Legacy Dilemma

taurus0426 · #1 05-30-2008, 01:19 PM

Okay so I'm thinking of pledging next semester and I have a bit of an issue. I am an ABC legacy (mom was one) and it has been kind of unspoken that that is where I would end up since I was in all the junior programs, etc, and went to all things ABC. But now I keep asking myself if this is where I want to be? Dont get me wrong I LOVE ABC and all it stands for and would LOVE to be a part of it, but I feel like I'd pledge out of family expectation. My mom has said that I should pick the sorority thats right for ME but I cant think of pledging another sorority without feeling like I'm committing treason.

Has anyone else felt this way?

Okay I didnt know about the discrestion thing beforehand so I'll keep that in mind next time. But is it only in NPHC ones or all of them?

rhoyaltempest · #2 05-30-2008, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Okay so I'm thinking of pledging next semester and I have a bit of an issue. I am an AKA legacy (mom was one) and it has been kind of unspoken that that is where I would end up since I was in all the junior programs, etc, and went to all things AKA. But now I keep asking myself if this is where I want to be? Dont get me wrong I LOVE AKA and all it stands for and would LOVE to be a part of it, but I feel like I'd pledge out of family expectation. My mom has said that I should pick the sorority thats right for ME but I cant think of pledging another sorority without feeling like I'm committing treason.

Has anyone else felt this way?

If you had done some observing and read some of the posts that say "Read this before posting" or something like that, you would've known that discretion is key and it wasn't necessary to name a particular organization in order to get some advice. Also, If you knew as much as you think you know about the org you speak of you would know that your mom is one, not "was" one since membership is for life. Many members chose the organizations of their family members and many did not. Research all 4 of the NPHC sororities so you can make an informed decision. The decision is too important to simply do now and ask questions later and you certainly can't change your mind down the road. Bottom line: it's no big deal if you choose to pursue an organization other than your mother's. People do it all the time.

Harmonie~GAMMA · #3 05-30-2008, 02:22 PM

Legacy doesn't mean there is an obligation to pursue that organization.

Its better to be well informed and pursue an organization that best fits YOUR needs, goals, and beliefs.

OneTimeSBX · #4 05-30-2008, 02:36 PM

i am also legacy of an unnamed d9 sorority...my mother and three aunts are xyz, as well as members of my fiances immediate family. i have been surrounded and immersed in all things xyz for as long as i can remember but my mother told me to follow my heart. i wound up somewhere different. i think she may have been a little disappointed, and after that my sister pledged completely different as well. instead of looking at it as a "betrayal", we look at it as combining our three sisterhoods and have actually done things together representing black women, not abc/xzy/123...because thats what its really all about.

taurus0426 · #5 05-30-2008, 08:42 PM

Sorry guys...I'm new to the whole greek thing. I just dont know where I should be though. Some people say my personality is more of another d9 sorority while others say I'm more of a GDI. I just feel like i'm at a crossroads right now. I'm the youngest and only girl in my family and my brothers didnt pledge my dad's frat so it's kind of the last chance to keep the greek legacy going.

Questions for the sorors out there

What is the whole rule of discrestion about? I didnt name people or anything but I wanted to know for future reference.

taurus0426 · #6 05-30-2008, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

If you had done some observing and read some of the posts that say "Read this before posting" or something like that, you would've known that discretion is key and it wasn't necessary to name a particular organization in order to get some advice. Also, If you knew as much as you think you know about the org you speak of you would know that your mom is one, not "was" one since membership is for life. Many members chose the organizations of their family members and many did not. Research all 4 of the NPHC sororities so you can make an informed decision. The decision is too important to simply do now and ask questions later and you certainly can't change your mind down the road. Bottom line: it's no big deal if you choose to pursue an organization other than your mother's. People do it all the time.

Oh and I only put was beacuse she hasnt been active since college.

knight_shadow · #7 05-30-2008, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Questions for the sorors out there

What is the whole rule of discrestion about? I didnt name people or anything but I wanted to know for future reference.

First off, you're not their soror.

Second, you need to practice discretion as far as naming the organization you're pursuing. You may not get invited to continue, and you never know who's reading this, so you need to take out the specific organization you're trying to pursue.

