If you are an Ohio State fan or a Michigan fan you'll enjoy the following. The brothers of Lambda Chi Alpha have been having an online war between OSU and UM for the past week or so. It's pretty funny.
I don't watch much college football, so I did a little research. Here is what I've gleaned from that research instead of fixing computer problems at work: A buckeye is a tree. Trees are rugged. They serve a purpose. They turn CO2 into O2. We can make paper out of them. We can burn them to make electricity or heat. Trees are made of wood, which is a great metaphor for the giant boner you get in the morning. Wolverines on the other hand, are dirty little woodland creatures. They have webbed toes just like inbred bumpkins from Appalachia. Basically they feed on carrion and eggs, the sort of catfish of the woods, if you will. And according to the Minnesota Zoo's website, Wolverines have "anal glands [that] can spray foul-smelling liquid." To me that sounds like a natural defense developed against the anal-rape of over-zealous UMich fans. Thus, I am left with no choice but to go against the grain of most of the house and cheer for Ohio. A state which otherwise sucks because people there can't drive for SHIT.GO BUCKEYES!
Response:
UMich is Gay Don't forget. . .trees just sit there and consume. That, and grass and "wetlands" make more O2 out of CO2 then trees. Wolverines, on the other hand, will kick your ass every day of the week, and twice on Saturday. I wouldn't fuck with one of those things. By the way, the Buckeye that OSU refers to is the nut from the tree. That's it. Not the whole tree. Just a nut. Little. Round. and POINTLESS. And you know what? Most football fans expel foul smelling gasses from their anus, so what the hell's the difference?
I'll post more as I get them
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