Ready to be done

Roseblum15 · #1 10-20-2003, 12:53 AM

What do youhat do when you are just so fed up with your sorority that you are ready to quit? I love my letters and my sisters, but there just seems to be to much drama all the time. How do I know if this is just not the right thing for me anymore? I don't know what to do. I am just so frustrated right now.

WhirlwindTNX · #2 10-20-2003, 01:08 AM

First I would just say that you would have to talk to them. I don't know you're situation.

But I do know that if you don't communicate then you can't expect them to understand.

Kevin · #3 10-20-2003, 01:38 AM

One thing I'd caution you to remember is that your GLO is for life. Not for 4 years. If you can, tough it out. You will have friendships from your chapter and those that you may encounter later that will last a lifetime because of your organization.

Good luck in your situation though.

polarpi · #4 10-20-2003, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Roseblum15
What do youhat do when you are just so fed up with your sorority that you are ready to quit? I love my letters and my sisters, but there just seems to be to much drama all the time. How do I know if this is just not the right thing for me anymore? I don't know what to do. I am just so frustrated right now.

I'm kinda counseling a sister through a similar situation at the moment, and all I keep telling her is to continue to remember what attracted her to the sisterhood in the first place. She graduates this year, and I have told her over and over again that there are so many wonderful sisters out here (away from school) that love the organization as much as she does, and who are much different than anyone you know from the chapter....the things that are making you upset at the moment may be related to your chapter, or could be another thing all together. If you can continue to work through the drama (and I do agree with the others that you must talk to your sisters), I think you'll come out on the other side as a stronger woman and a definite asset to your sisterhood for life!

Best of luck!

33girl · #5 10-20-2003, 10:06 AM

I know I have said this a couple times on here but have a place that you and only you know about on or near campus to get away from the drama. It can be a non-Greek friend's apartment, a corner of the library, a shop downtown tucked away on a side street...whatever. Everyone needs "me time" and with cell phones and IM (turn these off, incidentally) it is getting harder and harder to find. It might not make whatever is the issue of the moment go away, but it will make you feel refreshed.

The people I saw get the most stressed out about sorority stuff were those who had no other friends and nothing outside of the sorority. It should be part of your social life, not all of it.

and like whirlwind said -- don't go ballistic but don't hide it either. Saying "everything is fine" through clenched teeth just makes things 100x worse.

honeychile · #6 10-20-2003, 10:44 AM

What year are you in at school? How long have you been in your sorority?

I think you'll find that quite a few people go through "Senior Burnout" - no matter HOW much you love your sorority. If this is the case, listen to 33girl, and make some "me time" for starters. If you can talk things out with your sisters calmly, do so.

Good luck!

Munchkin03 · #7 10-20-2003, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
The people I saw get the most stressed out about sorority stuff were those who had no other friends and nothing outside of the sorority. It should be part of your social life, not all of it.

So, so true. I saw this happen with our president last year...she got burned out at the end of the year and virtually disappeared. Since being in the house was a fairly minor part of my life (all of my closest friends are independent and I spent a lot of time in the art and architecture studios), I remained pretty active and enthusiastic until the end, and am an active alumna.

Tom Earp · #8 10-20-2003, 06:46 PM

Plainly said, Suck it up!

I have been doing this for 38 years!

You have no idea about the burnout periods! They will still come, depending on how involved you are!

So desire!

Hang and Do!

ADPi-Jen · #9 10-20-2003, 10:06 PM

As someone who actively considered quitting (more than once), I have to say don't...Now that I am an alum, I am so glad that I stayed. There was a lot of drama and some of our members did quit. I am still in touch with a few of them, and they regret quitting the chapter more than anything else!

I really love my org, my letters, and my sisters. There are some people who you will never be friends with, this happens even with blood sisters.

Personally, I feel like a much stronger person for toughing out the drama and I'm so happy that I didn't relinquish my beautiful badge to such catty drama. If you can hang in there, I highly suggest doing so.

Easier said then done..I know. Here are some things I would reccomend:

Talking...yes only if its civilized and really getting somewhere. Sometimes no matter how much talking happens, nothing will be resolved and things can even get worse. It would depend on your situation though. If all parties involved are willing and want to make it better/make it work...talking will likely help.

Sometimes though, it takes one person to step up and be the bigger person. If you stop talking about a given situation, maybe others will too. Eventually things could fade off and be forgotten. Find your closest sisters and ask them to help you put an end to the gossip. (Ok, so maybe gossip isn't your chapters main source of drama...but I've found no matter what the situation with young women gossip ususally isn't far off...so thats why I mentioned it).

