night.

This courting thing sounds like too much work. Let the boys come to you!

[AchtungBaby80]

We didn't have "courting"...if I'm not mistaken, I think pairs for Greek Week, Homecoming, etc. were done randomly...but then, I could be wrong. All I know is, we were told who we were paired with at meeting a week or two before the event.

Describe courting to me. Do you get presents, or what?

[STL Kappa]

Courting, in the past, has involved...

Boys sending roses and such for holidays/special events. Our current Greek Week partners (Sig Ep!) gave blood for Kappa in our Homecoming blood drive to help us earn more points. We've been sober drivers for houses we're interested in being paired with, as well as brought them breakfast. Signs are made, windows are decorated, banners are hung all to express interest in another house. You go to the other organization's house or events to get to know the members better. We also serenade the house we want... BIG productions that involve renting lights/limos/etc.

That help a little bit?! Also, women usually court the men for Greek Week, and the men court the women for Homecoming... thought I'd throw that in there.

And (one more thing... I think someone mentioned it, I don't know, this thread got real long real fast!) we usually wait four years before we pair up with a house again. (Greek Life I believe JUST made it a rule this year, but most of the houses have done it on their own in the past...) For example, when our current seniors were freshmen, they did Homecoming with the men of Delta Upsilon (who won this year!) making us eligible to participate in Homecoming with them again this fall. That way, two houses don't constantly pair up with each other... everyone gets a chance!!

I didn't go to Newberry -- I went to Western Carolina.

Sheesh, that sounds like too much trouble. For Homecoming, our pairs were drawn out of a hat, no more than about a month beforehand. At one point, we had twice as many fraternities (6 to 13), so we all got paired w/ two, and one group was paired w/ three. Of course, Homecoming wasn't really a big deal (Greek Week was). The only thing we did w/ our pair was build and ride on the float (as I mentioned above).

I guess part of the reason there is so much competition is because of how big the events we have are... the whole concept of Homecoming was founded at Mizzou so it's a HUGE event for us. We find out our Homecoming pairings in April or May and Homecoming is usually that October... and we start working on it in August... SUCH a big deal and SO stressful, but fun!!

[TSteven]

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
We didn't have "courting"...if I'm not mistaken, I think pairs for Greek Week, Homecoming, etc. were done randomly...but then, I could be wrong. All I know is, we were told who we were paired with at meeting a week or two before the event.

Describe courting to me. Do you get presents, or what?

When I was at Kentucky - last millennium - I don't recall sororities and fraternities paired up for anything. If there was a competition, then I believe we had separate divisions. One for the sororities and one for the fraternities.

As for mixers, the social chair would call the other social chair and invite. Or call to give a heads up that the chapter is coming over in mass to present an invitation. Usually done with/after a serenade.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by TSteven
When I was at Kentucky - last millennium - I don't recall sororities and fraternities paired up for anything. If there was a competition, then I believe we had separate divisions. One for the sororities and one for the fraternities.

As for mixers, the social chair would call the other social chair and invite. Or call to give a heads up that the chapter is coming over in mass to present an invitation. Usually done with/after a serenade.

That's interesting...by the time I got there, each sorority was paired with one (or more, depending on size) fraternity for Greek events. Like I said, I don't really know how they were chosen, but there was no courting or anything--I don't think the individual groups had much say.

For mixers, usually the fraternity's social chair would just call our social chair. Or, they could get creative like the Fiji's did one time and show up on our doorstep before meeting dressed in island attire and invite us to their luau. That was a fun idea.

[PSUSigKap]

penn state calls "courting" askings. it's pretty much a free for all as to who asks who. askings are a ton of fun.

