Kids today!!

[blu_theatrics]

I'm sorry sorhors, but I have to vent.

My little sister is staying the summer with me and she is 13, now I remeber being 13 in my mothers home and I really do think she was a little over-protective (but I guess she was doing what she thought was right) so I decided that I would let my sister have a little more freedom then she does at home. I let her actually stay out side until 10:30 as long as she is somewere around my apartment complex and I actually let her stay out longer if she is in the front of the building or if she is in her friends house. I also let her have phone calls to 12:00.

Now, in my mothers house we were in the house by the time the street lights came on and phone calls were a priviledge after 9:00 (and that's only if she was awake)

The kids across the hall have no parental supervision it seems like, beacuse when I am going out to work at midnight they are still outside and when I go to the club or somethin and I am coming home at 3 or 4 they are still sitting in the front or in the hall (and they are basically my sisters age)

I am not going to back down off my rules because I think I am being lenient enough, but really have times changed that much and I just happen to be mothers child so I am acting as overprotective as she was to me?

I don't wnat her to be "punished" while others are out having fun, but I just don't believe a 13 year old should have any business outside late at night without direct adult supervision.

Can someone give me some constructive advise?

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It took three rough drafts to create a masterpiece....
Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Incorporated
Epsilon Chapter

[This message has been edited by blu_theatrics (edited June 26, 2001).]

[BlueReign]

Whoa!! Soror, you are giving her way too much freedom. I teach 12-13 year olds and believe me they are nothing like we were when we were coming up. The things that are out now -- the songs, the tv shows etc... were not in existence back then. Children have way too much garbage to fill their heads and they act out on this in one way or another. I may be old-fashioned but she needs to be in the bed at 10:30 school or not!! You may let her talk on the phone or watch tv at 10:30 but no outside at that hour. I wouldn't even let her get phone calls that late unless I can look at the caller id and see who it is. I don't know what time you go to bed but it would bother me for someone to call my house that late. And really what the hell they got to talk about that late anyway?

It's not being over protective but this world is a much more dangerous place than it was even 10 years ago and you would be responsible if something were to happen to your sister.

[blu_theatrics]

Thanks Soror,

That's what I am really scared of, I think back and I am like well if I was 13 then I would just be playing with my firends all day, but when I look around and see 13 year olds with babies, I'm like these are obviously a new breed of 13 year olds.

But anyhow, relunctenly I had to lay down my foot yeaterday and although I might have lost the friendship that I had with my sister, like my mothr always said, I would rather have a child that is mad at me than a child that is dead.

Yesterday, I just went off on all of her little friends. Ianswered the phone and said hello and the girl was just like "Jovetta there?" that's it no hello, no nothing, so I saidf hello again and she said "I said is Jovetta there?". I could not beleive how rude she was, so after I told her that when she calls my house she has to say hello or something she did apologize.

Then at about 6:00, my sister came in and asked me if she could go swimming, and when I opened the door, I smelled the sweet smell of a cigar and low and behold one of the kids were smoking. So I promptly pulled her in the house and told her that from now own when I go to work she will be going to my aunt's house (I have a 14 year old cousin ther for her to be with). I also told her that I want her to be in the house at least ever hour to tell me wher she is and she is to be in the house no later thatn 9:00 and to tell her friends to #1 have respect when they call her and #2 do not call after the time I have given her for them to call or she will loose all phone priviledges.

I know that she was not the one smoking and I know thta she wouldn't because she is always telling my mother not too, but that was my breaking point, really.

I don't want to have to send her back home for the summer, but it really is just the people we live around becaus eI have never had any problems out of my sister and really the only problem I do have is thta i don't like her friends, and on one hand I don't want to say that she is so influential that they will change her, but then again, ussually the good turn bad rather than the bad turning good.

I'm just going to pray on the situation though...sorry this was so long


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It took three rough drafts to create a masterpiece....
Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Incorporated
Epsilon Chapter

[This message has been edited by blu_theatrics (edited June 27, 2001).]

