Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

[NinjaPoodle]

Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs


1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my
own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm
going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a FloridaState football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of
three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he
keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training
regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He
said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. AmarilloHigh School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips
responded: "Beecause she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

[KillarneyRose]

Too Funny!! Thanks for the laugh, NinjaPoodle!
(My heart just about burst with pride when I read the comment from the basketball player at my alma mater )

[CatStarESP4]

That really cheered me up!!! Funny!

[CrimsonTide4]

I AM OVER HERE CHOKING!!!!!!!!

dumb azzzzzzzzes

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by NinjaPoodle


1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

Whoa! Maybe after the police get done with Michael Jackson they should check this guy out . . .

[Lady Pi Phi]

Hahaha, that was funny. I really liked #12.

Originally posted by NinjaPoodle
Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

WHOOP!!

Good ole Shelby. Coached at A&M when we were actually decent in basketball. Then good ole J.D. Crow had to force him out and we haven't had a team since.

Kitso
KS 361 Big XII basketball games A&M has lost, but this is our year!

[Love_Spell_6]

NInja Poodle this is too funny! I just can't believe this is real though!

[bethany1982]

Those are great.

[BLUTANG]

I had to add #6 to my signature. End of the semester is kicking a sistahs butt right now!