Personality and Greek Life

[_Q_]

At a previous school, I was in a sorority and it wasn't the best experience. The other members weren't bad people; it just wasn't a good fit for me.

It seems like some personalities are more compatible with Greek life than others. This isn't a slam, just a neutral statement. For example, there was one thread that talked about what exactly members were going to wear for Rush (and in some cases, how they had to decorate their rooms). To me, this seems strange - why would people want to expend time and money on something like this? To many GC'ers, it probably makes perfect sense.

Would it be good to help PNMs understand up front whether Greek life really is for them? It seems like there are a number of members and pledges who end up dropping, so I'm not alone. For example, if you'd resent mandatory meetings or occasionally being told how to dress, sorority life may not be for you.

[BabyP]

I agree that is why we set up our own, there is no you have to wear this and that (this happens alot during pledging) and rules. Some greeks demand to meet everyday. I am too busy with my schoolwork, internship and family life. I was like no thanks and it was funny how when you depledge or drop, they become two faced and act like they dont know you / or better than you. That is why I believe freshmen shouldnt be allowed to pledge so they can observe, listen and see the greek actions. IF there is a group that volunteers alot and is friendly to everyone and seems to be nice and doesnt pressure you to join, then that would get them more interested than just strutting around wearing letters and acting like those who arent are losers.....

[33girl]

I don't think that's so much a matter of personality types as it is differences in Greek systems at different colleges. I think myself and a LOT of the Greeks I knew, not just my sisters, would not have been Greek at someplace like Mizzou or LSU - we just had a more laid back atmosphere in general. We didn't have matching ANYTHING for rush, sections at football games or serenading. I don't think I would have been comfortable living in a house with 60 girls or having a 200 person hapter. On the other side of the coin I'm sure there's people on here from larger chapters that can't imagine our tiny houses or pretty much knowing everyone in the Greek system.

As we say often on here - not better or worse - just different. This is one of the reasons I support deferred rush though - so you can see Greek life actually operating. When you're just out of high school it's hard to imagine what it will be like day by day, unless you know someone who's in it, and even then it's just a glimpse.

[_Q_]

Yes, the school had the traditional fall rush, and I was a freshman. It seems like it's also possible to get so preoccupied with whether your first-choice house will want you that you can overlook the question of whether it's a good idea in the first place. If you get in, but it turns out to be a mismatch, well, you're out time and money and it's possible that someone else who may have been a better fit was passed over for that slot.

In my case, there really were some fundamental differences. One concern about PNM's during Rush was "questionable morals." This always seemed to translate to "sexually promiscuous" - it was never used in the context of, say, academic dishonesty. This disturbed me because I'd been taught that in the New Testaments, Jesus came down harder on hypocrisy than He did on sexual sins. (For example, with the adulteress, he said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.")

As appalling as it might sound to people on GC, I wouldn't have really thought of the badge, ritual, etc. as "sacred." It seems fair to say that members long ago put some thought and effort into them, and they've been shared by many women in each sorority since then. But realistically, a lot of the open mottoes seem like ... well, things that were composed by young women during the Victorian era. Nothing wrong with that, just nothing I'd consider religiously significant either. So I think my personality, like Q on Star Trek, is probably too iconoclastic for Greek Life.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by _Q_
Yes, the school had the traditional fall rush, and I was a freshman. It seems like it's also possible to get so preoccupied with whether your first-choice house will want you that you can overlook the question of whether it's a good idea in the first place. If you get in, but it turns out to be a mismatch, well, you're out time and money and it's possible that someone else who may have been a better fit was passed over for that slot.

In my case, there really were some fundamental differences. One concern about PNM's during Rush was "questionable morals." This always seemed to translate to "sexually promiscuous" - it was never used in the context of, say, academic dishonesty. This disturbed me because I'd been taught that in the New Testaments, Jesus came down harder on hypocrisy than He did on sexual sins. (For example, with the adulteress, he said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.")

As appalling as it might sound to people on GC, I wouldn't have really thought of the badge, ritual, etc. as "sacred." It seems fair to say that members long ago put some thought and effort into them, and they've been shared by many women in each sorority since then. But realistically, a lot of the open mottoes seem like ... well, things that were composed by young women during the Victorian era. Nothing wrong with that, just nothing I'd consider religiously significant either. So I think my personality, like Q on Star Trek, is probably too iconoclastic for Greek Life.

You know, Jesus also said it was HIS job to judge others. You know " Judge NOT lest ye be judged."

