Should I try again?

[CancerGrly785]

Hi, I have been reading these posts from girls who go through recruitment and have stellar personal attributes/grades...and did not receive a bid for whatever reason (that is not their fault). I am not one of those girls. I go to a southern school which is VERY small (an average freshman class is about 500 people, and an average undergrad class is about 2,600) and that has a very small, but active Greek community (5 NPC, and 3 NPHC organizations). Anyway, last fall, as a freshmen (after taking summer classes, which I did not take seriously) I had a GPA of 2.0. During rush I became phony. In short I tried to be what I thought they wanted. In the entire process, myself and I believe one other girl did not get an invite from ANY sororities (despite knowing people, and having great convo's with some girls). A couple of weeks later I COB'ed with a sorority I was fairly interested in (looking back, I would ask, "oh so are you doing COB?" Irritating? I know), but I did not get a bid (I never asked her straight out, I merely said, "oh so who got in from the COB?"). The question is should I go through the process again? I thought it would be best to wait and raise my grades more, but I am not sure. As of now I have had two semesters where I have had a GPA of 3.0 or higher (current GPA is 2.57 (rounded up 2.6), while holding a 25-35 hour/week job (in Spring '05 I held two jobs), and mentoring a high school student. In my past I have interned with a prominent radio station in Alabama, been on Who's Who of American High School Students, been in my HS choir/band, been a member of a local church, and their choir, been in Yearbook, and member of Habitat for Humanity. My cumulative High school GPA was about 2.6 (with semesters that had awful grades partly due to a 6 year battle with depression, which even plagued me as recent as December of '04), and my ACT score was 24. Basically what I am trying to ask is this, I recognize I did all the wrong things, and went about the entire process wrong. But now I want to be in a sorority for the right reasons. The social life would be great, but I really want the relationships that last past college. Should I even try again? To be honest I am still embarrassed that I did not get a invite from any sororities last year. What should I do?

Thank You

Sorry this is SOOOO long!

[UKDaisy]

Since your grades are higher and your mindset is different - I say go for it. BUT -- be ready for possibly the same outcome. Which trust me, I know is devasting.

But there is a pretty good difference in your GPA, which I think will make a difference. Especially if your also still doing well, or did summer school, etc.

Good luck... try not to stress too much! I"m getting ready to pm you, so check your mail box.

[trojangal]

Check your pm box.

[kddani]

The most important thing was to get your grades up, and you've started to do that. While they're higher, depending on the group, it still may not meet their minimum for a new member. Some may require 2.75 or 3.0.

For your own sake, I would encourage you to try to get them up even more, regardless of whether or not you join a sorority. A low GPA will hurt you a lot in looking for a job and/or getting admitted into grad school.

Since you've been in school for awhile now, I don't really think anyone will care what you did in HS (well unless you did something really bad like kill someone's cat or something). So there's no real need to bank on that. No one in college is really going to care That's one of the great things about college, you sorta get to start a new slate.

I have to ask WHY you want to be greek? Why is it important to you? I think that's an important question for you yourself to know the answer to before you make any decisions. Doing it for the social life isn't really the best reason. YOu don't have to answer, it's more of a rhetorical thing that you should think about.

Also, how are you going to be able to devote the time to being greek if you're working 25-35 hours a week, taking classes, tutoring, etc? That's gonna be a question that a sorority would ask itself about you. Is this girl going to be able to do much for us?

And at some schools, if a group has cut you before, it's very likely that they will cut you again. Especially if you had been fake the first time around. If anything, be pretty open and up front about your mistakes.

[CancerGrly785]

"I have to ask WHY you want to be greek? Why is it important to you?" -KDDani

II don't mind answering your (rhetorical) question. I want to be in a sorority because of the sisterhood that I never had (I had a sister that is 14 yrs older, so you can see it was pretty much my mom and I), the tutoring and grades aspect (I want to earn above a 3.0 before the end of this year), the networking opportunities that will be gained in the future, and the friendships that last past college (in HS I never stayed at a school for longer than about two years, so I never really kept friends).

But I do agree with you on maybe I have too many time commitments, but my job is the type that can be altered to my changing schedule. So that is no problem. But I understand you saying they probably would not choose me again, and added to that the inherent fakeness I had last year. But not to whip a dead horse, would recommendations be any different? I mainly wanted to try again because every aspect of me has changed in so many ways, but I did not know if recruitment was the way to go. Especially since out of all the sororities one stands out (to me).

Now I am not confused, I just don't know what to do, next year I (might be) transferring to a larger school (that is not in the south).
I think I am considering raising my grades more, and just taking the time to see if in the Spring I still want to do it. hate to be indecisive, but I really don't know.

Thank You for the kind replies

[smiley21]

I think recommendations are a good idea. I mean, what can it hurt to have them? I am thinking about the part you said with being 'phony'. Honestly, there is a chance that it could come back to bite you. Girls could have noticed the phony behavior and labeled you as 'that girl'. I think that you should explain your situation to someone who could write a rec for you.
That is only one part. The other is the grades. My school is very similar to yours in terms of enrollment and number of greek orgs. I know that a GPA of 2.6 could only make you eligible for only some of the orgs. Maybe that is no big deal. There could be a couple of sororities that see your grades as sufficient and really like you. My point is that you should go through recruitment. No one can stop you from doing that. But you should definitely be realistic about what could happen in the end.

I can give you more advice about this. I have been in pretty much the same shoes as you, so I definitely know how you feel. Good luck!!!