I absoutely agree with the "Me" time. Its not selfish...its SANITY. Your entire life cannot revolve around your GLO. Make sure you are involved with other things outside your GLO- on campus or off. Sisters will ususally understand if you miss a couple of events to take some time for your self to gather your thoughts and keep your sanity.

In the end though, you have to make a decision thats right for you. But, because you say you love your letters & your sisters, I feel like you would probably seriously regret it if you quit.

Good Luck with your decision. I'll be thinking about you.

Roseblum15 · #10 10-20-2003, 11:13 PM

Thank you for all the input. I really appreciate you guys giving me all sorts of info. SOmetimes its good for someone to tell me to jsut suck it up.

Quote:

Originally posted by ADPi-Jen

I absoutely agree with the "Me" time. Its not selfish...its SANITY. Your entire life cannot revolve around your GLO. Make sure you are involved with other things outside your GLO- on campus or off. Sisters will ususally understand if you miss a couple of events to take some time for your self to gather your thoughts and keep your sanity.

In the end though, you have to make a decision thats right for you. But, because you say you love your letters & your sisters, I feel like you would probably seriously regret it if you quit.

Good Luck with your decision. I'll be thinking about you.

This is one of my issues with my sorority. E-Board is trying to make the sorority our life. They want to make everything mandatory. Work isn't even a reasonable excuse anymore. SOmetimes people just need to get away and I don't think that others understand this. The only excuse that they are taking no questions asked are classes. Anything else can be turned down and you will not gett excused.

33girl · #11 10-21-2003, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Roseblum15
E-Board is trying to make the sorority our life. They want to make everything mandatory. Work isn't even a reasonable excuse anymore. SOmetimes people just need to get away and I don't think that others understand this. The only excuse that they are taking no questions asked are classes. Anything else can be turned down and you will not gett excused.

This is crazy. I've heard of chapters that have the "everything mandatory no excuses" policies....surprise surprise, their self-termination rates are through the roof.

Most jobs in college towns will work around your college schedule, but there are always exceptions if a coworker gets sick or has a family emergency. If you are trying it shouldn't be a choice between your sorority and your job.

Tom Earp · #12 10-21-2003, 05:27 PM

In This day and time, the expenses of going to College are going through the roof!

All of the Brothers of My Chapter are working part time jobs, even the Town Guys who live at home.

The Most important thing is:

1. Get Your Grades, that is why you are there.

2. Make enuff money to pay for College and Your Greek Organizational dues.

Greeks are becomeing a luxory that many dont feel that they can afford so do not join!

So, who loses then!? We as Greeks do.

Just remember what was said above! You are not a Greek for 4/5 years but for life.

I get very frustrated, and I have been doing this for 38 years. But going back to Homecoming and Founders Day weekends and seeing Brothers who I do not see that often is damn well worth it!

If not For My Chapter, I could care less about going back for anything!

Munchkin03 · #13 10-21-2003, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Roseblum15
E-Board is trying to make the sorority our life. They want to make everything mandatory. Work isn't even a reasonable excuse anymore.

This happened within my chapter--but it wasn't E-Board, it was someone unfamiliar with the inner workings of my chapter. We did give allowances for 1 single extra-curricular activity---for some it was work, others a sport or volunteer work, which was something she didn't agree with...basically, she viewed the sorority as our top priority, and really hated it that some of us had to...work (gasp!).

It comes down to the culture of the campus at hand--some schools would have accepted her admonishment, but more and more people have other things to do and other interests, and doing something like work or theatre is just as important as being in a sorority. It's something that we'll have to work with in the future to keep Greek Life thriving.

Buttonz · #14 10-21-2003, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Roseblum15

E-Board is trying to make the sorority our life. They want to make everything mandatory. Work isn't even a reasonable excuse anymore. SOmetimes people just need to get away and I don't think that others understand this. The only excuse that they are taking no questions asked are classes. Anything else can be turned down and you will not gett excused.

Work & Class are the only two things that are excused by us...unless it's an emergancy or the sister is sick. It works outver y well for us. You need to explain to them how important work is...without work you can't pay dues!

sweetsister · #15 10-21-2003, 09:07 PM

I agree with everyone else who says to stick it out. However, something I would consider if I were in the same situation would be to take limited or chapter status (although I don't know if this or something similar is available in your GLO). These two types of status can be granted for only one semester in a four year undergrad period, and must be approved by the chapter. They make it possible to stay an active member, but only attend 30% of the events without any consequence. Check your constitution to see if you have a similar provision.