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by _Q_
As appalling as it might sound to people on GC, I wouldn't have really thought of the badge, ritual, etc. as "sacred." It seems fair to say that members long ago put some thought and effort into them, and they've been shared by many women in each sorority since then. But realistically, a lot of the open mottoes seem like ... well, things that were composed by young women during the Victorian era. Nothing wrong with that, just nothing I'd consider religiously significant either. So I think my personality, like Q on Star Trek, is probably too iconoclastic for Greek Life.

I pretty much agreed with most of what you said until this part. I don't consider anything related to my organization to be sacred, or religiously significant -- and really, I didn't think that anybody else did either. My badge and ritual are special to me, but I wouldn't call it sacred, but then, I'm not religious.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by _Q_
As appalling as it might sound to people on GC, I wouldn't have really thought of the badge, ritual, etc. as "sacred."

From Webster's

Main Entry: sa·cred
Pronunciation: 'sA-kr&d
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from past participle of sacren to consecrate, from Old French sacrer, from Latin sacrare, from sacr-, sacer sacred; akin to Latin sancire to make sacred, Hittite saklAi- rite
1 a : dedicated or set apart for the service or worship of a deity <a tree sacred to the gods> b : devoted exclusively to one service or use (as of a person or purpose) <a fund sacred to charity>
2 a : worthy of religious veneration : HOLY b : entitled to reverence and respect
3 : of or relating to religion : not secular or profane <sacred music>
4 archaic : ACCURSED
5 a : UNASSAILABLE, INVIOLABLE b : highly valued and important <a sacred responsibility>


"Sacred" doesn't always mean relgious...and while I can't speak for all orgs, because most have secret ritual, but it doesn't mean we "worship" our badges, letters, etc...it means we respect them and hold them in high regard...and there are many soroites that were founded on Christian principles.

[_Q_]

Fair enough. I didn't really mean to imply that anyone in the sorority worshipped badges; I just meant that some things had a lot more significance to other members than they did to me. So my choice of words probably wasn't very good.

(Link deleted)
Note: OK, it sounds like the entry was upsetting to some people, so I deleted the link and locked it. It was essentially an essay about being part of a system that didn't make sense to me. The KDs were probably some of the nicest people in that campus's Greek system, but the situation still didn't work and independent life seemed to be a better fit. At the time I wrote the essay, I was at a school without a Greek system, so it didn't seem important to change the names of the organizations. In hindsight, it probably would have been a good idea to do so before posting on GC.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by _Q_
Fair enough. I didn't really mean to imply that anyone in the sorority worshipped badges; I just meant that some things had a lot more significance to other members than they did to me. So my choice of words probably wasn't very good.

Well, assumed you knew we didn't worship our badges...it was just an example...I was trying to say that "sacred" is a fine choice of words for our ritual/badge/letters.

I guess, if you're looking for advice about your situation...there's no reason why you couldn't try rushing at your new school and if it's not for you, then maybe you're right and Greek life in general is not for you...and you haven't lost anything by trying again.

I do know more then one girl who's dropped rush/pledging because she decided that the "rules" weren't for her. We had one drop from ASA because of it...in the end, we all wished her good luck and most of us still at least said "hi" when we saw her on campus.

[_Q_]

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
I guess, if you're looking for advice about your situation...there's no reason why you couldn't try rushing at your new school and if it's not for you, then maybe you're right and Greek life in general is not for you...and you haven't lost anything by trying again.

To be very honest, I wasn't, though I appreciate your good intentions. My point was that some people are incompatible with Greek life and I think I'm one of them. Therefore, even if was an option, going back through Rush again wouldn't have been a good idea. The whole thing happened a while ago, and I'm on GC primarily because of curiousity, not any desire to join another GLO.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by cougarjim
Actually, I've built a small altar out of bras and cheerleading shorts. I keep my badge on it and bow to it every night while reciting the Greek alphabet backwards.

But seriously, Q, I do understand what you're saying, and I think you have a valid point. Nothing is for everyone.

LOL

[_Q_]

Originally posted by cougarjim
Actually, I've built a small altar out of bras and cheerleading shorts. I keep my badge on it and bow to it every night while reciting the Greek alphabet backwards.

But are you really picky about this? Do the bras have to be a certain color? Would it be unsisterly if the shorts didn't have the letters sewn across the butt?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by cougarjim
Actually, I've built a small altar out of bras and cheerleading shorts. I keep my badge on it and bow to it every night while reciting the Greek alphabet backwards.

Damn, mine's made out of thongs and those shorts with the letters across the butt...

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by _Q_
Would it be unsisterly if the shorts didn't have the letters sewn across the butt?

LOL...you were reading my mind

[_Q_]

Back when I was still living in the sorority house, I'd sometimes drape a towel over my head after washing my hair. Once, someone asked why I had a towel on my head and I said I was practicing to be a nun. They didn't think this was at all funny.