Wedding Etiquette #5

OOHLALA · #1 03-05-2001, 04:49 PM

I have a new question to ask:
If you are familiar with my first few etiquette questions, you will be aware that my good friend and I are both getting married soon.

Well, at first she was getting married in May, which was short notice, but I was prepared to make it happen to attend. My date was and has been set:9/8/01.

Ok my dilema)sp?) is: We were supposed to be in each others wedding, but then after a while
and realizing how fast that (May) was coming she pushed it back to August 21, 2001 to hold it on his family cruise they already had planned. And becasue my company only offers 2 weeks paid vacation, I had to decline her offer to be in her wedding. This is because she is going on a 5 day cruise which at that time I will not have any extra time to take for leave and I will be leaving from my job on the 28 of August.
How would you guys feel if I backed out on you and we are really good friends. Would you be understanding and realize that I did have ny date set first and that it would be an imposition on me to attend. Or would you back out of my wedding since I could not attend yours, even if you could attend?

OOHLALA · #2 03-05-2001, 05:08 PM

Ideal08, they are getting married 2 days after the ship sails. I thought about just going down to FL for the ceremony, but that is not possible since it will already be sailing.

Ideal08 · #3 03-05-2001, 05:15 PM

In my opinion, that sucks. Who wants the wedding party on the ship during the honeymoon?? Oh, well, girl, you have to do what's best for OOHLALA. Best of luck to you!

AKAtude · #4 03-05-2001, 05:24 PM

I can't get away from wedding talk!!!!

Oohlala, I'm gonna get you!

Just kidding.
I think if you have always had your date set and she has been the one switching dates, then she should understand.

OOHLALA · #5 03-05-2001, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKAtude:
I can't get away from wedding talk!!!!
Oohlala, I'm gonna get you! Just kidding.

Sorry

Please bear with me and hang in there, I still have 187 days to go!!!! Who knows what else will happen.

toocute · #6 03-05-2001, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKAtude:
I think if you have always had your date set and she has been the one switching dates, then she should understand.

Ditto. She should understand and not back out of your wedding if she can make it.

OOHLALA Girl...you have some wild questions! Nothing simple like do these colors go together or should my maids wear gloves?

LOL...just kidding.

Keep 'em coming.

nikki25 · #7 03-05-2001, 08:11 PM

Oohlala,

This has got to be the most exciting time of your life. Surely, you've been planning for some time now. Don't let your friend's fickleness affect what you are about to do. Commence forward with your planning and let your friend know that you love her, but because your own plans, you can't attend hers. I'm sure that she will understand.

Keep your focus where it belongs, on planning your wedding. Truly, that is more than enough. Perhaps she'll have several parties that you can attend or help coordinate as an expression of your love for her. I know that some people have a pre-wedding reception when they are getting married on the islands. The bridal shower may also be wonderful. Since she is also planning her own wedding, she should understand your decline.

HopefulJD · #8 03-05-2001, 08:43 PM

Hi there

Find out exactly when the ceremony is going to be held. My husband and I considered being married on a cruise ship (Royal Carribean) and the only 2 options that were available at that time were to 1) Get married while the ship was still docked in Florida or 2) Get married on am island. If they are planning o getting married while the ship is docked, perhaps you can make arrangements to be there just for the ceremony.

Is she still going to be in your wedding?

OOHLALA · #9 03-05-2001, 09:13 PM

HopefulJD, I really am not sure. I know she has not put the deposit down on the dress she is to have made.
I know I should just ask her, but I am going to be hurt if she says no. Kinda how she may of felt when I had to decline. That is why I asked how everyone would feel. Because apart of me thinks that I have no right to feel that way, but on the other hand I can't help BUT feel this way.

Toocute, I have made myself very available to her. Just last week I helped her send out her announcements when she did not have the time to do so. And we went before to pick out our wedding dresses. But since all of this, she has distanced herself. That is another reason why I am concerned

...

AKA2D '91 · #10 03-05-2001, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OOHLALA:
HopefulJD, I really am not sure. I know she has not put the deposit down on the dress she is to have made.
I know I should just ask her, but I am going to be hurt if she says no. Kinda how she may of felt when I had to decline. That is why I asked how everyone would feel. Because apart of me thinks that I have no right to feel that way, but on the other hand I can't help BUT feel this way.

OH, no..LALA...
You need to find out what's the deal with sistergirl!
I mean this is your wedding, just because it seems like she is inconsistent/incompetant with her plans or whatever, doesn't mean that you should have to make your wedding a fiasco.
I mean, you need to know strait up, if she is going to participate. No way should you have to be on pins and needles wondering what's going on with her. You have to plan accordingly!

Good luck! I tell ya, 'OUR' people!

It couldn't be me! (I guess that's why it's not!) LOL

OOHLALA · #11 03-06-2001, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
OH, no..LALA...
You need to find out what's the deal with sistergirl!

I mean, you need to know strait up, if she is going to participate. No way should you have to be on pins and needles wondering what's going on with her. You have to plan accordingly!

OK, I hear you loud and clear, you sound a lot like my older sister, she would of said the exact same thing.

Well, I went ahead and asked her, and she said thwt she is still going to be in the wedding and she will be giving me the money for the dress this week.

Whew, I am glad that is over with!

I am sure this is not the last you all will be hearing from me, till next time!!

Thank you everyone for all of the helpful advice!

AKA2D '91 · #12 03-06-2001, 05:25 PM

make sure you get it in writing!

OOHLALA · #13 03-06-2001, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
make sure you get it in writing!

I hear ya,AKA2D '91.
She is paying for her entire dress, I am NOT!!!!! And if she pays and then back out, Well, that is on her.

toocute · #14 03-06-2001, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OOHLALA:
I am sure this is not the last you all will be hearing from me, till next time!!

Thank you everyone for all of the helpful advice!

Like I said...keep 'em coming? Isn't somebody else geting married up in here?

darling1 · #15 03-07-2001, 06:54 PM

hey guys,

im also getting married!!!

.