Attn. guys: TOO good looking??

[AXJules]

Ok I searched and didn't find a thread for this.
I'm curious to throw this out there and see the responses it gets.

My guys and I have been talking about this recently- is it possible for a girl to be so hot/cute/attractive that it actually interferes with her meeting guys?

Of course there are girls that are so hot in person that she seems bitchy and unapproachable... but guys imagine some girl that you're really attracted to, that's also friendly, outgoing, smiley.... approachable .

How is it that the "homelier" girls get the digits or leave with a guy, while she goes home alone?? (Screw the inner personality thing temporarily- this is on a superficial level only, which I think the majority of people deal with when looking for a hookup at a bar.)



My friend says that no matter how friendly she is, if she's too attractive, her chances are slim. I say, since when are women supposed to make themselves ugly to go out?

[decadence]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Absolute B.S.

So a girl is searching for reasons why she is unsuccessful in the dating game and the conclusion she reaches is "well I'm just too attractive so much so to the point it intimidates guys!".

Oh please.

If someone finds some attractive they are attracted to them not repelled.

Perhaps these girls might like to think that arrogance, egotism and narcissism isn't exactly a turn on and is in fact a turn off for guys?
They need to work on that not uglifying themselves because they're "just too good looking for men to cope with".

Oh puhleeese!!!

[Lady Pi Phi]

I agree with decadence.

I don't think one's complete and utter Helen of Troy beauty is a reson why she can't get a date.

These women have no class, not personality and no intelligence. That's why they can't get a date.
Ever watch Jenny Jones when they have the exoctic dancers on and they say "I am so beautiful and I can't get a date!"
Sorry lady, but it's because you're a beeyatch and a ho that you can't get a date!

[swissmiss04]

No it's true. I had a roommate that could have passed for a brunette Barbie. And her personality was pretty good too. She got hit on a lot in bars and stuff, but never could find anyone.
I think it boils down to intimidation. Sort of a "I could never have that and I don't want to even try because I know I'll be rejected." It becomes an admiration from afar but never more than that. Same thing w/ guys. If a guy was just knock out I wouldn't even think of approaching him. He has better things to do than me.

[decadence]

No it's true. I had a roommate that could have passed for a brunette Barbie. And her personality was pretty good too. She got hit on a lot in bars and stuff, but never could find anyone.

Well that's just contradicting yourself!!

Firstly you start by saying she ***DID*** get approached often (underlined). Then the sentence continued by saying she was never satisfied with any of them. In other words agreeing with all the earlier responses by saying she was arrogant and self obsessed and believed no guy was good enough for her.

[swissmiss04]

Right.
She couldn't find anyone because no one would call her. Not because she wasn't satisfied. You read too much into it. She was not arrogant or anything. It always hurt her that she seemed good enough to flirt with but never good enough to be taken out.

[AXJules]

Originally posted by decadence
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Absolute B.S.

So a girl is searching for reasons why she is unsuccessful in the dating game and the conclusion she reaches is "well I'm just too attractive so much so to the point it intimidates guys!".

Oh please.

If someone finds some attractive they are attracted to them not repelled.

Perhaps these girls might like to think that arrogance, egotism and narcissism isn't exactly a turn on and is in fact a turn off for guys?
They need to work on that not uglifying themselves because they're "just too good looking for men to cope with".

Oh puhleeese!!!

Whoa whoa whoa, I quoted you but this is to Lady P as well...
maybe I didn't explain well enough. (I'm thinking of a particular friend of mine who is 5'11, gorgeous, but prettier on the inside...) My friend Jamie is not the one who thinks she's attractive- it's quite the opposite, actually, she's a very down to Earth girl which is why I love her.

She is not the one who thinks she's God's gift. My male friends were the ones who very passionately suggested that when a girl is that pretty, she doesn't have much of a chance. It was THEIR theory, not hers- which is why I was so surprised. With the way they all agreed, it was like unknown "guy code" or something

Lady P- I think it's really unfair to make such a blatant stereotype and call "hot" girls no class, no personalitied "beeyatches" and "ho's". I'm not talking about stripper types who whore themselves out with the way they dress and present themself- just a really pretty girl who goes out to have a good time.
Talk about knocking down your own gender....

[AXJules]

Originally posted by swissmiss04
Right.
She couldn't find anyone because no one would call her. Not because she wasn't satisfied. You read too much into it. She was not arrogant or anything. It always hurt her that she seemed good enough to flirt with but never good enough to be taken out.

