Non Member Wearing Badge

Sciencewoman · #1 06-18-2012, 09:38 PM

How would you handle this situation: this past fall one of our new members told me quietly after a new member meeting that one of her professors was wearing her mother's Gamma Phi Beta badge. The prof. approached the new member in class and they had a polite conversation about her mother and she said that she likes to wear her badge in her memory. We didn't know what to do, because I didn't want to offend a colleague (I don't know her; she's in another dept.) or say anything when the new member was still in her class. I also thought about making a friendly contact. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt...maybe she didn't know, and if it means that much to her, maybe she'd make a good AI candidate. Then I just forgot about it.

Sooooo...today I was in her building and I happened to stop to look at the big hallway bulletin board featuring teaching award winners and there she is...wearing the badge in her picture! This is a professional, studio portrait! The badge is obviously a historical design. Now I've gone from viewing this a case of well-meaning ignorance to an outright impersonation/masquerade ...I looked her up, and she is not a Gamma Phi.

What would you do?

SWTXBelle · #2 06-18-2012, 09:48 PM

Would she be suitable for alumnae initiation?

Seriously - this could be an opportunity. She's winning awards, so obviously distinguished in her field. Thanks to the connection with her mother, she already has a relationship with Gamma Phi. It could be a win-win.

I don't see anyway to wrest the badge away from her without it being very awkward. Take those lemons and make some lemonade, IF she meets membership criteria.

She may well not realize exactly the implication of wearing it - non-greeks often don't.

Sciencewoman · #3 06-18-2012, 10:23 PM

I am inclined to agree with you. Also, I now have a valid reason to make contact, without having to say that her student reported it to me...since she is wearing the badge so obviously, it invites a contact. My first thought, before I recognized the name as being the same professor, was, "oh, there's a Gamma Phi!"

I'll let you know how it goes....

homeward*bound · #4 06-18-2012, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Would she be suitable for alumnae initiation?

Seriously - this could be an opportunity. She's winning awards, so obviously distinguished in her field. Thanks to the connection with her mother, she already has a relationship with Gamma Phi. It could be a win-win.

I don't see anyway to wrest the badge away from her without it being very awkward. Take those lemons and make some lemonade, IF she meets membership criteria.

She may well not realize exactly the implication of wearing it - non-greeks often don't.

I absolutely agree with this. As Greeks, we understand the meaning behind badges and the significance of wearing them. I don't think the average non-Greek understands any of that.

I lost my mother when I was a very young adult. It's hard to express how much comfort I received from wearing her jewelry, and I can understand how it may make your colleague feel.

She's probably unaware of our alumnae initiation program. Although I obviously don't know her personally, given her tie to our sorority, ties to your school, and professional accomplishments, she sounds like the kind of candidate we might be interested in approaching.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I am inclined to agree with you. Also, I now have a valid reason to make contact, without having to say that her student reported it to me...since she is wearing the badge so obviously, it invites a contact. My first thought, before I recognized the name as being the same professor, was, "oh, there's a Gamma Phi!"

I'll let you know how it goes....

Good luck! I'm eager to learn how things turn out.

Sciencewoman · #5 06-19-2012, 11:32 AM

OK...I'll let you all know how it goes (most likely via PM).

Senusret I · #6 06-19-2012, 12:49 PM

I am nosy, please let me know, too.

LOL in all seriousness, this has been an eye-opening thread on many levels. I hope it works out for you.

amIblue? · #7 06-19-2012, 05:04 PM

I can't blame a non member for wanting to wear the Gamma Phi badge. It's gorgeous.

shirley1929 · #8 06-19-2012, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I am nosy, please let me know, too.

Second this! Understand if you can't though...

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I can't blame a non member for wanting to wear the Gamma Phi badge. It's gorgeous.

And this!

pbear19 · #9 06-20-2012, 06:44 PM

I hope that it goes well! If she is a good candidate, which she sounds like on paper, I hope she considers it.

IndianaSigKap · #10 06-20-2012, 07:35 PM

Sciencewoman my hat is off to you. You handled this situation with grace and class. You have done justice to your organization, for sure. After reading your initial post, I thought how I would have handled it in that moment and I know I would not have done nearly as well as you. AI would have never crossed my mind at all.

Sciencewoman · #11 06-20-2012, 09:22 PM

^^^ Aw...the next time a whiny PNM says that GCers are all meanies, she should look at this thread. I think we should all pat ourselves on the back for being so nice!

I just sent the e-mail. Now we wait and see....

FSUZeta · #12 06-20-2012, 10:32 PM

this is as exciting as any rush thread! and i agree, you handled the situation with grace and class.

ASUADPi · #13 06-21-2012, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

this is as exciting as any rush thread! and i agree, you handled the situation with grace and class.

It is! I'm like "oh I hope she responds and she is interested".

I am also interested in "hearing" how this goes. She sounds like she would make an amazing addition to the Gamma Phi Beta sisterhood.

Tulip86 · #14 06-21-2012, 07:49 AM

Wow, you handled that witch such grace, I'm not sure if I could have managed that!

I'm very curious to see hear if she's interested!

DrPhil · #15 06-21-2012, 08:36 AM

This is interesting and you were very kind.

lane swerve/

As for Delta, I would have told the woman that I truly respect her love for her mother. Then I would explain (what she probably already knows which is) that wearing such things is reserved for members of DST. Then I would have said that, if she is interested, she can pursue alumnae chapter membership and (if this woman is awesome) I would offer to write her a letter of recommendation. Chances are, given her education level and that she is a Delta legacy who is wearing her mother's Delta item, she already knows about alumnae chapter membership. But telling her is worth a try. She may not be interested in (possibly) becoming a member. If she declined pursuing membership in DST through an alumnae chapter, my response to her would change accordingly all while still being professional and respecting her as a Delta legacy who is celebrating her mother's (my Soror) memory.

As an aside, I have known college students who wore their deceased parents' NPHC GLO items. That was handled much differently because 1) these were college students; and 2) it was seen as an intentional mockery when you walk up to a group of collegiate NPHC GLO members wearing an item with a "it was my deceased father's/mother's item and now it's mine--I dare you say something" smirk on your face.

/lane swerve