Cohabitation

nikki25 · #1 06-13-2001, 03:27 PM

According to the U.S. Census, cohabitation (the act of two unmarried persons living together) has increased over the last decade at a rate of 72%. Cost and familiarity consideratons have led many to consider living together before marriage. Some couples cohabitate as a marital alternative. Others view pre-marital co-habitation as too tempting or an action that invites sin.

What do you think about cohabitation? Have you considered it? If so, why? Why don't/do you believe in cohabitation?

[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited June 13, 2001).]

AKA2D '91 · #2 06-13-2001, 03:50 PM

I think, rather I know that I would not "shack" up, I mean cohabitate. I just would not want to PRIOR to marriage. I know how I am. Sometimes, I just want my space, ALONE, with myself! Yet, I can visit you, you can visit me, but YOU need your OWN place, I need my own place!

Simple as that!

Ideal08 · #3 06-13-2001, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
I think, rather I know that I would not "shack" up, I mean cohabitate. I just would not want to PRIOR to marriage. I know how I am. Sometimes, I just want my space, ALONE, with myself! Yet, I can visit you, you can visit me, but YOU need your OWN place, I need my own place!

Simple as that!

I COMPLETELY agree, soror. I tried the co-habitation thing. Been there, done that, doubt if I'll do it again. And now, I've become a lot stingier with my time and my personal space.

Eastcoast Sunshine · #4 06-13-2001, 04:07 PM

Quote:

I tried the co-habitation thing. Been there, done that, doubt if I'll do it again. And now, I've become a lot stingier with my time and my personal space.

AMEN...I agree (3X)...I'll need my own bathroom too because sharing one w/my boyfriend at that time was not working

MIDWESTDIVA · #5 06-13-2001, 04:09 PM

Been there done that too. I didn't want to do it then, but I was trying to be nice.

Besides, I got tired of feeling guilty every Sunday in church. LOL

DST Love · #6 06-13-2001, 04:09 PM

I would never and will never SHACK up. I think most people think that it prepares them for possible marriage. But I think it doesn't because their mindset is not that of someone married. They both know they can leave at any time with out any serious reprecussions. I doubt seriously that both people are completely thinking of a full commitment while living together. Because if they were, wouldn't they just get married?! Also, it'd be too easy for someone to constantly throw in the other's face, "You're not my wife/husband". It'd be like, then what's the point of living together if it's the same as just being in a non-shack up relationship. Until YOU and I decide to become a WE for life, like AKA2D '91 said, 'I can visit you, you can visit me, but YOU need your OWN place, I need my own place'.

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#10 Sigma (Clark Atlanta University) Spring 1999
Currently: MAL, Southern Region

CocoaCaramel · #7 06-13-2001, 04:24 PM

I agree with everyone. I don't think I could do it. I need my OWN space. I shared a room all my life. I think living together (for me) would kinda take away from the excitement of getting married. Then again I have never been married before.
But as far as living in sin most people are doing that or worse BEFORE they cohabitate.

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"I don't know. you be the judge."
~Hits

Chi_ZETABBW · #8 06-13-2001, 05:21 PM

Hmmmm! Cohabitating for me has its good and bad. Much like a marriage has its good and bad. I'll proably never do it again, but can't say for certain. I don't judge anyone who does.

Riley · #9 06-13-2001, 08:11 PM

I would first like to say hello to everyone since this is my first time posting.
I want to say living together is definately a personal preference. It definately has its good and its bad. I have been co-habitating for past few years. During that time I have gotten engaged and I am planning a wedding for sometime next year. I do consider myself a moody person who requaires a LOT of space at time. However, we decided that we have to overcome the many obstacles

that come our way. The first thing I tell anyone who wants to "shack-up" is to think about it LONG AND HARD. It is not a decision to be taken litely. You will learn quite a bit about your mate durning your "stay" together. (some things you just don't want to know)

DreamfulOne · #10 06-13-2001, 09:07 PM

I don't believe in co-habitating w/ a male prior to marriage. I believe that this leaves room for temptation (sin) to enter in as well as take the anticipation of moving in and settling w/ my God-given husband. I'll just wait until I'm married so that we can have something to official call the "so&so" residence.

Da Luvbug · #11 06-13-2001, 11:49 PM

If I had to do it all over again I'd definitely live with my hubby before marriage. We just made our ninth anniversary and I have to say that the nine months that we lived together prior to marrying was a positive experience for both of us and actually brought us closer together. It just further reinforced the fact that we really wanted to take our relationship to the next level

DST Love · #12 06-14-2001, 09:33 AM

My boyfriend's cousin was living with her 'man' for about seven years. Every year they were planning to be married. I mean they would inform the wedding party and start making plans. So after all of that, he's married to someone else now.

I think if you date someone long enough and in the right 'manner', then you will learn as much as you need to in order to learn to live and deal with them. I've been with my boyfriend for, let's just say, quite some time. I doubt seriously that there's too much that would surprise us about each other in terms of living together. And if there is, it's nothing that would make us leave each other over.

I want marriage to begin when we're married (or a month or so prior to the wedding). I don't want to be living together for a while, then go get married, go on a honeymoon, and then come back to the same ol' same ol'. I'd like it to be at least a little fresh.

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#10 Sigma (Clark Atlanta University) Spring 1999
Currently: MAL, Southern Region

[This message has been edited by DST Love (edited June 14, 2001).]

Miss. Mocha · #13 06-14-2001, 11:49 AM

I didn't "shack up" with my husband before we were married, and if I had it to do again, I would do it the same.

The idea of living with him before we were marry just didn't sit well with me.

The Original Ape · #14 06-14-2001, 11:57 AM

I don't see anything wrong with it myself; in fact, if I were engaged, I would convince my bride to be to live with me a couple of months. It would be the best way to see her habits, and allow her to see mine. Living together may tell us if we're capable of getting tired of one another too. It would answer my question of can I live with her for the rest of my life or not.

The Original Ape · #15 06-14-2001, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sphinxpoet:
Question,
What if you don't live with that person get married and find out you drive each other up the wall? Should you divorce then?

All questions are those and only those of the Sphinxpoet

THAT'S WHY I believe you SHOULD live together BEFORE you jump the broom!