Q and A with Karamo from Real World Philly

[NaturalDelta]

The BV Q&A: Karamo
By Isoul Harris
MTV has been keeping it real since 1992. It was then that their hit series, ‘The Real World,’ introduced the reality TV genre and spawned the trend that’s dominated subsequent seasons of almost every major network. Just as we were about to discard this ‘World’ into our axis of boredom (last season’s San Diego should have been labeled, ‘The Real World: Snoresville’), an interesting figure popped up and resuscitated our interest: Karamo.
Young, black, gifted and gay, the Houston-born 23-year-old had cell phones ringing off the hook, Blackberrys blowing up, and TiVos all around the country searching for the debut episode of ‘The Real World: Philadelphia,’ where a tall, masculine-acting, black man announced to the world that not only is he gay, but proud (Sylvester is surely turning over in his grave). Given the fact that we are in 2004, it would seem that discovering a masculine man’s homosexuality would grab our attention about as much as the sight of Paris Hilton walking yet another red carpet. However, Karamo’s confession (more rousing than any of Usher’s multi-platinum admissions) served as another reminder to black folks – in tandem with E. Lynn Harris’ novels and J.L. King’s bestseller, ‘On The Down Low’ – that not all gay brothers walk around giving three snaps in a circle.

In an effort to defy stereotypes, Karamo is searching for the truth on the ways of the world and most importantly the truth about himself. Legendary writer James Baldwin, who was famously outspoken and homosexual, once wrote: “But people can’t, unhappily, invent…their lovers and friends, anymore than they can invent their parents. Life gives these and also takes them away, and the great difficulty is to say yes to life.” Well, Karamo is saying yes to life, in that he has chosen the path less traveled in an effort to enlighten and educate.

BlackVoices recently talked with Karamo about his family, whether there is a difference between gay rights and civil rights, his current relationship and why he hates the down- low phenomenon.

What have you been doing since ‘The Real World’ has blown you up?

I am traveling around to schools talking about different issues like race relations, spirituality, politics, sexuality, family life and things of that nature. I am also working with the Democratic National Committee to get the word out about voting.

How do you feel about Kerry and Edwards’ non-support of gay-marriage rights?

Well, right now, we are at a point where… [Hesitates]…well, can I skip that question?

May I ask you why?

I am really a supporter of Kerry, and right now, as in any election, there are some things that you may not agree on with a candidate.

Don’t you think it’s okay, and quite normal, to support someone and not believe in everything they advocate?

Of course. Plus, Kerry’s stood up on a lot of other issues regarding the gay and lesbian community. And right now we are at a time when these right-wing conservatives are trying to use sexuality as a wedge to divide and mask the real issues.

Do you feel that gay rights are equivalent to civil rights?

No. Gay rights are a little more reminiscent of women’s rights in this country. There was such a longer struggle in the African-American community for rights that should have been God-given. On the flipside, even though I am not comparing my struggle as a gay man to the civil rights struggle, you need to understand that I am still trying to obtain rights that should be mine as a human being. As an African-American, you should assist me and be apathetic because you’ve been discriminated against.

Are you helping to mobilize the gay community to get out and vote?

Yeah. The gay and lesbian youth vote is going to be very powerful. It inspires me when I see young brothers and sisters on college campuses rallying others to get out and vote.

What types of responses are you getting at your speaking engagements?

It’s amazing. There are lines of maybe 200-300 women wanting to say hello and to hug me. There are lots of straight men, both white and black, who say, “I am straight, but I just wanted to give you your props, for being confident and being real.” There are professors in their 70s, who thank me for just being who I am.

Why did you want to be on ‘The Real World?’

It was a fluke. It was never something that I wanted to pursue. My roommates tried out several times, and I went on it because I saw the past season and there was a situation where the black guy’s roommate called a guy on the street the N-word and I didn’t think that he handled it appropriately. Beyond that situation, I knew that if I were to go on the show I was going to have to prove a point that everyone in the African-American community and in the gay community are not the same. We are masculine, feminine, smart, athletic and not, artistic and not. We are human.