[whittleschmeg]

Smiley 21 I think hit it on the nose, when she had mentioned that by being phony you could have been labled. One thing about being in a sisterhood is that everyone is different. I can tell you from personal experience its better to be yourself and play your odds you may get lucky.

Also references are a good thing and getting to know the girls in the fall prior to spring recruitment will help you alot, befriend them and mention you are planning on going through again, when they get to know the real you I am sure you will be fine.

Goodluck with any decisions you make just make the one you know you will be happy with because ultimatley thats the most important.

[KSUViolet06]

I say raise your grades and give it another try this fall. But do keep in mind that with the size of your Greek system, you could very well be remembered as "that girl from last year" and be cut again. So long as you are realistic about the circumstances, there's no reason you shouldn't try again.

[CancerGrly785]

The sorority that stood out to me had girls that I ended up working with, in fact my (former) manager is also one of the girls from that particular sorority. But is there no chance the girls don't remember? But about my grades, they will be raised regardless or not I get into (or pursue) a sorority. I do want to graduate with above a 3.0 (I want to go to medical school). But anyway thank you all for the great suggestions.

[twhrider13]

I go to a rather small school in the South as well, so I thought that I might be able to help you out here. What everyone has told you here is the truth, but I'm going to add a thing or two.

As far as sororities' remembering you from last year: On my campus, maybe 100 girls go through recruitment every year. The only girl I truly remember (other than our own girls, of course) is the one girl who was incredibly rude to me. I vaguely remember some faces, but that's about it. I'm sure other people have better memories than me, but unless you left a seriously bad taste in someone's mouth, I kind of doubt you'll be remembered as "that girl." On the other hand, you might have been dropped from the sororities because you were considered a grade risk. (I know that none of us know for certain why ANYONE was dropped, but I'm just speculating here.) If they do remember dropping you as a grade risk, their seeing your academic improvement is probably going to cast a more favorable light on you, IMHO.

Also, recs are a good thing. If you feel like you have a different outlook on things this year, I would say take the chance. I'm not going to tell you, "Oh, the sororities will absolutely love you and beat down your door to have you as a member," but I would think that if you're remembered at all, they would notice the improvements, both grades- and personality-wise, and consider them. Just my $.02!

[CancerGrly785]

I thought that about that, (the concept of remembering the girls) because I barely remember the a lot of the girls. I only do because I work at a place where you may see most of them or because I ended up getting to know some of them. In fact the girls that were actually in my group I don't even remember most of them. I myself don't remember people unless they make a huge impression on me, and I don't think I did (despite being phony) to them. The only way I think I would make an impression is because I am bi-racial (Black and Hispanic) and there were a handful of other minority girls (in fact I only remember one Asian girl in my group, and another African-American girl in another group), besides those two girls everyone else I really can't remember.

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[honeychile]

On a campus that small, with a Greek population that small, the chances are good that you will, unfortunately, be remembered. This is going to be a character-building exercise for you, but I would grab the bull by the horns and say something such as, "Yes, I rushed last year. I was a naive, silly freshman, and I wish I could take the entire term back."

One of the most valuable lessons in life that many, many people never learn is how to admit that you were wrong gracefully.

The fact that you came here to ask questions makes me think that you DO have the character it takes - but please bear in mind that part of that character-building can be getting rejected.

I wish you all the best, whether you decide to rush or not!

[LightBulb]

Originally posted by honeychile
On a campus that small, with a Greek population that small, the chances are good that you will, unfortunately, be remembered. This is going to be a character-building exercise for you, but I would grab the bull by the horns and say something such as, "Yes, I rushed last year. I was a naive, silly freshman, and I wish I could take the entire term back."

One of the most valuable lessons in life that many, many people never learn is how to admit that you were wrong gracefully.

The fact that you came here to ask questions makes me think that you DO have the character it takes - but please bear in mind that part of that character-building can be getting rejected.

I wish you all the best, whether you decide to rush or not!

Well said.

I imagine that you would be remembered as well, though not by all. If you act natural, friendly, and polite (coupled with your GPA improvement), you will probably be seen as more mature and be given a second chance. Show the sorority members that you are willing to work hard - get the recs, become involved with more campus activities (I'm assuming most of those were from high school) and leadership positions, and try again.

[twhrider13]

Originally posted by LightBulb
Well said.

I imagine that you would be remembered as well, though not by all. If you act natural, friendly, and polite (coupled with your GPA improvement), you will probably be seen as more mature and be given a second chance. Show the sorority members that you are willing to work hard - get the recs, become involved with more campus activities (I'm assuming most of those were from high school) and leadership positions, and try again.

This is basically what I was trying to say, but I couldn't figure out how to word it. Thanks!

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by CancerGrly785
Should I even try again? To be honest I am still embarrassed that I did not get a invite from any sororities last year. What should I do?

You have a low HS and College GPA, and you're over-extended with a job, full-time school and volunteer-work. You also have been through one formal recruitment and one informal recruitment without a bid. Despite a strong ACT and good activities on your resume, you have battled depression for 6 years without indicating if you are being successfully treated.

My honest opinion is that you should not re-rush the NPC sororities. You have already gone through the process twice and your GPA is low. Coupled with your work hours and full time school, the time committments and social pressures of a sorority -- all these factors could create a lot of extra stress, causing you to fall back into depression.

I recommend you investigate other campus activities, including a co-ed Greek Letter service organization or pre-professional society. You will enjoy a social atmosphere, Greek letter ties and national network. Or look into getting involved with an all-campus event like planning Homecoming, being an RA or the Dance Marathon.

Good luck!