terminated

[greek4me]

Dear Phi Sig sisters on Greekchat:

I just wanted to say goodbye to you. I have been force to terminate my membership for the worst reason possible. I once loved Phi Sigma Sigma and thought it was different, but i was wrong. When sisters need help you donn't turn your back on them do you? Well that is what happen to me form BOTH my chapter and all the National Personnel i have talked to or tried to talk too. I did soo much for the chapter and i feel as though i was used and then thrown away. I could be wrong, but i don't think so. I mean you don't tell a women who has suffered from a chronic disorder and needs a break to force on getting her degree so she will not have to be in school for more then 8 years that National personnel does not understand why this disorder will effect me in the way of membership. I'm sorry but when you have to spend two hours on the phone with a national personnel telling them about your disorder and how the stress of being an active member causes me to get sick. I cried after that phone call because i knew that the DCP still did not understand or honestly care or even seemed to show any compassion to me. When i was called to J-board about the situation at hand. It was apparent that the sisters, even the ones i had talked to abotu the situation did not understnad the fact that when asked for a break, i meant a break this semester, so i could keep my sanity and keep my grades. They gave me two choices for next year -- Terminate ( which many in the room made clear they wanted) or be a ACTIVe sister. I'm sorry but i am 24 years old and i finishin up two very difficult degrees and trying to keep my illness in balance. Next year will be Very hard because i will have 21 credits in the fall semester and will be doing an internship in the spring plus classes. I will be in several different exhibits for my art next year and i need to concentrate on getting my name out in the art world so i will have a job when i gradaute. I do not have the time to play games and sing silly chants and honestly waste my time ( PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THE WRONG WAY!!!) There is such an age difference in my sorority too with me and the other girls. the oldest without me in 3 years younger! that is a Big difference in maturity levels.
It's sad too because i loved Phi Sigma and i Loved everything it stands for, but this chapter does not understand it nor do i think they care.

I will miss calling all of you my sisters, but i can not be in a sorority that does not support it's members academicly and mentally.

Yours truely
Binks

[Glitter650]

I am very sorry that you feel this way... I don't understand why your J board wouldn't let you take chapter status ?? If you haven't done it for a semester already you should have the chance. Maybe you could try writing to national and asking for alumnae status I know with extenuating circumstances such as illness and such they will often grant sisters alum status even though they have not finsihed their degrees yet, although I think having the support of the chapter would hel[p... you could talk to Ali about that , she might have some good advice I am one of the older woman in my chapter so I know what you are talking about in that sense... but I don't think that it is wasing your time per se... I mean we do other things besides chant and you know that. I don't think this should be the end of your membership if you truly don't want it to be... talk to somemore people and see what it gets you.. get notes from your Dr if you need to stating your medical problems, dont lose heart, because, honestly it seems to me you have some more avenues you could explore.

[SapphireSweetie]

You know, I'd have to agree with Binks... there are certain Phi Sigs who don't seem to have their traditions, their sense of respect, or their sense of decency available to them. Unfortunately, (not to put down all EBoard members) but most of them hold prominent positions in the sorority. It's hard to have been a Phi Sig from freshman year of SP '00 and leave at the end of my senior year all because of miscommunication and basically some BS. On top of it all, it was done in the most PUBLICLY humiliating manner that would cause even the strong to break down. It's hard be walk around the campus (as I have a semester left) and face all those people that I once called sisters completely ignoring your presence or just refusing to claim you as once being part of their organization. It's also wierd to see the uncomfortable stares, the wierd glances, the whispers, etc. that arise when I get in their presence-- it's like I'm a parriah and there's nothing I can do about it as hey, someone seemed to pass the word on that I'm out to "get all Phi Sigs" on this chapter (which is why if you notice, I have deleted the chapter I was in so as to eliminate any basis of that accusation). And yes, I do feel for Binks in terms of National, as they simply seem to be concerned with numbers. Quality doesn't seem to count anymore, sisterhood doesn't seem to count anymore, as they sit there and push to get quota, but don't provide the proper materials or support to accomplish this. On top of that, making reflections short and restructuring the whole system so as to have discovery mad early defeats the idea of bonds to me, as you barely know those prospies and you're pairing them with sisters who are going to make a profound influence in their sororital (i know i made it up) life. I think that before any more prospies are recruited, National needs to get their ish together first, and work to getting chapters to cooperate with their advisors if they really want to rebuild the pyramid successfully.

