Pledging problem

[bing84]

I've recieved a bid for phi kappa psi fraternity, however the two other people that I would be pledging with are people that I would never hang out with in real life. A majority of the guys in the fraternity are alright, but alot of them are graduating this year. Any help or advice you guys could give would be great...I have till tuesday night to decide whether to take the bid of not

[Lindz928]

My advice:

It would be highly unlikely for you to get along with or even be good friends with EVERYONE in your chapter. There will almost always be a few people that just aren't your favorites.

I'm sure you rushed this house for a reason.... I would say if this is the fraternity that you connected with, then you should give it a shot. Don't let the fact that there are two guys who you don't like keep you from doing something that YOU want.

I hope my opinion helps.

[adpiucf]

First of all, congratulations on your bid.

Considerations in FAVOR of your accepting this bid:

1) The reality of getting a bid in a fraternity is that there are no guarantees. You may not like your pledge brothers, but guess what? There's no guarantee that those guys will make it to initiation. Or you, for that matter. Fraternities blackball new members if they don't see them as ones who fit in with the chapter. (The purpose of your fraternity new member period is as a trial to see if everyone made the best decision and to see how you and the chapter acclimate to one another while you learn the org's history, values and traditions.)

2) There will be additional recruiting opportunities throughout the year where you will help in having a say in the membership bids.

3) You can become involved as a leader and shape the chapter's membership and standing in the Greek Community.

4) You've known the other prospective pledges for 10 minutes. Maybe there is more to them than meets the eye. Why else would they be offered bids?


Considerations AGAINST your accepting this bid:
1) Are the only guys you connected with the seniors? Are there any underclassmen who you see yourself being friends with?

2) Is this a group you want to be associated with throughout the rest of college? Sure alumni opportunities will be important later on, but don't join the group with anticipation of a late future payoff. Is this a good group where you will have a good year?

3) Will you get to recruit more new members this year?

Talk to your parents and friends about this decision. Congrats again on the offer and good luck!

Remember, in any group, you're not going to be instant best friends or immediately connect with everyone. This is natural and the way of the world in any org, GLO or non. Even in the workplace. There could even be people who just dislike. That's ok. You'll find this in any GLO, workplace or org.

Good luck!

[TSteven]

Co-sign with the excellent advice posted above.

You said that you felt the majority of the guys are alright in this chapter. (And Phi Kappa Psi is an excellent fraternity.) A key thing about fraternities is that they can change dramatically semester to semester and/or year to year. That may be good, and it may be bad. But in this case, it sounds like you will still have that majority around. And as pointed out, there will be future rushes.

One other point. Are you in a situation where you can only accept *this* (one) particular bid? In other words, if you do not accept this bid, you can not accept a bid from any other chapter this semester? Also, are you allowed to receive more than one bid? Many campus IFCs allow more than one bid to be extended.

If there is another chapter that you clicked with during rush, and you truly feel there is a good possibility of receiving a bid from them, then you may want to check that possibility out ASAP. If rush is over, and no possibility of bids for the rest of the semester, you may want to wait until the following semester and rush again. Unlike sorority recruitment, fraternities normally do not hold it against you if you re-rush. Well, the chapter that you declined your bid might.

The bottom line is that you will need to go with your gut feelings here.

Best of luck.