How do you know who is "real"?

MsFoxyLoxy77 · #1 09-15-2003, 10:31 PM

I was talking to my best friend last night. She's a little uncertain about the people who have been speaking to her. She just became a member of XYZ at the end of this past spring. Now, people who were associates of hers before are now even more friendly towards her. Here's her dilemma: Are these girls being more friendly towards her because they generally have become more interested in being around her? OR Are these girls being more friendly towards her just because they want her to put in a good word for them? My friend is a genuine person and says she would feel at ease if she knew whether or not these girls were interested in XYZ. Nevertheles, she doesn't know if they are interested in XYZ yet. She feels awful for even assuming that these girls have a motive at all. I've know her for years and she's the most down to earth person I know. She's always been outgoing and would hate to associate with people who are treating her better because she's an XYZ when they just said hi and bye to her a year ago.

Does this commonly happen after one becomes greek? Does your first name become Beta Brian or Theta Tiffany? How can you tell who's "real"?

nachural · #2 09-17-2003, 11:28 AM

Well Ii'm a GDI and at my school most greek affiliates are know by their organisation as in betty the beta etc. However I guess she can wait to see of these girls come to her programs and then it should be obvious if they are "real." But even if they do come it doesnt neccessarily mean that these girls are fake. If they are taking a new interest in her it could mean they look up to her now that she has crossed as they might believe she is a stronger person. Or they probably didnt know she was interested in greek life before and now that she is they have something more in common with her. It doesnt have to be a bad thing.

nachural

KSigkid · #3 09-18-2003, 07:48 PM

I've found it to be interesting - when I pledged, some of my non-Greek friends shyed away and were "disappointed" I'd chosen to go Greek, but after initiation they were big fans again. In situations like that you have to be wary of the motives.

I don't know - I can be cynical about this sort of thing, and would tend to lean towards fakeness - however nachural brings up some good points.

Senusret I · #4 09-19-2003, 09:36 AM

Well.......

Sometimes, people are just really happy because you made an accomplishment in your life. Not everyone who is more friendly to you necessarily wants something.

Oh, I have a good example.....for two years, when there was a new line at my school, I would try to get the members of the line a little gift. Actually, it was always the same gift: a mirrored keychain of the founding year of the org. I did this for the AKAs and the Kappas, because they were the only ones bringing in new members. Did I want to be a Kappa? HECKS NO. But I knew of these cats before they were Greek...and even if I didn't know them well, I was still happy for them. Didn't want to give one a gift and not all of them (lines were small anyway). Okay, so I'm rambling now.....

Of course there are those who are suck-ups....but like the above person stated, they will know for sure once there are public programs. I know the Kappas at my school NEVER saw me at their programs, lol. God bless 'em.

LawyerGal · #5 09-22-2003, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MsFoxyLoxy77

Does this commonly happen after one becomes greek? Does your first name become Beta Brian or Theta Tiffany? How can you tell who's "real"?

I think she should know going in that things will change and people will see her as "theta Tiffany".... maybe just tell her only time will tell who is really real.

As an Interest, Memberfriends I have gotten to know well is partly b/c I am interested in the Org and partly b/c the women are very down to earth, interesting, committed and caring women with so much wisdom to share. So its a win/win!

In her new "status" she will more than likely get all sorts but only time will tell who is "real." They may have their interest in mind but that doesn't mean they do not genuinely want to get to know her and become friends as well.

AKA2D '91 · #6 05-10-2004, 08:20 AM

ttt

#7 05-10-2004, 10:34 AM

The people who were speaking before are the real ones.

Everyone else is speaking as a result of ole girl now being part of XYZ. Whether they are happy or suckin up it is still a direct result of her being in XYZ.

She just needs to keep all of her NEW found friends at an arms distance until she can decipher who is who. My advice would be to only vouch, write letters for those folks she knew before she crossed.

Real is truly a matter of perception. So she has to ultimately decide who is being real with her.

SKEEphistAKAte · #8 05-10-2004, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Senusret I

Oh, I have a good example.....for two years, when there was a new line at my school, I would try to get the members of the line a little gift. Actually, it was always the same gift: a mirrored keychain of the founding year of the org. I did this for the AKAs and the Kappas, because they were the only ones bringing in new members. Did I want to be a Kappa? HECKS NO. But I knew of these cats before they were Greek...and even if I didn't know them well, I was still happy for them. Didn't want to give one a gift and not all of them (lines were small anyway). Okay, so I'm rambling now.....

Were you rich?

AKA2D '91 · #9 05-10-2004, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SKEEphistAKAte
Were you rich?

Or on crack? LOL

j/k

Senusret I · #10 05-10-2004, 01:43 PM

Neither.....our Greek community was small and it was easy to get like 5 AKA keychains or 4 Kappa keychains at a time.

SKEEphistAKAte · #11 05-11-2004, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Senusret I
Neither.....our Greek community was small and it was easy to get like 5 AKA keychains or 4 Kappa keychains at a time.

Oh, I see. Coming from FAMU where lines were around 40+, you'd have to be Donald Trump Jr. to pull that off. You were generous nonetheless.

blackerican · #12 05-11-2004, 09:11 PM

Sorry for the hijack but.....I just became a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. (on 4-17-04 to be exact!!!) and I notice that the females on my campus are very friendly towards me now. Some have even ask me to give them "advanced notice" of a Rush!! Now, let me tell you that these are people who I've never spoken to before in my life. All they know is that I'm "that Delta chick".

Senusret I · #13 05-11-2004, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SKEEphistAKAte
Oh, I see. Coming from FAMU where lines were around 40+, you'd have to be Donald Trump Jr. to pull that off. You were generous nonetheless.

he he....thanks

Yeah, if I went to FAMU, I'd be giving out dap and high fives.

SKEEphistAKAte · #14 05-12-2004, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Senusret I
he he....thanks

Yeah, if I went to FAMU, I'd be giving out dap and high fives.

..smiles and well-wishes, LOL