Hazing Experience

ydu0lc · #1 11-29-2003, 06:31 AM

I've read through many of the posts in here regarding hazing (okay, I read a lot) and would like to give my opinion on the issue as someone who has been through hazes before.

I never though of myself as someone who would go rush for a fraternity, let alone even showing interest in one. Yet here I was during my second year of college, despite my friends wishes, rushing for a fraternity that I believed would provide me with something which I felt I was lacking in my college experience. I wasn't there for the girls or the booze, just the brotherhood. Oh sure some of my friends tried to change my mind, saying that it will be as if i'm buying friends, or that the fraternity will haze me like there's no tomorrow, and that it's not worth it. I really can't explain it to them, but it's just something I felt I wanted to go through with.

I went out to rush with an open mind, and decided to check out a bunch of the fraternities, yet somehow I was hooked on a certain fraternity that I first looked at and never looked back. The people were friendly, they seemed to hold a lot of the same ideals that I was looking for, and we just totally got a long and had a lot in common. I remember only asking the hazing question once, and should of noticed the warning signs when the member didn't clearly give me an answer, only a half-hearted "not really." I went to the following rushes and ended up receiving a bid. I was totally thrilled and was on a high for a few days, since I thought my college experience was going to be much improved during my days of pledgeship.

We had a lot of same rituals that a lot of you might be familiar with, such as wearing your pins for most of the day, study hours, work outs, and different "events." Right from the first day of pledging, most of the members took on a different gameface. They would get up in your face, many times screaming so loud and furiously you can feel their spit hitting you head on. Some of the things we had to deal with were constantly being locked in a bathroom as a group while being blindfolded listening to music blaring, lead to places outside of the house (still blinded) and forced to do certain things which I will not go into detail, working out til we feel we are going to pass out, consume large quantities of alcohol, or dropped off somewhere miles from the house and forced to find our way back home.

I put up with this for weeks, and feel so angry and disappointed at myself for putting with this kind of sh1t. I didn't do it because I wanted to "belong", but I looked at is as a test of my masculinity and my loyalty to my pledgeclass. However, in time I started to realize that I am selling myself short by allowing myself to endure these things. I eventually de-pledged, not before telling each of my pledge bro's my reasoning behind the decision. I knew I was doing the right thing when they couldn't give me a real reason why I should continue the pledging.

To this very day, the pledging period has an effect on me, as I still go into fits of anger and sadness thinking about all the things that happened during my pledging quarter. Why was I so weak to let myself be put in situations where I can endanger myself, and end up hurting my real friends and family members? I am glad I dp'ed though, because that is not the type of brotherhood I would ever want. Don't fking kick and beat my spirit down to the ground and then at the end of the day telling me I'm a true soldier and that I should never give up....this isn't the damn military and no one should put up with this when pledging for a fraternity. Why must I be broken down physically and emotionally so that you can laugh and try to make me dp, only to give me a pat on the back at the end of the day and wait for tomorrow so that you can try to make me suffer again?

There were many members that seemed to enjoy seeing our pledge class suffer, insulting us verbally and making us suffer physically during workouts while attacking our emotions with various techniques. Then there are those actives who are there to encourage you and give you words of wisdom. This just makes everything more complicated during pledging for me, since I wonder why everyone can't be like the second group, the ones who encourage you to succeed and work together as a group, rather than the ones who only want you to break up. I guess the second group of guys is what made me decide to take the abuse longer than I should have, since I can really feel a connection with them. In the end, it wasn't worth it though.

However despite all of this, I believe hazing in a fraternity is something that can be beneficial to achieving brotherhood/sisterhood. However, to what degree of hazing? That is the main question. I'm sure you've all seen this already, from collecting signatures or having friendly scavenger hunts, when is hazing not acceptable? I believe as long as the fraternity realizes to what degree hazing is acceptable that it can really help the house and the pledges learn/respect each other more. But when you cross the line and do things that are just plain mindless, steps must be taken. Who is going to be around to tell you what is acceptable or not though? You never really hear about the hazing that is beneficial to the fraternities/sororities...no, we only see the hazing that causes emotional trauma, injuries, and sadly death. Arggh, I'm kind of rambling now and lost my train of thought, sorry if I confused any of you. The main point I'm getting at is some forms of hazing is healthful and a necessity, while others are just plain cruel and stupid.