You told the producers initially that you are gay?

It wasn’t until after I moved into the house that they found out. In my everyday life, my sexuality is not all that I am about. I am an African-American and that is the struggle that I deal with and that was what I discussed with them first. Then later, it was like, “Are you dating anyone?” And I was like, “No, I am not dating anyone.” “What about any exes?” And I was like, “Yeah, this guy I used to date,” and that blew their minds because they had no clue.

Your family is of Jamaican descent, and that culture is typically known to be aggressively homophobic. What type of reactions are you getting from your family?

I have uncles and aunts that are not with this at all and they wonder why I went on television and supposedly “embarrassed” myself. They think this is the most horrible s***. My father and I don’t talk anymore. In his eyes, he doesn’t have a son. He believes that he brought up what he assumes to be a straight boy and he does not accept the fact that I am gay. But, on the flipside, I have my mother and sister, who are supportive and loving. They may not understand why I am gay, but they are willing to pray with me and to be with and love me, along with my grandmother who loves me regardless.

Did your family know about your sexuality before ‘The Real World’?

Yeah, they knew. But, it adds a different element when the family secret is on national TV and I am on there being proud of who I am.

What about your friends?

The majority of my boys are straight and they have always been with me and are supportive. We relate on another level that is deeper than sexuality. They talk about girls they hook up with and I talk about a guy that I might see. It’s all love.

How do you feel about people saying that you are the new face of Black Gay America?

I am cool with it. To tell you the truth, there are not a lot of representatives out there in Black Gay America. For some reason, we haven’t had that many brothers and sisters in the community to come out and say, “I’m proud.” But, if I can be that face for a little bit, and give courage to other people to come out and be who they are, then I am cool with that.

Why do you think most gay, black Americans stay in the closet?

There are stigmatisms in our culture. As African-Americans, we face so many other injustices, so sexuality isn’t a priority. We are dealing first with being black. Also, many of us were raised in the church, where they tell us that we are sinners and we are going to hell. If you are going to church with your family, and they are preaching against homosexuality, why would you be proud to come out? But, the Lord that I love doesn’t judge.

Are you dating someone?

Yeah.

How is the show affecting your relationship?

It’s actually cool. The dude that I am dating is a guy I met on the show. He will be on the show. Since he was a part of it, he understands what I went through.

He’s in L.A.?

No, he still lives in Philly.

How is bi-coastal dating?

If you want something to work, you will make it work, it’s not the easiest thing, because there are some nights when I come home from work and just want to be with him and hold him real hard and ask him about his day and feel the touch of his hand. But, we just get on the phone and talk for hours.

Is there a reason why you go out of your way to differentiate yourself from Willy on the show by constantly telling the roommates how you are a different type of gay man?

That’s editing. Willy and I have talked about this. They show the same clips over and over again. I have friends that are effeminate and others that are masculine. A lot of times, the effeminate brothers are stronger than I am because of the things that they have to go through on a daily basis just walking the street. No one bothers me on the street. I’m glad that people get to see a difference, but it’s not some point that I am driving home that I am better because I am more masculine.

With the popularity of E. Lynn Harris’ novels and J.L. King’s best-seller, ‘On the Down Low’….

I hate that book, by the way.

Why is that?

I am so disgusted with this “Down Low” thing. As a black man who is gay, I have been proud of who I am. One of the roommates was shocked because me and the brother that I am dating are both educated, strong and both proud of being gay. All she knew was the image that [J.L. King] painted on ‘Oprah.’ This man is capitalizing from saying that the majority of gay black men are lying and sleeping around on their wives. It’s very tacky.

The majority of people buying these books are black women, what do they say to you when they come out to hear you speak?

The first thing they say is that they don’t believe that I am gay. But, on the flipside, they ask if I am on the D.L. Then they ask if I think that I will be with another woman and I am like, “No.” But, by the end of the conversation, they are thanking me for being myself and not playing them and some dude at the same time.

October 27, 2004

What are your thoughts on this? I think it is interesting!!!