Guys and Emotion

[KellyB369]

I am just curious what the guys have to say about this or what the women have to say about how their guys are.

My last boyfriend was very good about telling me how he felt about me, our relationship and anything else.

My new boyfriend does not like to verbalize his feelings at all. He says that he does things for me (take me places and buys me things) to show me how he feels. It's not that I don't appreciate these gestures, but I would like to hear how he feels sometimes too.

Are most guys like this? Why is that women are (on the whole) better at expressing emotions than guys?

[swissmiss04]

In general the guys in my life have been sort of clamped down. The only guy I dated that expressed his emotions was really whiny and a drama queen. I think it's a good and healthy thing for a guy to open about stuff but there needs to be a balance.

[AOPIHottie]

Aw, my last boyfriend was like that. He didn't understand why I couldnt accept that he could show me his feelings, he didn't know why I had to hear it too. And its funny, because it seems most guys think-well, if I TELL her I care, then I don't have to show it, OR well, if I SHOW her I care, then I don't have to tell her.
Sorry guys, some of us want BOTH!!!!

[James]

I am not sure women are better precisely, but y'all tend to verbalize more.

Guys aren't really conditioned to show affection in the way women are. Thats an important distinction, we express it differently. Go watch a guy's guy movie and the way men bond with men is very different than the way women bond with women right?

But the way you verbalize with men, is mostly the same way you verbalize with your girlfriends isn't it? you talk about your day, what happened, how you felt about it all etc.

Well the same thing with guys, we mostly verbalize the same way we would with our guy friends, we don't talk as much about details, or feelings whether they are good or bad, and we tend to leave a lot of stuff unsaid.

Its just a different strategy. Keep in mind I am generalizing.

There are guys that verbalize very well, and girls that don't.

If it bothers you, find a guy that verbalizes, you are unlikely to make your boy start doing it. And you might be very unhappy if its something that you need.

Originally posted by KellyB369

Are most guys like this? Why is that women are (on the whole) better at expressing emotions than guys?

[KellyB369]

Originally posted by James
I am not sure women are better precisely, but y'all tend to verbalize more.

I will give you that.

Thank you for being the one brave guy to respond. I know that guys generally are conditioned to communicate differently, if at all. Since I tend to have long term relationships rather than dating a lot of people I just wanted to see if this was pretty much the norm for guys.
I'm afraid that I may have to find a guy who can verbalize more, but for now I am not ready to take that road.

[Lady Pi Phi]

I always hear that guys respond more to visual stimuli and girls respond better to verbal stimuli.
Which is why guys would rather show you how they feel and girls want to hear it.

I don't know how true that is. Just a guess.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by KellyB369
I am just curious what the guys have to say about this or what the women have to say about how their guys are.

My last boyfriend was very good about telling me how he felt about me, our relationship and anything else.

My new boyfriend does not like to verbalize his feelings at all. He says that he does things for me (take me places and buys me things) to show me how he feels. It's not that I don't appreciate these gestures, but I would like to hear how he feels sometimes too.

Are most guys like this? Why is that women are (on the whole) better at expressing emotions than guys?

I think some of this is biological. There are theories that men tend to think with one hemisphere and women tend to think with both hemispheres. When you think with both hemispheres, it is easier to translate your feelings (right brain) into words (left brain). Supposedly, women have larger corpus collosums which "bridges" the left and right hemispheres.

[sigtau305]

Originally posted by KellyB369
I am just curious what the guys have to say about this or what the women have to say about how their guys are.

My last boyfriend was very good about telling me how he felt about me, our relationship and anything else.

My new boyfriend does not like to verbalize his feelings at all. He says that he does things for me (take me places and buys me things) to show me how he feels. It's not that I don't appreciate these gestures, but I would like to hear how he feels sometimes too.

Are most guys like this? Why is that women are (on the whole) better at expressing emotions than guys?

while I can't speak for every guy in the world, I have no problem expressing my feelings. One of my Biggest Codes when in a relationship is to be open and honest as much as possible. it's not a matter of showing how you feel ( even though it doesn't hurt), saying it makes that person more appreciative of you.