I don't see myself reporting this fraternity into my school though, since I feel that almost everything that was done to me was voluntarily, I always had the choice to leave. It doesn't help that some of my close friends just crossed into the house and they have been through so much. I just regret putting in the time and effort for an organization that I don't believe in.

There are some other frats which I am still interested in yet haven't known a lot about since I only rushed for one frat during the fall quarter. However after all that I've been through, I don't know if I can handle the emotion and work involved to rush again, mainly because a lot of my faith has been lost due to one bad experience. I just hope this post can give you some insight from someone who's on the other side of hazing.

AGDee · #2 11-29-2003, 08:08 AM

I am sorry to hear of your horrible experience and I must say that if anything like that had been done to me, I too would have de-pledged. I would encourage you to report this however. There is zero tolerance for hazing among National GLOs and Universities and it will only continue for others if nobody stands up and puts a stop to it. I remember going through my "pledge" period with this whole list of things in my head that "if they do this to me..", I would depledge. I was in tears the week before Initiation, convinced that was the week I was going to be hazed and have to quit and I really had enjoyed the women of my sorority. It was going to be so sad to say goodbye to them. To my delight and amazement, the hazing never happened and in April, I will have been a member of AGD for 20 years. I am still active in an alumnae club and as a volunteer for AGD. I disagree that some hazing is necessary. Somehow, I developed a love and dedication for AGD that will never end, without being hazed, but by being respected, loved and nurtured.

Dee

Buttonz · #3 11-29-2003, 01:25 PM

I have to agree with Dee saying that you should report the frat. Yes, I can understand why you don't want to but it is totally unacceptable what they did. I'm sorry you had such a bad exprince, but I'm happy that it didn't turn you off completely to Greek life. Hopefull when the spring comes around you will find a frat hat is right for you....but please report them!!
I'm thankful that I was never hazed. I wouldn't have stood for it, much like many others that I know. I know that my pledge sister agreed with me, if we were hazed we were both going to drop. I might be a newbie compared to others on this board (I was a NM Spring '03), but I know how it feels to be fearful of being hazed....I was hazed by a local that I then dropped and finding SDT was the best thing that I ever did

hoosier · #4 11-29-2003, 04:01 PM

If you like this fraternity and some of the members, you can be a real man by stepping up and reporting them. You can prevent the fraternity, and national GLO, and all of us undergrads and alumni from having to suffer another huge nation-wide blast of rotten publicity when something goes wrong, when some pledge with an unknown heart problem dies, when some pledge is killed in a traffic accident while being dropped off, when a drunk pledge falls down the stairs and dies, and when who knows what happens.

You could probably keep your name out of it, but the dean or someone is going to have to know who is reporting the hazing.

You might contact the GLO's national office direct. They are more likely to solve the problem with a few ejections and training, while the campus dean is more likely to just cut 'em off at the knees and close the chapter.

Hopefully, the chapter can be counseled and changed. Perhaps some leaders will have to go. Perhaps the charter would be suspended for a while.

For the good of the fraternity system, and for the decency of young men to come, hazing must be stopped.

You are in a position to help a lot of us, and I hope you will step up.

Tom Earp · #5 11-29-2003, 04:49 PM

No truer words were spoken than by the previous posts.

When I started my Local which affiliated with LXA, that was the spoken word. "No Hazing". But it has come to the point where a Chapter cannot hold mandatory study times for New Associates.

While I for one totally disagree with this for several reasons:

1. You must have Your Grades to be Initiated
2. Have Your Grades to Stay Active.
3. Have Your grades to go for the Highest GPA on Campus for Your Organization.
4. Last but not least, have Your Grades to Graduate.

It is not my Call, but LXA Internationals Call.

I will follow what They say as I am a Brother of LXA.

As far as the other things,

, this is uncalled for and I agree, contact the National Hdq. and tell them why you quit.

I am sure they would be very unhappy with any situation like this.! I am sure that they would send ELCs down to work with them and get this straighted our!

I know there have been Situations where a Chapter of LXA has done some of this and there is hell to pay!

Unless they get it together, they will not be there long!

I would take a look around again, there are alot of Great Fraternitys out there with a lot of Great Members.

You are so right, being in member of a Greek Organization can mean so much! Maybe not just the Magic 4/5 years of College, but for Life!

As you read through the threads, look to see how many have Alum after their Sig.

