Inlaws Anniversary: Throwing Away Perfectly Good Money?

[KillarneyRose]

One of Mr. KR's brothers decided that, with their parents' 40th anniversary coming up it would be nice to throw a big party for them and we'd (Mr. KR and I, that brother and his wife and a third brother and wife) all chip in to pay for it. Fine. Then, the same brother decided that we should all chip in and send them of a $7,000 Royal Carribbean cruise.

Mr. KR thinks we should just shut up and hand over the $2,400, but I have a real problem with it and, although my dislike for my mother in law and father in law have been well documented here (well, in the Mods Corner mostly), that's not why I object.

First of all, I think that is a ridiculous amount of money to spend in addition to the thousand dollars we're paying toward the party. Second, the inlaws received a very nice cruise on their 25th anniversary that their three sons allegedly chipped in on. What that meant was, since Mr. KR was working and his brothers were in college and high school at the time, the two younger brothers donated $10 each and Mr. KR paid for the rest.

Am I wrong to object to sending them on yet another cruise? And please don't get the idea that they're poverty stricken and eating cat food. They both have very good pensions, get new cars every other year and just bought a house at the beach. They can darn well buy their own cruise if they want to go so badly. Ugh!

edited because I can't spell

[ambición6]

I would think that $2,400 is alot of $ for an anniversary gift on top of the $1,000 you are contributing for the party. The party in it of itself seems like enough celebration to me.
Especially since your in-laws sound like they are well off, yeah it's a bit much and if hubby tried to get me to do that, my foot would be firmly put down.

[DeltAlum]

Must be a hell of a cruise. We've taken very nice cruises for a quarter of that much.

[James]

If the amount of money doesn't impact you, well shutting up and forking it out may be the better part of valor lol.

[33girl]

Oh for crying out loud.

Have a banquet at the VFW with roast beef and creamed lettuce and be done with it. Forget this cruise isht.

first of all have you got the brothers wives take on all this? how do they feel in contributing that amt to 1. a party and 2. a cruise?

first of all i have cruised Royal cribberian and my parents just got back from a 2 week alaskan cruise on the same liner and there not great by any means anymore

If there so well off i would say they can afford it themselves ...i agree the $1000 of your own part in the party is well enough of an amt to go towards a gift

[wrigley]

Since Mr. KR paid for the 25th anniversary gift ,less twenty dollars, it would have been nice if the other two brothers returned the favor and not have Mr. KR ante up the full $2400.

Instead of a cruise, why not make a group donation to their favorite charity in their names and still have the party.

[valkyrie]

I think it's ridiculous. If the brother wants to send them on a cruise he can go ahead, but to expect anyone else to shell out that much $$$ is crazy. Invite the inlaws over to watch Titanic and then they won't even want to go on a cruise.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Must be a hell of a cruise. We've taken very nice cruises for a quarter of that much.

Co-sign, DeltAlum. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon that cost about a third of that. I understand my SIL, who is a bit of a princess, chose this one. It's ten days long I think, withone of the best cabins onboard with a balcony and all that jazz.

I like Valkyrie and 33's ideas very much

[Munchkin03]

The party is enough. $3,000 doesn't seem like an unreasonable amount to spend on an anniversary that isn't even a "milestone" anniversary. My mother's siblings just had a party for my grandparents' 60th, and it was probably a little more than that amount.

Save the cruise for the 50th.

[Rudey]

Have you ever watched Sally Jesse Raphael? When the kids act bad, they send them to Boot Camp. Dave Chappelle even had the Nelson Mandella boot camp. Send your in-laws to boot camp. There are even vacations where people go to bootcamp just for fun. They won't know you're sending them. It will be worth it.

-Rudey

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
One of Mr. KR's brothers decided that, with their parents' 40th anniversary coming up it would be nice to throw a big party for them and we'd (Mr. KR and I, that brother and his wife and a third brother and wife) all chip in to pay for it. Fine. Then, the same brother decided that we should all chip in and send them of a $7,000 Royal Carribbean cruise.

Mr. KR thinks we should just shut up and hand over the $2,400, but I have a real problem with it and, although my dislike for my mother in law and father in law have been well documented here (well, in the Mods Corner mostly), that's not why I object.

First of all, I think that is a ridiculous amount of money to spend in addition to the thousand dollars we're paying toward the party. Second, the inlaws received a very nice cruise on their 25th anniversary that their three sons allegedly chipped in on. What that meant was, since Mr. KR was working and his brothers were in college and high school at the time, the two younger brothers donated $10 each and Mr. KR paid for the rest.

Am I wrong to object to sending them on yet another cruise? And please don't get the idea that they're poverty stricken and eating cat food. They both have very good pensions, get new cars every other year and just bought a house at the beach. They can darn well buy their own cruise if they want to go so badly. Ugh!

edited because I can't spell

uh . . . I hate to take an unpopular stance (ha! just kidding!) but honestly, I think you're letting bitterness over past events cloud you up a little.

If Mr. KR doesn't really care about the Cruise From The Past (c), then I'd say you should let it ride for now. Sure, it's a little weak that they contributed essentially lunch at the airport, but it doesn't really impact today's decision directly.

As far as the exorbitancy of the cruise - well, it's a bit steep (we're sending my grandparents to Hawaii for 8 days, all expenses, for $5800 for their 50th anniversary - split among three and a half families of kids), so that's really the only portion you could discuss, it's a little gauche (even w/ your funds being included) to back out completely, especially considering your distaste for the in-laws (which, if we know here . . . I'm sure they all know too).

So I'd say renegotiate, maybe come back w/ a counteroffer for a comparable but cheaper cruise. Then, be prepared to see people you hate enjoying a gorgeous week, partially on you. Sorry, but c'est la vie, hopefully your kids return the favor.

Now - if you need this money for something else (that's not "building the summer home on Cape Cod" but maybe more like "dinner"), then all bets are off and feel free to play that card at will.

-RC
--Just watched mom go through same thing w/ her brothers . . .

[kddani]

I love reading your in law stories, Tracy.

After hearing about how they treat you and how much you just *love* them I think this is way steep. My personal choice would be either the party or the cruise, but not both. While 40 years is nice, it's not a milestone anniversary as has been said.

I'm going to PM you something privately, as well

[aephi alum]

Send them one way.

That's a ridiculous amount of money to be spending on ILs you don't even like. If I were you I'd chip in for the party and that's it. Or maybe contribute $10 to the cruise and let the BILs pick up the rest.

[WCUgirl]

Okay, I don't know the drama b/w you and your in-laws, but I would still say a big fat HELL NO to that amount of $$$.

Pay for the party or for whatever you agreed to pay beforehand, then give them like a nice digital camera or something to take on the trip w/ them. If you're even feeling that generous.

When was the last time any one of them did something like this for you?