Another Sex & marriage question

Reds6 · #1 01-08-2002, 02:09 PM

A few of my co-workers and I were having the conversation about sex and marriage.
One of my co-workers, believes that if you are married you are obligated to have sex with your spouse even if you don't want to. She feels that your body belongs to each other. What do you think?

prettypoodle6 · #2 01-08-2002, 02:58 PM

hellz no! (sorry for the profanity, but thats how i feel about it)

CrimsonTide4 · #3 01-08-2002, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by prettypoodle6
hellz no! (sorry for the profanity, but thats how i feel about it)

I agree. If I say no, that is what I mean.

Sometimes you JUST are not in the mood. If I am maaaaaad @ you I do not want you to even touch me with your crusty baby toe.

candygirl · #4 01-08-2002, 04:23 PM

I totally disagree with your co-worker. Your body doesn't belong to your spouse simply because you all are married. You are still a a person, an individual, if you don't want to have sex then why should you. You are not his property and neither is he yours. Its women like this who have men thinking its ok and here they come trying to have sex with you thinking its they property because some other sister told him so. I'm starting to ramble because I'm upset so in closing I disagree.

MeezDiscreet · #5 01-09-2002, 01:39 AM

okay, so... NO!

if i'm not in the mood...if i don't like you right now...if i say no, my husband had BETTA respect that. no one is obligated to have sex with any other person, married or not. now, i believe that married people are more giving when it comes to that and of course, it's expected for your spouse to please you, but that woman don't have the good sense God gave a chicken if she believes that!

korkscru · #6 01-09-2002, 09:16 AM

Well...according to the Bible, when a man and woman marry, they DO become one in MANY aspects. BUT... I'm not assuming that means taking over each other's bodies. I DO believe that intimacy between a husband and wife should ALWAYS be MUTUAL. We do have some men who feel that it's a woman's DUTY to "make herself available" to her husband whenever HE wants it. PERSONALLY, I don't agree with that philosophy. It's bogus and sounds "enslaving" (if there is such a word). I feel that many people misconstrue the MEANING and CONCEPT of a woman's SUBMISSIVENESS to her husband. God wants us to be able to understand His word in the RIGHT concept. He did not create woman to be a "sex slave" (among other things) to man. He created woman to be a "help meat" to man.

mccoyred · #7 01-09-2002, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by korkscru
[B He created woman to be a "help meat" to man. [/B]

'helpmeet'

LOL!!

delph998 · #8 01-09-2002, 11:28 AM

Sorors,

Did any of you hear about the KeKe Wyatt stabbing her husband five times? I want to know the details of the story. Thanks!!

CrimsonTide4 · #9 01-09-2002, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by delph998
Sorors,

Did any of you hear about the KeKe Wyatt stabbing her husband five times? I want to know the details of the story. Thanks!!

I remember reading about it under the Celebrity Dish II thread in AKA forum. Here is the link to the last page and the news was posted by IU INtelligence.

http://www.greeksource.com/gcforums/...204#post140204

Kimmie1913 · #10 01-09-2002, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Reds6
A few of my co-workers and I were having the conversation about sex and marriage.
One of my co-workers, believes that if you are married you are obligated to have sex with your spouse even if you don't want to. She feels that your body belongs to each other. What do you think?

See this is the mind set that had pepople believing a husband cannot commit a rape of his wife. YES HE CAN! While I think that sex is a part of marriage that should not be used as a game or manipulation or coercion against one another, neither party is ever obligared to do it. PERIOD! As someone else said, she does not have the good sense a good gave a CHICKEN if she believes that mess.

snuggles12 · #11 01-09-2002, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by korkscru
Well...according to the Bible, when a man and woman marry, they DO become one in MANY aspects. BUT... I'm not assuming that means taking over each other's bodies. I DO believe that intimacy between a husband and wife should ALWAYS be MUTUAL. We do have some men who feel that it's a woman's DUTY to "make herself available" to her husband whenever HE wants it. PERSONALLY, I don't agree with that philosophy. It's bogus and sounds "enslaving" (if there is such a word). I feel that many people misconstrue the MEANING and CONCEPT of a woman's SUBMISSIVENESS to her husband. God wants us to be able to understand His word in the RIGHT concept. He did not create woman to be a "sex slave" (among other things) to man. He created woman to be a "help meat" to man.

God also gave husbands a command per Ephesian 5:25- "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." If Christ died for the unsaved and husbands should love their wives in the same manner as Christ loved the church, then he should respect her wishes.

SoTrue1920 · #12 01-09-2002, 03:50 PM

I'm my husband's wife...not his chattel. He's my husband...not my gigolo. Even though we're married, we're still individuals. Even though we've pledged our love to each other for eternity, it does not mean we have carte blanche access to each other's naughty bits, even if the other partner is not in the mood. That's a little too close to rape, IMO.

LB1914 · #13 01-09-2002, 04:47 PM

As a married man, I personally feel that neither of us have a right to demand sex or that we must have sex just because the other party is "in the mood". Contrary to popular belief there are times where the man may not want to have intercourse for whatever reason. It's not always just the man trying to "get some"

korkscru · #14 01-09-2002, 05:03 PM

Thanks MCCOYRED, I wasn't sure if the spelling was right any way, but you know what I meant. LOL

Eclipse · #15 01-09-2002, 10:35 PM

Red6, your co-worker sounds like one of those folks that reads (or more than likely was told) about a piece of a scripture, then took it to a whole 'nother level. The scripture he/she may have been refering to is 1 Corinthians 7:3 -6"

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

Based on my interp. of this scripture (sure to be a bit controversial), a woman/man should not deny his/her spouse, but at the same time, the spouse should love the other so much (Eph 5 that snuggles mentioned) that if the other is tired/sleepy/just plain ole don't want to 'cause these my brand new sheets and I spent a lotta money on them (

oops...TMI

, then the other spouse should say "let's cuddle". Some of the best advice my hubby and I got when we got married was "That we should each put the other person second in everything we do-God should always be first." If I think "What does God want?" first, then "What does my spouse want?" before I think about sleepy/tired/new sheets, etc. my perspective totally changes. In the same way, if he puts God and my needs before his needs, his perspective changes as well. I'm no bible scholar, but that's jsut the way I see it. Where's my girl Shalom2U when I need her???

Sorry for the book folks, but God is really revealing some things to me about my marriage! I know that is probably WAY more info than y'all wanted.