the bad boy....

[AlethiaSi]

i was seeing this guy before i came to london for about a year- he was a perfect match physically for me- everything that i want- but he wasn't too bright. he was in the bad boy frat- and he also had a girlfriend that i knew through a friend and she went to another school... he and i were seeing each other before they started dating- and after i found out about her (and she found out about me)- i refused to go on with it- after a big fight- we stopped tlasking and i was so upset- i started to get over it- and then he called me- we started seeing each other again... like he was at my house constantly- and i know she found out abou tit- but she stayed with him anyway.... (i didn't like her anyway ) but he never would stay at my house- we didn't hang out during the day really- and i was always around when it was convenient- my friends didn't like him but the sex was incredible- and i thought i could just be casual and not care.... damn was i wrong- one night he's like- i love you so much- i was like what?! after that he started hanging around more... i put off telling him i was going ot london.... because i didnt' know how to tell him... then right before i came here- we got into a huge fight b/c he was freaking out that i was leaving.... and we hadn't spoken since- i think about him allll the time here- no guys are appealing to me- and i'm always dreaming about him.... i'm embarrassed that i can't get over him- he stands against everything that i stand for in a guy... but i just can't stop....

i found out through one of my ssiters that he broke up with his girlfriend... so what do i do...?
...i called him.... i'm so dumb! i am embarrassed now b/c i gave in... the conversation was fine- i think he was a little freaked that i was calling him- we talked for like 20 minutes... but i have no resolution... he's still there- and i'm here.... i need to stop thinking about him... and i don't have anyone else to focus on- i've gone on dates here- but they don't measure up at all.... waht should i do?