Is this bizzarro world or is it just me?

winneythepooh7 · #1 11-09-2004, 02:57 PM

So I spoke to the horrid ex last night (well actually only on AOL IM because I don't have the time to actually give him over the phone). He told me he met a chic on JDate.com 2 weeks ago and she is his "soul mate" and he plans to "propose" to her. God help her and is it just me, or is it totally bizzarro world (stealing one of my sorority sister's lines) that he is planning on proposing to a chic he just met on the INTERNET!!!!!

James · #2 11-09-2004, 03:13 PM

How is meeting a girl off the internet and porposing worse than meeting agirl through friends and proposing in the same amount of time?

(note I have yet to date a girl off the net)

Why are you even talking to an EX at all? What happened to th no-contact rule?

And if you are talking to an EX, I am assuming you are friendly with him, wouldn't you wish him the best?

winneythepooh7 · #3 11-09-2004, 03:18 PM

I wish him the best, and good riddance (LOL) but it just seems really weird IMO that someone would propose MARRIAGE after only 2 weeks of knowing someone. I guess in this day and age the internet is not totally weird, but I still think that it is important to have time to get to know someone before making a life altering decision like that. But it's not my life, thank God, just opening up discussion.

AlphaFrog · #4 11-09-2004, 03:36 PM

I think it is different whether you meet someone through friends or on the internet...you're friends with certain people for a reason, generally because you share at least a few commonalties (is that a word?), and they have other friends for a reason and they get you together with their other friends because either A)they just can't control their yenta urges or B) they know what you like and they know what their other friend likes and thinks you'll work well together...

Example (not that TV or reality shows are an accurate portrayal of real life but...) Look at the shows "A Dating Story" and "Blind Date"... One is where a mutal friend sets up the couple, the other producers set up the couple, probably by a profile match (not unlike internet dating services). One usually ends with a nice hug and a call to their friend saying "S/he was really nice, thank you for introducing me to him/her"...the other usually ends in a nasty namecalling "I'll never see him/her again" or sometimes in the hottub...but that's not the norm. Granted you also have to look at what station they're on, and who's doing the editing, but I've watched both shows many times and I have yet to see "A Dating Story" end with "Why the hell did you set me up with that trash???"

Peaches-n-Cream · #5 11-09-2004, 04:57 PM

Follow James' No Contact Rule because it works. Know it, learn it, live it.

I know a few married couples in which the man knew within hours of meeting that she is the one.

AKA_Monet · #6 11-09-2004, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
So I spoke to the horrid ex last night (well actually only on AOL IM because I don't have the time to actually give him over the phone). He told me he met a chic on JDate.com 2 weeks ago and she is his "soul mate" and he plans to "propose" to her. God help her and is it just me, or is it totally bizzarro world (stealing one of my sorority sister's lines) that he is planning on proposing to a chic he just met on the INTERNET!!!!!

Yeah, I agree with Peaches-n-Cream: for some reason when a guy knows, he just does and he is ready for it. Most men are like that, just jumping right on into the mix--not thinking... But hey, sometimes you have to do that if you want it like dat dere.

He may change his mind after physically being around her though and that would not shock me. Because marriage is such a different state of mind, soulmated or not, it does not matter one way or another--chit just happens... And communication is key.

I still don't understand why you find this situation so bizarre? Are you angry that he is wanting to marry someone and you don't think he's ready in such a short time?

'Cuz I can tell you, men ponder wanting marriage for a bit of time, then when they're ready--they just wait to put a "ring on the 'right' girl's finger"... And the "ready and willing ones" are usually the nerdy goof-balls that women often dismiss--until a woman wants to work with him and he's all in love...

winneythepooh7 · #7 11-09-2004, 07:26 PM

AKAMonet, I'm not mad at all, trust me. He is just the type of guy who is always in love if you know what I am saying. He is in love with being in love. But on the downside he is also controlling, spends way beyond his means, thinks he is better then everyone else, doesn't like ANYONE really,thinks he knows EVERYTHING, you can see where I am going with this. I wish him the best, I really really do, and hope it works out for both parties. In this case I think this is enough to take James and Peaches advice for good and cut all ties. My new boyfriend thinks it's weird that he is always calling me and wanting to be friends anyways............

