Things that make you go hmmmmmm?

[ThetaPrincess24]

I got this email from my dad while I was gone over the weekend. I found it humorous and would like to share it.


GEORGE CARLIN STRIKES AGAIN

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the
Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one
enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian
faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread to begin with?

9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person
who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for
their final exam.

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?

18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are
the others here for?

19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
zigzag?

21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

[PhiPsiRuss]

I love George Carlin. He is one of the funniest comedians, and a ground-breaking one too.

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by russellwarshay
I love George Carlin. He is one of the funniest comedians, and a ground-breaking one too.

Agree.

Just great stuff.

[DigitalAngel126]

Cosign. I LOVE Carlin....I used to hate him, I thought he was vile, but that's when I was younger...Big fan now.

[justamom]

Add me to the George Carlin fan club!

[tinydancer]

When I was an undergrad (yeah, before most of you were born) my boyfriend called me up one night and said "Listen to THIS" and played me the whole first side of George Carlin: AM and FM. I was laughing my butt off, and my roomie sat there saying "WHAT is he SAYING????" It wasn't ole Steve talking at all - it was George!

I still think he is hilarious!

[sigtau305]

cool thread. I enjoy George Carlin very much.

[Hootie]

HA HA HA!
Those made me laugh

[rainbowbrightCS]

thanks I needed a good laugh.

[CatStarESP4]

I love George Carlin! He is hilarious!

[Kevin]

This sounds like one of those urban legend type threads that sound like something out of a Carlin act, but aren't.

Checked on Snopes, didn't find it specifically, but several like it.

http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-q...&sp-m=1&sp-s=0

[Hootie]

Originally posted by ktsnake
This sounds like one of those urban legend type threads that sound like something out of a Carlin act, but aren't.

Checked on Snopes, didn't find it specifically, but several like it.

http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-q...&sp-m=1&sp-s=0

Didn't it make you laugh? If so, who cares who wrote it

Nothing but love

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally posted by ktsnake
This sounds like one of those urban legend type threads that sound like something out of a Carlin act, but aren't.

Checked on Snopes, didn't find it specifically, but several like it.

http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-q...&sp-m=1&sp-s=0

I honestly dont care who wrote it. I got it from an email my dad sent me that his brother sent him (which I believe I said at the start of this thread). I found it funny so i shared it........You sound like those liberals in the news and politics forum that like a citation for everything.........

It's intention was to make people laugh and/or smile...........so laugh and chill out

[moe.ron]

Originally posted by ktsnake
This sounds like one of those urban legend type threads that sound like something out of a Carlin act, but aren't.

Checked on Snopes, didn't find it specifically, but several like it.

http://search.atomz.com/search/?sp-q...&sp-m=1&sp-s=0

It's true George Calin didn't write it.

http://www.georgecarlin.com/georgeca...dontblame.html

As for saying who cares, I believed George Carlin would care.

Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.

Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Bump


Not an email or a George Carlin routine, but something that makes me go hmmmmmmmm is the...

2-man luge(sp?)