Originally posted by greek4me
Dear Phi Sig sisters on Greekchat:

I just wanted to say goodbye to you. I have been force to terminate my membership for the worst reason possible. I once loved Phi Sigma Sigma and thought it was different, but i was wrong. When sisters need help you donn't turn your back on them do you? Well that is what happen to me form BOTH my chapter and all the National Personnel i have talked to or tried to talk too. I did soo much for the chapter and i feel as though i was used and then thrown away. I could be wrong, but i don't think so. I mean you don't tell a women who has suffered from a chronic disorder and needs a break to force on getting her degree so she will not have to be in school for more then 8 years that National personnel does not understand why this disorder will effect me in the way of membership. I'm sorry but when you have to spend two hours on the phone with a national personnel telling them about your disorder and how the stress of being an active member causes me to get sick. I cried after that phone call because i knew that the DCP still did not understand or honestly care or even seemed to show any compassion to me. When i was called to J-board about the situation at hand. It was apparent that the sisters, even the ones i had talked to abotu the situation did not understnad the fact that when asked for a break, i meant a break this semester, so i could keep my sanity and keep my grades. They gave me two choices for next year -- Terminate ( which many in the room made clear they wanted) or be a ACTIVe sister. I'm sorry but i am 24 years old and i finishin up two very difficult degrees and trying to keep my illness in balance. Next year will be Very hard because i will have 21 credits in the fall semester and will be doing an internship in the spring plus classes. I will be in several different exhibits for my art next year and i need to concentrate on getting my name out in the art world so i will have a job when i gradaute. I do not have the time to play games and sing silly chants and honestly waste my time ( PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THE WRONG WAY!!!) There is such an age difference in my sorority too with me and the other girls. the oldest without me in 3 years younger! that is a Big difference in maturity levels.
It's sad too because i loved Phi Sigma and i Loved everything it stands for, but this chapter does not understand it nor do i think they care.

I will miss calling all of you my sisters, but i can not be in a sorority that does not support it's members academicly and mentally.

Yours truely
Binks

[pirepresent]

This is a really hard topic, and Binks, I am so so sorry about everything.

But guys, please lets not turn this into an attack on National. It's a terrible thing that the DCP and Bink's chapter sisters did not understand the brevity of the situation. Just so sad. But I promise you all that National is doing the best they can do manage everything with the resources that they have. And I can also guarantee that it's not just about numbers. YES, numbers are an integral part of being competitive, but we're also very focused on quality. We want Phi Sig to be a top chapter on EVERY campus.

And they are working as hard as they can to help the chapters make quota and total. As much as you may complain about what is out there now, the Vision program has been a great tool that has been an integral part of chapter success. Creating programs like this cost money, and resources. They are all doing the best they can to be the best organization they can be and provide the best services to our members.

If you love Phi Sig as much as I do, OR if you think it should be changed the way I did, then I urge all of you to support our National organization. Don't just say "they need to get their 'ish' together" -- help them do it!! there is plenty of 'ish' that you can help with, and there are plenty of ways to support National - start an alumnae association when you graduate, make a donation, volunteer for a committee. If you have skills in a particular area, or you're interested in a certain area, PM me and I can most certainly point you in the right direction. Getting involved after college was over has totally changed my perspective on what is going on at the national level. They truly truly are working miracles over there at CO, considering what they have to work with.

Change doesn't happen overnight. Please understand that every group experiences some "growing pains". I know it's easy to believe that the women at the National Level are just sitting around, preaching "quota, quota, quota" and shutting chapters down all over the place... this is NOT the case. Every struggling chapter breaks the hearts of these women. Every time a sister has a bad experience with the same Phi Sigma that they love so deeply hurts them.

In the future, I'll respectfully ask that there not be anymore National bashing on these boards. They are humans, just like the rest of us, and they make mistakes. If you wanna talk more about issues or problems you may have, please feel free to PM me or email me - I'd love to talk to you about them.

Binks, I am so so so sorry again about what happened to you, and it breaks my heart. No matter what your official status, you are still a sister to all of us.

[White_Chocolate]

Actually, our chapter was struggling for a few years to get numbers. When they revamped VISIONS and REFLECTIONS, our archon who went to the convention decided to run for the SDC office and basically sat down everyone and taught us what she learned at Convention.

