Gentlemen, talk about your masturbation stories in here

[Rudey]

Now remember, no joking. This is serious talk.

Who will be the first to post their story of pride in solitude?

Who will share their intimate details with the world and hope for acceptance?

-Rudey
--Step forth, Rob!

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by Rudey
-Rudey
--Step forth, Rob!

I'll step into the box - in a non-descript time, and a non-descript place, I stayed with an ex-girlfriend under much duress and crying about her wanting me to 'not hate her' . . . well, I'm thinking I might get laid out of the deal, so I reluctantly agree. She, of course, being the exact same human being I've known my whole life, gets super pissed at absolutely nothing and decides to be a passive/aggressive douche all weekend.

Needless to say, the last thing I wanted to do was her.

So after a particularly brutal argument, she has to run to work one morning - I wake up massively drunk, and decide that if I'm going to have to burn a bridge, I might as well do it on my terms. The next part will be glossed over, but it essentially goes something like:

download hardcore porn ---> do what I need to do ---> leave porn on desktop so she can enjoy as well ---> pack up my stuff ---> leave ---> tell my buddies what happened ---> victory

-RC
--it's not nearly as gross as it sounds, i 'kept it to myself' and kept it clean . . . I probably shouldn't post this

[Rudey]

Originally posted by KSig RC
I'll step into the box - in a non-descript time, and a non-descript place, I stayed with an ex-girlfriend under much duress and crying about her wanting me to 'not hate her' . . . well, I'm thinking I might get laid out of the deal, so I reluctantly agree. She, of course, being the exact same human being I've known my whole life, gets super pissed at absolutely nothing and decides to be a passive/aggressive douche all weekend.

Needless to say, the last thing I wanted to do was her.

So after a particularly brutal argument, she has to run to work one morning - I wake up massively drunk, and decide that if I'm going to have to burn a bridge, I might as well do it on my terms. The next part will be glossed over, but it essentially goes something like:

download hardcore porn ---> do what I need to do ---> leave porn on desktop so she can enjoy as well ---> pack up my stuff ---> leave ---> tell my buddies what happened ---> victory

-RC
--it's not nearly as gross as it sounds, i 'kept it to myself' and kept it clean . . . I probably shouldn't post this

And you posted about it on Greekchat. That's the best part. The part where you posted your masturbation stories on Greekchat. They didn't involve dildos, cucumbers and hot dogs though!

-Rudey

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by Rudey
And you posted about it on Greekchat. That's the best part. The part where you posted your masturbation stories on Greekchat. They didn't involve dildos, cucumbers and hot dogs though!

hahahaha - i'd do it again

If I had more than one story, I'd tell that one too.

Why's everyone so uptight around here? Jesus guys, its' not even recruitment yaaaaaay

[Optimist Prime]

okay since you shared so will I-

I was 13, and was supposed to score, but her brother walked in and ruined everything. I went home and cranked it so hard that it bled. Some one else post now, I don't want to be the last one to talk.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Originally posted by KSig RC
Why's everyone so uptight around here? Jesus guys, its' not even recruitment yaaaaaay

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


awesome.

[James]

Damn, I saw hotdamn's name as the last post and got all excited: I thought she was sharing her masturbation experiences . . . otherwise I have been avoiding this thread like the plague

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


awesome.

[MaMaBuddha]

this thread was viewed 254 times and only 2 people posted masturbation stories???

wtf!?!?

awwwwww... c'mon!!!!


i swear you guys better make this interesting.



-----------------------

for some reason....i can't wait to hear rudey's, cashmoney's and moe.ron's

[James]

Well.

And well.

There is nothing really sexy about a man masturbating.

We don't have elaborate fantasies. There are no toys that we generally use. Its generally quick.

I am not sure that the thought of a man stroking his meat to a Girls Gone Wild Video is going to stimulate women.

LAdies, does the mental image of a man masturbating turn you women on?

Mental images of women doing it certainly turn men on.

Originally posted by MaMaBuddha
this thread was viewed 254 times and only 2 people posted masturbation stories???

wtf!?!?

awwwwww... c'mon!!!!


i swear you guys better make this interesting.



-----------------------

for some reason....i can't wait to hear rudey's, cashmoney's and moe.ron's

[UKTriDelt]

Originally posted by James

LAdies, does the mental image of a man masturbating turn you women on?

Mental images of women doing it certainly turn men on.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's all I have to say about that.

[madmax]

I stopped at my parents house. There was a copy of magazine on the coffee table. Nobody was home at the time and I was bored. I took the magazine into the bedroom and started to pleasure myself. After a few minutes my mother came home and she screamed "maaax, what are you doing?" She started to faint so I had a choice, either catch her or zip up. I couldn't exactly help her in my condition so I decided to zip up. She ended up falling and had to go to the hospital. Anyhow, I am never doing thaat again.

[ADqtPiMel]

Hokay, so.

This one time, a guy with his arm in a cast bought me a drink and then I asked him about the cast and he said he broke his arm jerking it in the shower.

[preciousjeni]

I think we need to boycott this sexist thread. Why can't you ask the women for THEIR stories Rudey??

[MaMaBuddha]

i would have that this thread would have reached 15 posts by now...

[Rudey]

Originally posted by preciousjeni
I think we need to boycott this sexist thread. Why can't you ask the women for THEIR stories Rudey??

There are numerous threads with discussions by chicks on GC about how they rub their beans.

-Rudey