Your mom should have told you that...

taurus0426 · #8 05-30-2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

First off, you're not their soror.

Second, you need to practice discretion as far as naming the organization you're pursuing. You may not get invited to continue, and you never know who's reading this, so you need to take out the specific organization you're trying to pursue.

Your mom should have told you that...

Okay so you cant use soror either? I wasnt calling them MY sorors...but ok. I wish people werent being so rude to me about it I'm really searching for answers.

knight_shadow · #9 05-30-2008, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Okay so you cant use soror either? I wasnt calling them MY sorors...but ok. I wish people werent being so rude to me about it I'm really searching for answers.

Well, considering I'm not a member of a sorority, I can't think of an instance where I'd refer to someone as my "soror."

And none of the answers in this thread have been rude.

ETA: Good job editing your original post, though.

taurus0426 · #10 05-30-2008, 10:05 PM

Well it just sounded rude but this is the web so who knows? This is one of the hardest things I have had to decide since coming to college. I just hope I make the right choice. My other friend is going through the same crisis and so is my BF since he's not sure if he wants to pledge his dad's frat either.

Oh and sorry to any members of any group that may have been offended by my vocab. I've only begun to talk with my mom about the basics of sorority terms so I've got a lot to learn.

knight_shadow · #11 05-30-2008, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Well it just sounded rude but this is the web so who knows? This is one of the hardest things I have had to decide since coming to college. I just hope I make the right choice. My other friend is going through the same crisis and so is my BF since he's not sure if he wants to pledge his dad's frat either.

Oh and sorry to any members of any group that may have been offended by my vocab. I've only begun to talk with my mom about the basics of sorority terms so I've got a lot to learn.

You should remained focused on school. None of the NPHC organizations are going anywhere. If it doesn't happen during your college years, you can pursue your chosen organization after graduating.

taurus0426 · #12 05-30-2008, 10:16 PM

Yeah I'm starting to think that might be a good way to go...Membership will be there for life so it's not like I'll miss out. But I'll just wait and see come the fall

rhoyaltempest · #13 06-01-2008, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Yeah I'm starting to think that might be a good way to go...Membership will be there for life so it's not like I'll miss out. But I'll just wait and see come the fall

Stop focussing so much on being a legacy unless you want to follow in your mother's footsteps, which is not a bad thing IF you truly want to do that and feel that your mother's org is right for you. Also, a new legacy can always start with the org of your choice and your children's choices if they were to decide to follow in your footsteps. Otherwise, move on and research all the orgs and especially observe the groups on your campus but be discreet, meaning that you don't have to broadcast to everyone what org you are pursuing and eventually what choice you have made. There are many reasons for discretion, which you will learn for yourself if you decide to pursue any organization.

As far as what org fits your personality, don't pay much attention to stereotypes and hearsay. Make your own observations about the chapters at your school and the orgs as a whole. There is diversity in every org and contrary to what some non-greeks choose to believe, we are not carbon copies of one another. Many of us (including myself) have been met with surprise when certain non-greeks found out that we are greek or in a particular organization. This just goes to show that stereotypes are just that. As for the NPHC, I suggest that you observe the groups on your campus, visit their international websites, and start your research by reading the book "The Divine Nine" by Lawrence Ross (amazon.com). This will give you an overview and introduction to all the NPHC organizations.

Good Luck on your journey. It sounds like you have a lot of research to do.

PandaPi · #14 06-01-2008, 11:28 PM

And if you don't want to go NPHC, go NPC! Don't rule out the other 28 sororities that you could join!

I have a few friends who were NPHC legacies and chose NPC organizations, so don't feel like you have to choose one of the four. Depending on how big your campus is, there may be more NPC choices.

Best of luck and do what you feel is best for YOU not what your mom wants. But you know that already.

tld221 · #15 06-01-2008, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PandaPi

And if you don't want to go NPHC, go NPC! Don't rule out the other 28 sororities that you could join!

I have a few friends who were NPHC legacies and chose NPC organizations, so don't feel like you have to choose one of the four. Depending on how big your campus is, there may be more NPC choices.

Best of luck and do what you feel is best for YOU not what your mom wants. But you know that already.

did i miss something?