Recs: do or die????

[kdonline]

It happens every year, this time of year.

The greekchat regulars get PNMs worked up over finding recommendations.

I feel that, as someone who attended a competitive greek school, and has been writing recs in a large city for PNMs who attend every college in Florida and all over the country, I just have to say this:

Please stop stressing out the PNMs.

As I said in another thread, not having a rec WILL NOT KILL the PNM. Even @ an SEC school.

1) if the PNM is really outstanding (ie makes it to 3rd round), THE CHAPTER WILL SECURE THE REC! It is no big deal. We/they do it all the time. Plenty of alumnae help out during rush, and this is all that they do! They just stand there, waiting to be introduced to PNMs...and secretly sign a rec form if needed.

ETA: Also, sororities have reference chairmen / coordinators. These are members who do not rush. Their sole job is to coordinate all the recs they've received and work on getting recommendations for PNMs the chapter is interested in.

2) MANY sororities - even @ SEC schools - do not require a recommendation. Rather, they must "make the effort" to get the rec. Many chapters get recs AFTER the girls have pledged...and this is fine with their HQs.

A recommendation used to be an automatic ticket back to second round, but it isn't any more. Sure, it's a courtesy to the alum who wrote it. But chapters realize that alumnae write recs for girls they don't know. And the chapter has the discretion to drop anyone they want - even a triple legacy with 20 recs.

So ladies, please stop being overbearing. You will not die in rush without recs ahead of time.