Going Out...Please help me out.

[PrettySqueaky]

I want to throw this question out to different people. Last night I was talking to my good friend on the phone. We grew up together and everything. I moved away for school and now I'm back. Anyways growing up I was the tomboy and she was the one going out. And it's like now we're old she's the tomboy.

This is the question I want to throw. She's always saying she doesn't have anything to wear out. So she buys like levi's and t-shirt and tims. I buy like a nice skirt, knee or calf length leather boots and a nice tank top set or halter or something if we're going out.

This is the argument: she was saying I dress like a hoochie and I was saying she should dress more feminine. It's like we went to go see friends she wore tims, jeans, t-shirt. I wore a nice pair of jeans, tommy boots, and a backless halter.

I was trying to explain to her that she doesn't have to dress up for a guy's sake. But for her sake. Just for a change of pace.

You know get your hair done, little make-up. But she doesn't do all this. Now she buys nice stuff from the gap and like tommy and liz. But it's just not feminine enough.

She was saying that everyone has their own style. I said true. But if you're going out on a date you can't always wear tims and jeans. It's like he comes over with nice khakis and shirt and you have on jeans and tims. I know sometimes when I go out I can wear jeans and boots...but not Tims, maybe tommy or nine west. And I always try to wear a nice shirt to bring it out.

I'm sorry this is so longwinded but I just wanted some feedback on this.

Oh when last thing she said if guys don't like they way she dress they shouldn't be with her. I said that's true. But sometimes a guy would like to see you in something different.

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Why does this sound familiar? Oh I know why, because my sister and I are the same way. My sister dresses like a 70s throwback. She wears bellbottoms and tennis shoes everyday. She thinks that wearing makeup is stupid. She also thinks that matching colors in clothes is stupid. And getting her to wear skirts or dresses is like pulling teeth.

I on the other hand dress professionally most of the time. I almost never wear tennis shoes. I wear heels almost on a daily basis. I usually don't leave my house without make up. I thoroughly enjoy manicures and pedicures. And I have got the matching thing down to a science. Even my underwear matches my clothes every day.

Now I'm all for individuality and I try hard not to force my tastes on her. But there is a time and a place for everything. For instance, my sister is determined that it is okay to wear pants to church. It's not because she doesn't own any dresses, she just hates to dress up. Then she has the nerve to get mad when some people stare at her in the church. I understand that they aren't supposed to judge her, but I also feel that she brings it on herself by intentionally going against the grain.

Pretty Squeaky,

I am with you on this one. Certain situations call for certain attire. One wouldn't show up at their high school prom wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

My experience has been that most men like women who exude femininity. I haven't gotten ANY complaints for being overly feminine. If they want masculinity they can hang out with the fellas.

However, there are some men out there that like really casual women too. So I guess there are some men out there for your friend and my sister.

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"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige)

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 24, 2000).]

[BlueReign]

It all depends on the TIME AND PLACE. There are some places that won't let you in wearing jeans and TIMS. (especially on a Saturday night) It depends on where you want to hang out.

[PrettySqueaky]

Originally posted by BlueReign:
It all depends on the TIME AND PLACE. There are some places that won't let you in wearing jeans and TIMS. (especially on a Saturday night) It depends on where you want to hang out.

Well what if you are going out with a guy. I mean that can take on a whole different take. For example, she says that Black people don't date. I say we do. It's just depend on what type of guy you have. If he's older and mature he'll talk you out and it's not about the butt. But she doesn't believe that either.

I'm sorry that was off subject. But what do you think about her wearing tims and jeans out on a date. Like a nice restaurant.

Even I'm chilling in the house and I'm with the special someone I'll try to wear something nice if it's jean I'll have on a nice top to offset the jeans. Eventually I'll put on my scarf and nightgown. But still. She starts out on how you end up. Do you get what I'm saying.

[PrettySqueaky]

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:


Now I'm all for individuality and I try hard not to force my tastes on her. But there is a time and a place for everything. However, there are some men out there that like really casual women too. So I guess there are some men out there for your friend and my sister.

But do you ever get in arguments about what they're wearing? We usually don't but we did that night.

But yeah I'm like a cross between your sister, my friend and you. I always wear bell bottoms but I wear sandals even in the winter. But to work I'll wear like a nice pant suit or dress pants and jacket (you know mix n match sets like Guess or Calvin Klein) but to the club depending on the club I try to go all out.

But no matter what she's always tims and jeans.

And as far as the men go. I do know some guys that were like when I met you...You wore this and that. I'm like I'm home now everyone knows I'm famous for wearing my black or navy scarf.

[PrettySqueaky]

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:
I haven't heard the word tims before. I assume that is short for Timberland boots??

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 25, 2000).]

Yup tims is short for timberland. Now I know there are some real cute tims like the shoes but they're so hard to find. I'm talking about the rugged tims like construction workers would wear.

It's like I've tried to be nice and offer other suggestions but she doesn't want to hear that. Any advice besides just letting it go.

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Originally posted by PrettySqueaky:
But do you ever get in arguments about what they're wearing? We usually don't but we did that night.

We used to argue about what she wore when she was living with me. But now that she has her own place (Yeeaahh!!) I don't really care about what she wears anymore. We rarely go anywhere together.

I haven't heard the word tims before. I assume that is short for Timberland boots?? Please correct me if I am wrong. (I must be getting old ). But if that is correct, No I would not wear jeans and tims to a nice restaurant. And BlueReign is correct. Some clubs won't even let you in dressed like that.


[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 25, 2000).]