Trying to decide if he is the right guy to ask to formal?

annice22 · #1 02-26-2004, 10:36 PM

I'm thinking of asking this one guy I sort of kind of seen earlier last school year to Formal (if that makes any sense). Well there are a few issues with this decision. First I need to find out if he's single. Second he use to and probably still uses drugs. A lot of his brothers in his fraternity does (not all but a few). So, I need to make sure he is clean.

The other problem is we do not really speak anymore so I need to start speaking with him again to become friends again. We stopped speaking because he was a total jerk over the summer and was really drunk and keep sexaully harrassing me at the bar over the summer. He appologized but then did it again. So I stopped speaking to.

Maybe many of you will say that this friendship is and was doomed and I should just try to find another formal date. But I guess I still kind of like him and would like to go to my formal with him if he is available.

So I called him today and left him my new phone number not sure if he will call but I sure I will probably see him around some time before formal. Formal is not until April so I have time to kind of talk to him.

I don't know what should I do?

I will update everyone with my progress if any?

AXJules · #2 02-26-2004, 10:59 PM

Personally I don't think formal dates are that big of a deal. There will be more in your years at college.

That being said, he sounds like a bad drunk that you'll be babysitting all night. I'd pass.

AGDee · #3 02-26-2004, 11:08 PM

Ditto what Jules said. Besides, I've seen issues where someone's date did some major damage at a formal. Be careful who you take or they can get your whole chapter in trouble.

Dee

annice22 · #4 02-27-2004, 10:09 AM

I know and anything I say will just be an excus for this guy. His fraternity had formal there for homecoming and one of alumni sister's who is dating one of their alumni said that they did not cause any damage.

But I am still looking I have not totally decided if I would ask him.

It's been almost 2 years and I sure he's probably grown up but there is still a lot of bad history in between the good history.

astroAPhi · #5 02-27-2004, 11:40 AM

Is there anything better at your school? Seriously, this guy sounds like major scum.

Ask a guy friend (besides this one).

chideltjen · #6 02-27-2004, 05:24 PM

i have three major questions i ask myself before asking a guy to formal:
1) does he dance?
2) does he drink (and i mean REALLY drink)?
3) can he be a gentleman throughout the night while among my sisters?

I have been to formals with guys that don't meet these qualities and i have had a crap time. Even if he doesn't dance well, if he makes the effort to at least try, I am happy. But even my ex bf that i took to two formals were not fun because he was whiny when they wouldn't play the music he liked and he kept groping me all night.
And i have seen girls with dates that get hammered and don't even make it to the formal, so the girl is left behind with her date passed out in a hotel room.

I have better luck with good guy friends that i have no romantic interest in. it just makes the night go easier.

annice22 · #7 02-28-2004, 07:15 AM

I talked to him last night and he's clean. He didn't get my message because the pledge who answered the phone didn't give only just him the message but also a lot active their message and so I feel a little bad for the pledge. I'm pretty sure he's probably in a little trouble. I know the fraternities president and he didn't get a message from his fiance either.

So I maybe will invite him to formal but I'm just going to give it some time and hang out with him again to be sure.

AlphaPhiBubbles · #8 03-04-2004, 04:21 AM

I'm kind of going through an issue like this...except not as extreme. I need a date for our T-shirt dance this saturday and my first choice will be out of town, so I'm trying to figure out who else to bring. Honestly I'm not very excited about my options so my criteria has been limited to:

guys that are friends with my friends dates
guys that can dance
guys that I know will be fun and not drama

this guy your describing doesnt seem to fit in these categories and it seems to me that being set up with a stranger would be better for you....set ups always work out really well for us because me and my sisters/friends know each other well enough to know who we get along with.

my 2 cents!

annice22 · #9 03-28-2004, 03:23 PM

I'm starting to freak out because I have formal this Friday April 2nd and I still do not have a confirmed date. I have asked 3 guys now. The first guy was the guy in first post, the second guy is in another fraternity and I just found out that his fraternity is having a ritual night at formal; he could go but he would show up near the end of formal. The 3rd guy I asked him last night but he has to ask his girlfriend if he can take me. So now I have to find and ask at least 2-3 more guys until I find a date.

This is my last formal and I want it to be really nice.

I don't know is there someting with me that I can not get a date. Everyone that I know has found a date except me.

I'll let you know if I find a date.

Annice

Phi Sig For Life..................

James · #10 03-28-2004, 03:42 PM

Can't you go stag? I mean now you are at the point where you are asking just to ask . . and you were going to take a confirmed imbecile.

You know all your sisters right? That sounds like a good time . . I mean if you think going alone makes you into a loser . . well you are just as much a loser if you drag just anyone along so that you can be seen with him.

It sound almost like you finding a date is like finding the right pair of black shoes to go with your dress, I mean you preferred Prada, but now that we are down to the wire, any ole thing spray painted from Payless will do . . .

Hell if you are going to do that why not just hire a male exotic dancer or escort? At least that will give you eye candy and someone attentive.

Well good luck,

Mr. Sympathy

AlethiaSi · #11 03-28-2004, 04:04 PM

i agree with james... but not so harshly

i always have a blast when i go by myself or bring a girlfriend- i brought my two best friends from d phi e to our formal and we had a blast... guys are cool- but you might end up babysitting him if he doens't know your sisters... just a thought....

Buttonz · #12 03-28-2004, 08:22 PM

Don't take this guy. He sounds like a total looser, and I have stories of what can happen if you take thewrong guy to formal (one of the dates last year got us kicked outof the place because of what he did) Also, don't bring someone you might end up having to babysit, it wil ruin your night!

Now if only I could figure out who I am taking............