Just wondering if this is normal...
Hey ladies, I was just initiated this spring and every night when I go to bed I still feel lonely. Even though I'm on the hall, I don't really feel a part of things. This week is Greek Week and I've tried so hard to volunteer for everything I can and show up to everything but it's like I'm invisible. I don't really feel close to any of the sisters beyond a "hey, how are you" in the hall. I'm not big on partying and I feel like the only way that I can bond with them is by going out. I went to the bball game tonight ready to play and didn't get to go in at all. Everyone else got to play. And believe me, I let them know that I wanted to go in and support ADpi. It's the same with lipsync, softball, and bullriding. Nobody acts like they want to do it and I keep volunteering but they always end up giving it to another sister. I sit in my room on the computer most of the time it seems or run errands by myself. I see the girls always laying out together or going shopping but it seems like whenever I ask, nobody wants to go. Wow, I sound like a huge loser. I'm sorry ladies, but I just read about the bonds and I want that so bad and I don't know what else to do. I just feel so alone and I hate that. I feel like I try so hard and no one cares or wants me here. We were learning about MS and I feel like if I had gone through formal recruitment I wouldn't have gotten a bid. They found out that I have a history with an eating disorder and the advisors tried to keep me from getting initiated. Now I'm under constant scrutiny for that and I just feel like if I ever act sad, I'll get in trouble. Anyways, thanks for reading this and any advise you have would be great. I try to come here as much as possible but I have a huge project due Thurs so I'll try to check back as much as possible. Hugs, Katie
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