Think everybody's doin' it? Think again.

[hoosier]

Think everybody's doin' it? Think again.
by Jennifer Girardin


Joshua Sazdanoff, 19, has never had sex.

And he doesn't plan to until his wedding night.

Sazdanoff, a kinesiology sophomore, says at age 13 he became a born-again Christian and set the Bible as his truth. According to his beliefs, he mist "keep the marriage bed pure," which means waiting until marriage to have sex.

He attended a Christian school and says he dated Christian girls with similar beliefs about sexual purity. They would set boundaries like avoiding spending time alone at his girlfriend's houses.

Though he says his commitment of abstinence until marriage stems from his spiritual beliefs, he thinks there are benefits even for those who don't hold the same beliefs.

"Even from a non-Christian perspective, waiting makes [sex] more special," says Sanzdanoff.

"Plus, you don't have to worry about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."

He says he doesn't subscribe to the notion of needing to "try the car before you buy it."

"God knows my heart and he knows me more than anyone else," says Sanzdanoff. "If He has the perfect woman for me, it won't be good or bad."

Sanzdanoff is among only 21 percent of ASU college students who have never engaged in vaginal intercourse, according to the results of a survey conducted in the spring by the American College Health Association in conjunction with the ASU Student Health and Wellness Center.

Karen Moses, assistant director of health education and wellness at the center, says virginity is relative.

"It's all in what someone considers 'sex,'" says Moses, while seated in her office.

Moses says some people consider "sex" to be any type of sexual behavior, like taking a shower naked together or performing other sexual acts such as oral sex.

Sarah Craig, a secondary education junior, says she defines losing her virginity as vaginal intercourse. She says she doesn't believe a person loses their virginity if they have oral sex, but she still doesn't believe the act is right "in God's eyes."

Craig says as a teenager she made a commitment to remain abstinent until marriage. She says she broke the commitment just a few months ago and regrets it.

"It was really weird," Craig says over the phone.

"I had been drinking a little bit, we were lying in my bed and I told him to leave. We discussed how it wasn't meant to be and five minutes later he was kissing my neck and we were having sex."

She says it hasn't completely sunken in and she's not sure how she'll break the news to her mother, who cried when she found out that Craig's older sister engaged in premarital sex.

"I just threw it away," says Craig of her commitment to abstinence.

"I would take it back in a heartbeat."

She says she wanted her "first time" to be with the man she would spend the rest of her life with, the man she loved and would marry.

"I'm sinning, and I'm not happy," says Craig of her continued affairs with her friend.

She says she knows they aren't meant to be together in the future and says when they break up, she plans to abstain from sex again.

"I still believe in abstinence, I'm just not abiding in it right now," says Craig.

"I was strong for four years of saying 'no' for so long. Sex is great, I love it and it will be hard when we break up, but God will give me the strength again."

For now Craig says she has to do many things she didn't have to worry about before when she wasn't having sex, like going to the doctor to make sure she hasn't contracted anything.

"I believe with certain sins, there are consequences," says Craig over the phone.

"It could be disease, heartbreak, a baby; any number of things."

As for advice she has for others struggling with similar issues, Craig says she would encourage them to listen to their "inner voice."

"If you feel any inch of not wanting to do it, don't do it," says Craig.

"It's there for a reason."