AKA_Monet · #8 11-09-2004, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
AKAMonet, I'm not mad at all, trust me. He is just the type of guy who is always in love if you know what I am saying. He is in love with being in love. But on the downside he is also controlling, spends way beyond his means, thinks he is better then everyone else, doesn't like ANYONE really,thinks he knows EVERYTHING, you can see where I am going with this. I wish him the best, I really really do, and hope it works out for both parties. In this case I think this is enough to take James and Peaches advice for good and cut all ties. My new boyfriend thinks it's weird that he is always calling me and wanting to be friends anyways............

A way to think about is: Then guess what... The woman he is all in love with is the one who is going to have to deal with his jaded view of reality... He is not ready for any kind of relationship, even with himself. He sounds bizarre to begin with.

As far as your new boyfriend goes, I think it unwise to tell him anything about what this fool is doing... It has something to do with "foresaking all others..." So, leave the new one out of it altogether...

As far as the old boy goes, wish him good luck and tell him he needs to leave you alone. He needs to move on and find a friend in Jesus or something...

Diamond Delta · #9 11-09-2004, 08:34 PM

Avoid the Noid.

That's all I'm gonna say about that.

winneythepooh7 · #10 11-09-2004, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
He needs to move on and find a friend in Jesus or something...

Yeah, he is Jewish though. Another thing he tried to push on me on our like, second date.

wrigley · #11 11-09-2004, 11:37 PM

It sounds like you've moved on to someone. If she happens to be a rebound for him, that will be revealed later on down the line.

You said he plans on proposing to her. Someone said when you make plans God laughs.

AGDee · #12 11-10-2004, 07:28 AM

I've had a few proposals and I have to say, if someone proposed to me after two weeks, I would be totally freaked out and he would instantly be history!

As for how you met the person, while it makes sense that meeting a friend of a friend would seem like it have a better chance of working, I avoid that now because if the guy ends being a real loser, it puts a strain on the friendship.

My best friend was set up by her cousin, with a guy that her cousin worked with. After about two months of dating him, she figured out that he was married. Nobody at his work knew he was married! That's bizarro too!!!!

Dee

winneythepooh7 · #13 11-10-2004, 07:47 AM

We should turn this into the bizzarro guys we've dated thread.

BetteDavisEyes · #14 11-10-2004, 10:58 AM

I agree. Who wants to start?

FAB*SpiceySpice · #15 11-10-2004, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
I agree. Who wants to start?

ME ME ME!!!

First off we have the baseball bat killer...I am not joking guys, he beat someone to death with a baseball bat. His trial finally got dropped b/c every time it ended up being a mistrial...no one could decide whether or not it was self defense. So glad no one TOLD ME about this until after we had been seeing each other for like 2 months...awesome. I had nightmares about him killing me for like 4 months afterwards and I had to go sleep upstairs with my mommy some nights.

Then there was my last boyfriend...he didn't understand why I didn't want to date him anymore. This was after he a) told me he got some random girl pregnant when he was wasted one night and b) was going to be active in the child's life. Fine, I can respect that. I'm glad you're owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility. HOWEVER, at the time I was 20...I do not want to be babysitting my boyfriends illegitimate child on Friday nights with him instead of going out or doing other young people stuff. Plus he was just a big tool anyway.

Ok so there are some stories to start...I am sure I have more, but I'll save them for later.

Now...about this whole internet dating thing...WTF, seriously? How can someone be in love after two weeks? What about planning and worrying about normal stuff like whether or not he's educated, what his family is like, what he's like when he's pissed/sad/drunk/etc., what if he snores really loudly and you can't sleep next to him? Or maybe he chews with his mouth open and food falls out of it while he eats...Am I the only crazy person in the world who likes to date people who don't grate on my last nerve? (Though you'd never guess that by looking at my past boyfriends, but I digress)