Your First Apartment/House

[bgsugirlie]

I'm about to graduate and am finally moving out!

Here's the plan:

I'm moving about 3 hours away with a friend and the two of us are getting an apartment together.

However, we don't have any mutual friends in common, and my 4 best friends will be living at home (which is 3 hours away). I want them to be able to visit me on weekends after I move. I'm not sure of how "roommate etiquette" works though. Is it rude to invite my friends to stay over on the occasional weekend? Do I have to get my new roomie's permission? This is all so new to me!

[DeltAlum]

I suppose it depends on how "occassional" the visits are. Rotating a friend through every weekend could get old.

I think you should just be sure your roomy knows who is coming and when fairly well in advance since she/he is paying half of the rent.

Also, you might try to get a feel for how the apartment mate feels after the first couple of visits.

[PhiMuAmberkins]

Just make sure you roommate is okay with it, and be courteous (not loud late at night, anything that might make your roomie mad!) when your guest is there. As long as its not so often that your friends should be paying rent, I would think it would be okay.

Note: You should probably discuss this before the guest gets there. My old roomie (not the past tense) used to tell me when her friends walked in the door that they were staying for however long. This was really really awkward and gave me no chance to say no, see if my friends could stay, etc.

Congrats on getting your first apartment!!!

[KillarneyRose]

Just wanted to say congratulations and good luck!!!!

[kddani]

I would definitely say to discuss it with her, and discuss it every time you have friends come out. It is her apartment, too.

Four friends at once in an apartment where two people are already living could be a bit much, so I really wouldn't do that too often. But also, if every weekend someone different is staying there, that would also be tiring for your roommate, i'm sure.

If you wanted people to visit often, you probably should've thought about getting your own place.

Another solution is that if your four best friends are at home, and you're farther away, maybe since there's four of them and one of you, you should go home more than they should come visit you.

But then again, after college, people make all these plans to go visit each other all the time, etc. and after awhile, real life catches up with you and it becomes very hard to do with a lot of frequency!

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

I think it also matters if she has her own room, bathroom, etc.

I have two girlfriends who come for an overnight visit about once every other month - I just mention they're coming to my 3 roommates.

The girls sleep in my room, they use my bathroom, and honestly, we're out most of the time anyway.

I'm way too old to "ask permission" to have friends over, esp. when they're not going to be in the roommates' space. Knowing that's how I felt about *that*, I made sure to get a place where I'd have my own space. Kind of factors in with having a boyfriend spend the night, too - he wasn't interfering with my roommates' lives at all, so I didn't sweat having him over as often as I wanted.

But I admit it's a totally different situation if your 4 best friends are sucking up bathroom time, food, water, etc. - that can be a huge imposition if the roommate is finding herself stepping over your hungover roommates in the living room every morning, she goes to take a shower and there's no hot water, etc.