~homecoming in the fall : fraternities ask usually end of march/beginning of april
~greek sing after homecoming in the fall: sororities ask usually end of march/beginning of april
~THON: this is a little different, most THON partners stay together for years, but the askings are usually sometime in march. it alternates every year as to who asks.
~Greek Week in the spring: fraternities ask. my freshman and sophomore years the askings were novemberish, my junior and senior years the askings were in january

here's an example of how askings go for homecoming and greek week.

round one: a fraternity or fraternities will call the sorority president and schedule when to come do the official asking ie before or after chapter one nite. also they let the sorority know some of what they have planned for the whole asking, ie bagels every morning, rides to class, flowers etc. after all the people who have been scheduled to ask your org. have done their skit or whatever, the chapter votes on whether or not to pair with one of the ones who asked or wait til 2nd rounds for someone different to ask.

round 2: goes pretty much the same as round one, but there are less sororities to pick from because some of them have accepted and are doing homecoming with someone who asked them during round one.

open askings: either the sororities or fraternities can ask because they haven't been paired up yet.

it can get really crazy sometimes with the different orgs competing with each other. one time my org competed with 3 other sororities at the same time for the same fraternity to do greek sing with us. it's truely march madness!


we called "mixers" socials and the social chairs handled everything. we usually had socials thursday-saturday nites every week.

even with as many of the fraternities as there are at penn state, you usually wind up doing stuff with the same 5 or 6.

[TSteven]

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
That's interesting...by the time I got there, each sorority was paired with one (or more, depending on size) fraternity for Greek events. Like I said, I don't really know how they were chosen, but there was no courting or anything--I don't think the individual groups had much say.

For mixers, usually the fraternity's social chair would just call our social chair. Or, they could get creative like the Fiji's did one time and show up on our doorstep before meeting dressed in island attire and invite us to their luau. That was a fun idea.

Slight UK hijack.

Yeah, I have noticed how it's changed on campus.

Basically, there were two types of events. One type would be for sororities only or for the fraternities only. Examples would be that only sororities participated in Sigma Chi Derby Days while only fraternities participated in y'all's Frat Man's Classic.

Hijack of the hijack: Do y'all still host the Delta Zeta Frat Man's Classic?

The other type of event would be an event that both sororities and fraternities could participate in yet there were no teams. Example would be like Greek Sing. Fraternities and sororities participate but not as teams. Sororities versus sororities and fraternities versus fraternities. And any competition during Homecoming - which really wasn't as big a deal back then - was also separated into one for the fraternities and one for the sororities.

Also, Greek week was made up of various types of events sponsored by a chapter or chapters. Yet again, no teaming up of fraternities and sororities.

End of hijacks... for now.

[KSUViolet06]

Here at Kent, Greek Week and Homecoming pairing is done randomly. If a fraternity is interested in doing a mixer/social with your chapter, they contact your social chair. If a sorority wants to mix with a fraternity, they do the same.

I have heard about courting from girls in other Sigma chapters and it's quite an interesting concept.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by TSteven
Hijack of the hijack: Do y'all still host the Delta Zeta Frat Man's Classic?

Yes, I think they restarted it the year after I graduated.

Whenever a single sorority hosts an event, like Frat Man's Classic, it's still pretty common for only fraternities to participate, and vice versa. Each fraternity will have a "coach," who is a member of the sorority sponsoring the event.

Most Greek events at UK now, though, are for both fraternities and sororities, and everyone gets paired up. I think it makes it more fun that way.

OK, done with the UK hijack for the moment. Proceed.

[alphaalpha]

Homecomming partners are done by the fraternaties serenading the sororities and then the sororities vote on their favorits and put the guys in an order. The sororities get to vote who they are partnered with based on their rank in homecomming points. So the winner gets to vote first for who they are partnered with the next year. There are more sororities than frats, so some how that gets determined as well but i am not sure how. I think this is kinda of fair. I guess i never thought of it till now that there are other ways to do matching.

But i have to say that i love the serenading, Which is all done the same night, i really liked the guys dressing up and comming over and singing songs. We did not get gifts, but we still had a lot of fun. You never knew what the guys were going to do and it was always the funniest thing in the world. I have to say that i like that part best. I mean, homecomming games were fun and all, but i like it when guys work to immpress women.