Exactly. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen a guy ask for her #.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by AXJules
Lady P- I think it's really unfair to make such a blatant stereotype and call "hot" girls no class, no personalitied "beeyatches" and "ho's". I'm not talking about stripper types who whore themselves out with the way they dress and present themself- just a really pretty girl who goes out to have a good time.
Talk about knocking down your own gender....

I'm not knocking down my own gender. When I see a girl who acts like a piece of trash, I'm going to call her a pice of trash. This does not include girls who like to go out and have a good time. Hell I like to go out and have a good time.

Now, your post was very vague. She's a pretty girl. Well I don't know how she acts. But let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's gorgeous, wonderful, out going personality, kind, friendly, smart, great conversationalist, etc, etc. Yes, her beauty probably does get in the way of her finding someone. Because some guys are just as insecure with themselves as women and they think they could never get a girl that beautiful. It all boils down to insecurity. She's probably just as insecure because she thinks no one is interested in her. This is when she'll have to take life into her own hands and approach the guys.

[GeekyPenguin]

Pip you can't respond to this.

Anyway, I've seen this happen a lot - several of my high school friends were GORGEOUS women. One in particular, who I will call "L," was always really sad she never had a boyfriend or never got dates. My friend A had a huge crush on L, but never acted on it, saying that she was way out of his league, she would never give him the time of day, even though they were in classes together and talked a lot, sat at the same lunch table, all that jazz. Well, senior year, my then-boyfriend talked A into asking L to prom, and she got scared - because it was her first date! They ended up having a great time, and I think L is now engaged to somebody else, but the point is that L was this amazing girl that guys were terrified to approach even though I know she would have dated them.

So the moral of the story, ladies, is that it's good to be average: When it comes down to hot girl, heiffer at the end of the bar, and you, you're the one getting the digits.

[ZTAngel]

I was talking to the wife of one of my co-workers. She is absolutely gorgeous....a real life Barbie. At the same time, she is completely down-to-earth. She was telling me about how her daughter, age 10, wants to get into cheerleading. She was telling me that she didn't think it was a good idea. When I asked her why, she said, "I was a cheerleader in high school. You would think that would have gotten me dates but it actually ended up hindering me." She said that guys were afraid to approach her since she was a cheerleader and cheerleaders have a stereotype about them. Plus, she was Homecoming Queen and Senior Class President. All the guys thought that she would think she was too good for them. She didn't have her first date until college!
She told me about how she ran into her high school crush in college and she had the guts to tell him that she use to like him. He told her that he wished he had known because he would have been all about dating her.
She's afraid that if she puts her daughter in cheerleading that she will have the same problem getting dates that she once had.
I definitely think there's such a thing as being too beautiful. There's some guys out there who are completely intimidated by that and don't think the girl would ever go for them.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by AXJules
(I'm thinking of a particular friend of mine who is 5'11, gorgeous, but prettier on the inside...) My friend Jamie is not the one who thinks she's attractive- it's quite the opposite, actually, she's a very down to Earth girl which is why I love her.

Wait wait wait....she's 5'11 and she's having a hard time with men? WTF is going on up there in Chicago?

[decadence]

Being good looking has to be ranking as unimaginably low down in any list of reasons I might not ask a particular girl out!!

I remember once listening to some radio show a few years back. This woman had rung in with this 'complaint' saying she didn't get asked out but - in fact because - she was really attractive (mmm, ok...). A guy rang in and said 'hey give her my number or give me hers' tho the DJ said he wasn't gonna run a dating service.

I think it's all in their heads or they're on crack, or something.

[sugar and spice]

It definitely happens.

Actually, now that I think about it, some of the prettiest girls I knew in high school (who, yes, happened to have good personalities) dated the least.

A lot of guys are insecure and won't go after a girl they don't think they have a chance with. Also, they're more likely to assume a beautiful girl already has a boyfriend.

A lot of beautiful girls tend to be more insecure about their looks (strangely enough). The whole thing about guys being attracted to confidence is true. Looks aside, a confident girl is more likely to send out those approach-me signals.

And then there are the beautiful girls who might have great personalities, but because they've been able to get by on their looks, their personalities tend to be kind of bland until you get to know them better.

I'm sure there are other reasons for it too.

[AXJules]

I think this whole thing is crap!
Girls seem to think it definitely happens...guys haven't said much but that they think it's bullshit (possibly b/c they don't want to admit they're intimidated?).
So now we're not supposed to look as cute as we can when we go out?? I can't win...