I have been doing with mine for 38 years!

jmuphigam · #6 12-01-2003, 12:42 PM

sorry you had that experience and probably think greeks are a bunch of jerkoffs. were not, you just ended up with the wrong group of guys. the pledge process is one thats supposed to help you grow in your knowledge and love of the fraternity, not your tolerance for taking shit and drinking.

can anyone explain what hazing with alcohol accomplishes?

DeltAlum · #7 12-01-2003, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jmuphigam
can anyone explain what hazing with alcohol accomplishes?

Nope.

While reporting your treatment will probably mean that the chapter will be put on probation (at the least), or possibly lose its charter, it should be done.

That kind of treatment was not at all uncommon when I pledged in the 60's, but should be long forgotten history by now.

Tom Earp · #8 12-01-2003, 06:26 PM

Just wonder why, you posted on here???

From Orlando, backwards is cloudy sign in name. DA!

Makes one wonder do it not?

Who sang the Song "Balls To The Wall?'.

Kevin · #9 12-01-2003, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hoosier
If you like this fraternity and some of the members, you can be a real man by stepping up and reporting them. You can prevent the fraternity, and national GLO, and all of us undergrads and alumni from having to suffer another huge nation-wide blast of rotten publicity when something goes wrong, when some pledge with an unknown heart problem dies, when some pledge is killed in a traffic accident while being dropped off, when a drunk pledge falls down the stairs and dies, and when who knows what happens.

You could probably keep your name out of it, but the dean or someone is going to have to know who is reporting the hazing.

You might contact the GLO's national office direct. They are more likely to solve the problem with a few ejections and training, while the campus dean is more likely to just cut 'em off at the knees and close the chapter.

Hopefully, the chapter can be counseled and changed. Perhaps some leaders will have to go. Perhaps the charter would be suspended for a while.

For the good of the fraternity system, and for the decency of young men to come, hazing must be stopped.

You are in a position to help a lot of us, and I hope you will step up.

Great advice. Organizations like the one you dp'd are a blemish on the fraternal world. If you can get their HQ involved, perhaps you can bring something good out of your bad experience.

hoosier · #10 12-03-2003, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tom Earp
Just wonder why, you posted on here???

From Orlando, backwards is cloudy sign in name. DA!

Makes one wonder do it not?

Who sang the Song "Balls To The Wall?'.

I wondered what "BTTW" meant, and Google told me:

"Meaning
_ _ Fast - at full throttle.
Origin
_ _ Not related to testicles as you might think. Possibly the balls are the knobs on aircraft joy sticks. Pushing them as far as they can go, i.e. against the wall of the plane, caused it to go as fast as possible. "

Since this is not an aircraft forum, what shall we do?

Tom Earp · #11 12-03-2003, 06:29 PM

hoosier, do ignore sound like a good word!

Got reall quiet on here did it not?

Godfather · #12 12-16-2003, 10:02 PM

Some hazing is needed.

Yep I said it, however it's true. Now beating or physically hurting pledges its stupid beyond belief, however having required meetings, study hours, and exercise such as morning runs, etc. is fine as for "lock-ins" they can be fine to, along with lineups. When you make it through pledging it shouldn't be easy there should be trials and tribulations. You will be closer to your pledge class and feel a sense that you earned it instead of having it handed to you like some fraternities who use the AM or Associate Member term and don't even require the AMs to attend events.

Oh yeah and despite depledging (despining) man up and don't report them its just...well...a dick thing to do.

AGDee · #13 12-16-2003, 11:46 PM

No hazing is ever needed.

Reporting it is the responsible thing to do.

Required meetings and study hours are not hazing if they are required of all members and are at reasonable hours.

Your biological family didn't haze you in order to bond with you, why would haze your fraternal family?

Those attitudes are the attitudes that get GLOs closed.

Dee

DeltAlum · #14 12-17-2003, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AGDee
No hazing is ever needed.

Being one of the "old" guys on the board who grew up when hazing was "accepted," I absolutely agree!

Further, having been an advisor and division officer, I will say again that I can find NO indication that hazing is good for brotherhood.

The only thing I can find that hazing IS good for is getting chapters closed.

Godfather · #15 12-17-2003, 01:09 AM

Without hazing you might as well just join a book club, every organization worth joining is worth the hard work to make it through pledging and most especially hell week.