To make the long story short, our chapter doubled in size as of October 1. . .and we're 10 members short of reaching total. And the really cool thing about these new girls is that they may not understand why or how things are done but they want to learn because they realize that Phi Sig is great.

Of course, we have our issues but don't say that people have stopped looking for quality because every single member has the potential to be a quality member. They just need a push in the right direction. Inclusiveness, inclusiveness, inclusiveness.

By the way, if you decide to write extra sentences on your 'request for status change' form besides just checking a box or do not submit a doctor's explanation, they probably won't let you go alumnae. However, I can't believe that they wouldn't suggest to you what to do.

[greek4me]

Dear Phi sig sisters --

It's Binks! i just was able to read the replies that were sent and i want to give everyone a update on what is going on in my life.

I have been terminated from my chapter, the papers went in this summer. This is fine with me. Yes, i miss wearing my hard letters cause of my sisters in other chapters and what the founders based the sorority on. I have give most of my stuff up, but i have kept some stuff. Like the bid day shirt i designed and the chapter letters that i got the whole chapter to get. and my paddles from my big sis and one of my littles.

I do have problems with some of my ex-sisters but i think that is normal in situations like this. I mean, i am still very known in the greek community cause i have lots of friends that are still greek. So i go to fraternity parties once in a blue moon with friends and sometimes ex-sisters and i will have arguments over something stupid that they start. i just blow it off normally and walk away.

BUT i am VERY HAPPY! I joined the rugby team at our school and these girls are awesome! i was friends with a lots of the guy ruggers last year and i meet the girl team through them and decided at the end of the summer to join and it was the BEST decision i have made. My family and my close friends see such a difference in me from last year. my self esteem and self image has increased soo much, especially since i am not dealing with sorority BS. ( Please don't take that the wrong way, was not meant to offend) We are very much like sisters from a sorority, except we don't have secret rituals. I mean, we practice together and workout together. We have team dinners every thursday. We study together. We volunteer together.( i volunteer more with the team then with the sorority) We party together every weekend. we have theme parties with the guys. We have other organizations that want to do stuff and come support us at games. AND these Girls are very supportive of me in every ascept of life and the game. I'm not a good runner and i was the last to finish our run and everyone was cheering me on and it was the best feeling to have that support. ALSO, this is what meant the most to me --- the doctor's thought i had the beginning of cervical cancer about two months ago, and i was not able to get bilopsy for a month and i was a wreck, they were soo supportive! LUCKLY it was nothing, they think the meds i take for my disorder just changed my cell growth or somethign like that.'

I'm talking to a guy right now. And i probably would not meant him if i didn't play rugby!

Life is really busy for me But it goign well! and i am the happiest i have been since transferred schools!

Always yours,
Binks

P.S -- good luck with your recruitment and your school year

[SapphireSphinx9]

Thank you Binks for letting us know what's going on in your situation. Although I'm sadened by the outcome with Phi Sig, I am SOO happy that you are doing better. (this is seriously the first time that I started to cry reading a post on GC) I hope that even though you are no longer a member, that you still feel welcomed, and that you live up to our motto: diwkete uyhla

Much love~Beth

[annice22]

I hope everything works out for you. Sometimes it seems like bad things happen to good people. You have devoted a lot of time to Phi Sigma Sigma and your sorority should want to help you find a solution to your situation.

You please take good care of yourself. Please know that you always contact one of gcers for updates about yourself.

[CAREPHISIG]

by the way, i think national needs to get more involved in issues especially to help CKA's with mental disorders.. etc. Sometimes you do have sisters that have a disorder that noone knows about & they don't have anyone they can share it with & feelings they have. As a Psych graduate, all I can do is tell sisters that I am around for them. It is up to them to get help, and some just drop out b/c of problems emotionally, or whatever. It's sad to see this happen & also sisters that gang up on others because of their disorder... oh, by the way, I know this section is really old, but i've told our chapter like 12132132132132 times to shut up & stop talking about other sisters, and I think they just don't get it. ........ hmm... any ideas? thanks!!!

[whittleschmeg]

When putting a large amount of girls together in closed quarters it is inevitable you will fight and disagree. The important thing is that we all respect eachother as sisters each person earned the letters they are priveledged to wear across their chest. Just make sure to always keep that in mind.....