Jealousy

[CANDID#4]

Hello Sorors and friends,

I have a small dilemma. Ever since I crossed in SP '00, I have noticed that my boyfriend is a little jealous of DST. We have been friends forever, and I can't make him understand how important Delta is to me. When we go out and I am wearing pari, and someone greeks me, he gets jealous. When I go to parties and line... ditto. I love him so much, and I am sure that I just have Neo-fever. But my deep love for Delta will never fade. Not even a little. Lately I find myself not wearing any pari. And trying not to talk about Delta as much around him.

Any advice?

But that is not all...

Before I crossed Delta I didn't hang with many people. Now that I have crossed over, I still have few friends.(That's the way I like it). The thing is I have heard a lot of people say Alisha is stuck up. And this is so far from the truth. I didn't hang before. Do people expect me to hang now? I do not walk around with my nose up. But I am the same ol' me. I don't go out of my way to speak to people I don't know. Now if someone comes ups to me I am very cordial but I don't understand why ought of a sudden it is all eyes on me. I just want to be respected as Delta but known as Alisha.

Any suggestions?

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C.O.N.SPIRACY 13
#4 CANDID
SPR '00
DELTA PHI CHAPTER
BALL STATE UNIVESITY

[Conspiracy2]

Well Soror, I crossed Spring 00 as well. And I have heard many a similar thing said about me and my whole line as well. But I am sorry,it is just really funny to me. I don't really know if a lot of these girls are looking at me because of my hair, or my outfit or what...Or is it because I am one of the new Deltas that have come out on the yard now. I intentionally made time before and after I became a Delta for all of my friends who supported me in my quest for Delta before I crossed and the ones who travelled many a mile to see me at my probate show! So, it hurts me to hear the rumors about how we think we're all that now, or we're stuck up now, many of my sands and I are the same way that we were before...and we WILL CONTINUE to be that way. So don't HATE! Now as far as speaking to the girls that I don't really know...well I'll speak to anyone just because I am a friendly peron. But, I do know those only speaking to me because they are trying to chalk up a vote...there are girls on my campus now, who I've heard know our real names, line names and numbers, our majors and when we graduate....a real friend indeed huh? I think not! You can make sure you speak to me and I see you at our functions, yet you can't speak to me when we are in the same class or work at the same place...now see that is phoney...and I will not let THAT into my beloved SISTERHOOD!

That's my $19.13 worth, okay !

[DirectorDST99]

Soror there's something about a DELTA WOMAN.......

When I crossed, my husband, who is now my ex-husband, thought it was a bit too much and talked negatively about me becoming a member and still to this day says "I guess you're doing Delta stuff again."

I have found that people who don't understand the commitment of public service will never understand Delta. I have also found that if you don't have a "greek" spouse or mate it is sometimes hard on a relationship.

You should sit down with your boyfriend and explain to him that this is a lifetime commitment and you should also prioritize church, school, family, delta, etc.

To be a Delta Woman is an HONOR and MANY MANY people know this. I know that for years before I crossed I would look at Deltas like "Wow, what great women they are!" So, soror, the strange looks from others are natural.

Never stop talking about Delta because that's one topic that should continuously pop up no matter who you're around. The conversation will only reaffirm to others your deep commitment and love for what Delta means globally.



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Director #2
LMAC
Spr 99

Hi Soror Candid!!

I can't give you any advice about your boyfriend situation (I was single when I crossed ).

Now about your "friends". I didn't hang out with a lot of people either before I crossed mainly because I commuted, but the same people who were cool with me before, were still there afterwards. And then there were the "friends" that came out of nowhere. People knew my name, what kind of car I drove, and everything. At first I was flattered, but after discussing this with some of my LS' I thought hmmm....

As long as you attend college, you will be forever known as Alisha the Delta. There is no way around it. I know it can be frustrating at times, but you are now a woman of DST. Everything you do and say reflects on your chapter and our organization. My advice is to still be friendly, there is nothing wrong with saying hi to someone. If they're being fake about it, then that's on them. You are also finding out who your "true" friends are. But that's life, anytime something positive or good happens to you, there are going to be haters even if you thought they were your friends. Keep being yourself and besides you have 200,000 sisters and friends now!

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Prestigious #22
"24 Reflections of Perfection"
Spring 1997

[bklyndelta]

GOOD LAWD!!!! My Sorors are definitely on point with this one!! LOL LOL

Well, soror Candid I was engaged while on line and, I'm happy to report that I still am. Actually Delta was not a big issue for my fiancee because his occupation requires him to travel a great deal. (Maybe that's why it worked??? Just kidding) Although, I occasionally get "snide" remarks from him, I know his comments are all in fun. As a matter a fact, he went to Philly Greekfest and I DIDN'T! And get this, he's not even "Greek!" ROFL

Forgive me! I'm not trying to make light of your situation, but some good old-fashioned humor goes a long way. I hope everything works out for you with regard to your personal relationship/friendships.

Also, it wouldn't hurt to pray on it.

And remember, YOU STILL HAVE ALL OF US!!!!!!!!!!

"THEE BKLYNDELTA"
1913% LEGIT AND LOVIN" IT

[This message has been edited by bklyndelta (edited July 17, 2000).]

[HER_STORY]

not to man bash but........i really think that men are such babies. if you are doing anything that takes up some of your time, they are upset. either it's school, family functions (yours), children, work, church, or organizations. when i first got my puppy -- i had to spend alot of time training her. the man that i was seeing at the time was very upset about the time factor. what mature adult is jealous of a puppy?

anyway candid.......just pray about it and it will work out!

[Discogoddess]

Candid:

Actually, my non-greek husband was the one who gently nudged me to get off my butt and get active again in my beloved sorority. Before I reactivated with a graduate chapter, I explained to him how much of an investment this step would be-financial, time, etc.-and he was/is very supportive. So, not all men are "jealous" of their significant other's greek involvement. Remember, signs are everywhere...

As for friends, I'll relate a little story. My sands and I were from a completely anti-greek, non-greek campus, but we pledged off campus anyway, since we wanted AKA so badly. We were in the process of trying to charter a citywide chapter. Anywhoo, after we crossed Spring 1990, a "friend" had the stupidity to ask me if I was going to "only date greek guys now?" I'm like, "hello, there are no greek men on this campus, you freaking idiot! Besides, I wasn't digging the lame men on this campus in the first place, so why should I change my dating policy to prove that I'm still 'down to earth'?" The people on my campus prejudged us based on what they had heard about greeks, yet they had no examples in front of them of greeks on our yard. People can be soooo simple; just ignore the haters and keep doing your thing!

DG

[Spotlight4Delta]

I agree with c&c1913. You will forever be known as "That Delta." It is almost like you have to go out of your way just so people won't think you have negatively changed. I just say if you are acting the same as you were before and your man and friends are still trippin, just let them know that yes, you have changed (in a positive way) and yes, you are going to be doing more things than before, but they will still have there time. Now, it seems as though my LS's and sorors are my only true friends, except for a couple of people b/c of jealousy and resentment. I can't help it if I belong to the tightest sorority?!

[9 Pearls]

Your must have been reading my mind. My husband was behind me until the day I crossed. Then it was like he was irritated when greeks approached me, when my sisters called to check on me or invite me somewhere. He is non-greek, but some things I go to are for anybody, not just greeks. you are right about having all eyes on you. girls who paid no attention to me or who had a friendly relation ship with me begin watching my every move during every class. I was thinking something was wrong with my hair or clothes too. Some girls who used to speak, turned their heads when they had spoke every other day. It was not me, I acted the same way I did in every other class.