serving in the military is putting your career before your family

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

After Kami Davis returned to Baxter from a nine-month deployment in Afghanistan and Fort Riley, Kan., her husband served her with divorce papers. A judge this month awarded primary physical custody of their two young daughters to him, ruling that she "put her career needs ahead of her children's needs."

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/app...408270301/1035

This comes on the heels of the Dept. of Defense basically blaming employers for assigning reserve members to key positions.
http://desmoinesregister.com/apps/pb...408110338/1012

[Tom Earp]

This seems to be happening to many of the returning Military personell coming home from Iraq. No Jobs.

Against Federal Law!

[winneythepooh7]

Being with someone in the military is a very stressful situation which often causes marriages and relationships to fail. I understand and respect a person's decision to be in the military and be away for long amounts of time. It is a big sacrifice emotionally for the partner however to be with someone who makes this choice. I dated someone in the military once who was sent oversees and it was really hard. You also realize (and I am not saying this necessarily applies to this situation, I am talking about military relationships in general) that after going through so many "honey-moon periods" when the person away returns, that maybe you didn't have as much in common as you thought, and also, a lot of people in the military often marry out of loneliness, and wanting someone to come home to. Just looking at the military in general, many people go in at 18 and get married not too far away from that age. I don't know too many 18 year olds in general who are ready to be married, let alone have kids. I don't know a lot of 28-year-olds who are ready emotionally to be married and have children. This is just my opinion, but I think a lot of times what happens is when faced with a situation of deployment, no matter how much one tries to "prepare" themself, often people just cannot handle this. There's nothing wrong with that feeling, it is just one other situation in life that some people can handle and some people can't.

The title seems to suggest a hidden agenda. The military is a small slice of society, in every aspect. People come from all economic and social backgrounds and walks of life.

The United States has the highest divorce rate out of any country in the entire world. 4.95 per 1,000 people according to my research. It's the entire nation that needs fixing...

[honeychile]

Well, gee, someone is finding fault with the ruling of a judge during a divorce - welcome to the real world! Judges make mistakes all the time, and it sometimes is a doozie - like this one. I completely disagree with his ruling, and I would imagine, if and when Kami Davis appeals this silly decision, His Honor may find himself looking for a new job after election day!

[Jill1228]

He must be a bitter judge who got his ass kicked in a divorce!

[James]

why do we disagree? The worst you could say about the father really is he is a stay at home dad. Plenty of stay at home mom's are awarded custody.

I am not saying its right or wrong. I am just saying that the author can't have it both ways.

The issue isn't necessarily about discrimination against women for working, unless it also claims that men have been discriminated against for working.

[swissmiss04]

I wonder if the situation were reversed (he was military and she divorced him) if she would have been awarded custody? Very few men get accused of putting their careers before their families.
I hope His Honor finds a hobby because he's going to need it. God knows I wouldn't vote for someone like him.

[wrigley]

James you didn't read the story closely, the man she was married to her wasn't holding his end of the financial deal in the marriage. She worked multiple jobs. Before war the national guard was another opportunity for her to financially care for her family.

Caring for children is not easy but I somehow doubt that is the real issue. I'm guessing that her ex-husband might have had someone on the side while she was gone. Flame me I'm a cynic.

For the judge to say she chose career over family is wrong. She went to defend our country not a nine month stint at a health spa. I guess she should be lucky that she gets any time with her children at all considering what prince the judge is .
I agree she should appeal the decision.

If the ex-husband is the great stay at home dad then time will tell.
But I think she will be paying $765 per month in alimony. I don't think that's much money to live on with 2 kids. He is going to have to get some kind of job as well. Why didn't the judge question him as to his childcare arrangements when he is out in the workforce?

[James]

You are probably right, I just don't think we would be as concerned or it would be as notable if the genders were switched. I could be wrong though.

Originally posted by wrigley
James you didn't read the story closely, the man she was married to her wasn't holding his end of the financial deal in the marriage. She worked multiple jobs. Before war the national guard was another opportunity for her to financially care for her family.

Caring for children is not easy but I somehow doubt that is the real issue. I'm guessing that her ex-husband might have had someone on the side while she was gone.

For the judge to say she chose career over family is wrong. She went to defend our country not a nine month stint at a health spa. I guess she should be lucky that she gets any time with her children at all considering what prince the judge is .
I agree she should appeal the decision.

If the ex-husband is the great stay at home dad then time will tell.

[Coramoor]

I think it's kind of funny that a male is finally playing the system...

[honeychile]

Originally posted by Coramoor
I think it's kind of funny that a male is finally playing the system...

Been there, done that. I had to pay support for my ex-leech for 3 1/2 years, while he lived in the house I had bought!