help?

lisap34 · #1 12-05-2004, 06:17 PM

I am an out of state student at a very large university. I had a great rush but on bid day recieved my second choice. Well I have tried all semester and I know that it is not for me. I made the mistake of pledging, and I am now thinking of transfering to another school, but one that I want to go to does not have my sorority. am really lost and have no idea what to do, any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

hoosier · #2 12-05-2004, 06:31 PM

It's your choice.

You have to start making your decisions, changing your mind if appropriate, and running your life.

We can't tell you what to do.

I don't know if you have been just a pledge, or have been initiated.

#3 12-05-2004, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lisap34
I am an out of state student at a very large university. I had a great rush but on bid day recieved my second choice. Well I have tried all semester and I know that it is not for me. I made the mistake of pledging, and I am now thinking of transfering to another school, but one that I want to go to does not have my sorority. am really lost and have no idea what to do, any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

Even if your new campus had your first choice sorority, there's no guarantee that you'd find your home there, considering that each chapter is different.

Letters and the name don't define a sorority's sisterhood. Sisters define the sorority's sisterhood.

James · #4 12-05-2004, 06:44 PM

If you are definitely going to transfer and there is a Greek system there, don't initiate. It precludes you joining there.

When would you transfer? If you are going to be at your school for another year, you might as well initiate.

Also, assuming your group is decent sized there should be some people you can bond with or be friendly with, if there is not, then the problem is probaby more you than them.

You can seek therapy in that case or medication to bring your stress levels down. If you control your stress and anxiety you will find it easier to make friends.

This is actually well intentioned advice.

Quote:

Originally posted by lisap34
I am an out of state student at a very large university. I had a great rush but on bid day recieved my second choice. Well I have tried all semester and I know that it is not for me. I made the mistake of pledging, and I am now thinking of transfering to another school, but one that I want to go to does not have my sorority. am really lost and have no idea what to do, any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

33girl · #5 12-05-2004, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lisap34
I am an out of state student at a very large university. I had a great rush but on bid day recieved my second choice. Well I have tried all semester and I know that it is not for me. I made the mistake of pledging, and I am now thinking of transfering to another school, but one that I want to go to does not have my sorority. am really lost and have no idea what to do, any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

Have you been fully initiated?

Your options are much different if you have already been initiated than if you have completed your pledging process...until you clarifity it's impossible to help you out.

Tippiechick · #6 12-05-2004, 07:55 PM

I am confused. You don't want to be a member where you are. But, you wish that the school you have in mind has a chapter. So, are you saying that your sisters in one chapter aren't for you, but that those in another chapter would be better?

Like OTW said, sisters define their sisterhood. Your experience is what YOU make of it.

If you are initiated, there is absolutely NO guarantee (to my knowledge) that another chapter would accept you as a member. You might even end up not being accepted and be forced to become an alumna. So, just transferring is not the answer IMO.

You made a commitment to your sorority if you were initiated. You should look at the reasons why you don't think that chapter is for you.

My mama always told me to take my lemons and make sweet tea. It might not be what I had in mind, but it will be just as sweet.

KSUViolet06 · #7 12-05-2004, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tippiechick
If you are initiated, there is absolutely NO guarantee (to my knowledge) that another chapter would accept you as a member. You might even end up not being accepted and be forced to become an alumna.

Just as a note- you may want to check with your sororities' policies on this, it varies from group to group.

James · #8 12-05-2004, 10:58 PM

Her sorority is NOT represented at her transfer school.

lisap34 · #9 12-06-2004, 03:46 AM

Sorry I was not more specific
I am at a very large school, that I am not thrilled with, and I had a great rush but a bad bid day. My sorority is just not me and I dont know anyone else here. I want to transfer to another school a much smaller school... but they dont have my chapter that there school and I have been initated. I cant stay at the school that I am at right now... it is not working. So I want to transfer but do not know what to do. If I transfer to this school I believe that I will not be able to be in a sorority there, is that right??? which once again will make it hard to meet people or develop a social life there.

Jill1228 · #10 12-06-2004, 04:43 AM

You have gotten some great advice...especially from Tippiechick and OTW

I put part of your post in italics....once you are initiated you cannot join another sorority (I am guessing that you are a member of an NPC sorority)

Ladies (and fellas) correct me if I am wrong

Quote:

Originally posted by lisap34
but they dont have my chapter that there school and I have been initated.

#11 12-06-2004, 04:55 AM

I know the GC masses will agree with me when I say that you are in college to receive an education and to get a degree, and having a social life takes a backseat to all of that.

Now that we know more about your situation, if you are initiated into an NPC sorority, you are not allowed to join another NPC sorority.

If you are concerned about making new friends and meeting new people, try and check out the other clubs on campus. Maybe a service-oriented or professional organization might be something you'd be interested in?

If you simply can't stay at your current campus, by all means, go somewhere where you'll be comfortable and confident enough to do well in school!

Good luck!

Tippiechick · #12 12-06-2004, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JocelynC
Just as a note- you may want to check with your sororities' policies on this, it varies from group to group.

Um, that's why I said TO MY KNOWLEDGE.

kddani · #13 12-15-2004, 07:36 AM

bump b/c this lovely started another thread http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...552#post913552 sorta changing the story. Now, instead of it not being for her, she was prettty much "forced" to initiate

epsilon99 · #14 12-15-2004, 05:52 PM

Its great that you recognize how important your sorority is to you but in the end where you go to school is more important.

Little E · #15 12-15-2004, 06:30 PM

OK
You are annoying me.

If you don't like your sorority and cannot find a way to live with it...DEACTIVATE.

Unless I missed something, you are in college for an education, not to be a member of a sorority. I don't care if you were forced, or just regret accepting your bid, but you are locked in with the NPC situation.

Transfer, you don't have to be (npc) greek. There are many other organizations to join. Move ON.