[BlueReign]

Keep it up Soror, you're doing the right thing. I have studied the middle-school aged child. They are still children. Actually they are going through their terrible twos again. You know how your 2 year old wants to be in your lap like a baby one minute and then want to do something that an older child would want and then have a tantrum when you say no? Same thing. A twelve year old is a child one minute and then they think they grown and you can't tell them nothing. I have advice for you that I can't share over this forum because I am writing a book. E-mail me.

[TRSimon]

Dear Sorhor,

You have the right idea, but I have to agree with the other soror on the late night phone calls. Kids really need structure, especially when they are around kids with none. It helps them to feel secure that they have someone who is willing to make them stay within the boundaries, although I know they don't express that. It also helps them set limits for themselves when they get older.

Your sister is really lucky. When I was a kid, back in the 80's (so I am not that old), I came up in the South, and we had to come in after the sun went down (which usually meant around 8:30-8:45pm in the summertime). Period. Sometimes I would get mad because I could hear the other kids still outside playing after I was sent to bed, but I am thankful now.

You sound like you are doing a great job, and your sister is blessed to have someone so concerned about her.

[RHOyal-Silence]

i realized just how much kids have changed when i was watching my class at recess one day.

i have a 3rd grade class. some students came running to me saying that one of their classmates said a "bad" word that started with the letter "h". i was thinking "hell" but when i asked the student what he said, he looked at me with big innocent eyes and said " i was only singing a song!"
i automatically knew what song he was singing....
"you's a hoe"

i don't really think he knew what "hoe" meant in the song, but i still hate to hear young children singing just any and everything!

[SweetestDiva]

I'm only 19 now, and when I was 12/13 my phone curfew was 10:30.. strictly enforced, unless I wanted my daddy to get on the phone and embarass the living mess out of me. As for a "going out" curfew, I don't remember because I rarely went out unless it was with some girlfriends, and somebody's parent was usually along. Curfew was always "whatever time is reasonable considering where you're going". At the time I thought the phone thing was ridiculous, but I'm glad my parents were strict on those things, because it made me appreciate the trust and freedom I got from them later on even more.

Off topic - I used to want to stay on the phone all night long (when I couldn't).. but now if I'm on the phone past 11:30, chances are that you will soon begin to hear me snore.

[blu_theatrics]

Thansk everyone for your help.

As of right now, my sister is on "lock-down" for the next two weeks though.

She can not step out the house and has no phone callls at all. I t really hurt me to have to do that, but I had to look at the alternative and I Love her to much to let things get out of hand, so we will look at the situation again in a few weeks and try to come up with a solution together, but I ask that all of you pray faor me that I can actually stick to my word and enforce this punishment.

I don't know why it is so hard for me to enfoprce things with her when I have no problem putting my 4 year old on punishment, but I guess that's because she is my sister and I wanted to be friends more than a gaurdian, but like I said before, I have to do what is right now

[skywalker20]

Kids today don't really know what it means to be a kid. They grow up way too fast. Someone e-mailed this piece to me the other day. Its by Paul Harvey. There is so much truth to it. Enjoy...

Paul Harvey Writes:
>We tried so hard to make things better for our kids
>that we made them worse.
>For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like
>for them to know about hand me down clothes and
>homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.
>I really would.
>I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and
>that you learn honesty by being cheated.
>I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn
>and wash the car.
>And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car
>when you are sixteen.
>It will be good if at least one time you can see
>puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
>I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you
>believe in, I hope you have to share a bedroom with
>your younger brother.
>And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the
>middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under
>the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you
>let him.
>When you want to see a movie and your little brother
>wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him.
>I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your
>friends and that you live in a town where you can do
>it safely.
>On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope
>you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away
>so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as
>your Mom.
>If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you
>how to make one instead of buying one.
>I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
>When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn
>to add and subtract in your head.
>I hope you get teased by your friends when you have
>your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to
>your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes
>like.
>May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your
>hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen
>flagpole.
>I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you
>don't like it.
>And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you
>realize he is not your friend.
>I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your
>Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
>May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the
>holidays.
>I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a
>baseball through your neighbor's window and that she
>hugs you and kisses you at
>Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of
>your hand.
>These things I wish for you -- tough times and
>disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's
>the only way to appreciate life.
>
>>Paul Harvey