what if...

[LuaBlanca]

What if a crazy girl you went to HS with is pledging a sorority? Should I let her be? Should I somehow "warn" the sorority? This girl just has some serious issues going on. She is absolutely the sweetest thing when she's in her normal state of mind, it's just unfortunate that her normal state of mind isn't a consistent place for her. And I don't know if it's something I should be concerned about...

if someone wants to PM me, I think it would be the best way to answer my question.

thanks.

[Little E]

I would stay out of it. Honestly, she may have changed, and besides she is already pledged. At least in AST, we couldn't kick a nm out because someone said she is psycho.
Besides, every chapter has its psycho ones and that is always great to keep the drama alive

I don't know how long you've been out of HS, but sometimes people do change...even if it's so tiny that you can't see it.

I would also stay out of it. If this girl is really psycho then it's only a matter of time before she cracks and the sisters will see her in all her glory. Or maybe she'll grow up and wise up...you never know.

[kayla0deegee]

ok in my opinion i think you should warn them. The same thing happened in my chapter and no one warned us and we had to find out the hard way and she made our chapter look really bad, in several different ways. The thing is if they choose not to believe you or want to give her the benefit of the doubt then i wouldnt argue it. and people do change but if someone has been a certain way for a long time, people tend to get set in their ways. I would give a friendly warning...dont like blow up and freak out...im sure you know what i mean. Goodluck

I think it depends on what your definition of crazy is, and how long it's been since high school.

If the girl is schizophrenic, or has manic depression or something like that.... first of all, she may be medicated and have her condition under control. If that is the case, the only thing you're going to do is embarass her and make her miserable.

If you just mean that she's super slutty or something... well... that's what new member periods are for. she'll show her true colours in time, and whatever form of Standards Board this group has will deal with her appropriately.

HOWEVER. If she's participating in illegal or dangerous behaviour (doing or dealing drugs, being physically violent, committing crimes, etc) then yes, I do think you have a responsibility to tell someone. However, I would go to the chapter's advisor, who can look into things and find out her deal without getting the chapter involved until it's necessary.

Otherwise, I say, stay out of it. People change between high school and college, and especially in the first year(s) of college. This girl may be totally different than how you knew her.... I would give her the benefit of the doubt that she has come around.

[GtownGirl98]

Do you have hard evidence of her mental state? Have you seen her attack someone? I guess my question is what makes you say this?

I know with my job, I have to have hard proof to make that kind of statement. If you do have proof I would warn a close friend of the chapter. That way they can make the decision to take it to the chapter or let it go. It may not keep her out of the chapter but if something were to happen down the road then she maybe accepted better, as having a pre-existing condition of mental illness.

[Senusret I]

Hmmmm.....

I can say that if a loopy young man wanted to join my chapter, I would want to know.

I wouldn't want to be approached like "I CAN'T BELIEVE Y'ALL ARE LETTING THAT LOOPY DUDE JOIN!!!!!"

But if I had a friend who was on the outside of the org, and happened to know, I think I would want to hear it like this:

"Hey, Senusret I......how are ya? How is Mu Lambda doing? I understand that this guy I know is interested in your chapter, have you met him before?"

At that point, I would probably say yeah, he seems cool. How do you know him?

"Well, we went to high school together."

At this point, I would probably wonder why said friend was not singing loopy boy's praises.

"Is he cool?" I might ask.

"Well........" and then the person would just tell me their concerns. The last thing I want to hear is that person's opinion on whether they are Alpha material. Just give me the facts, and I can make my own decision.

[aephi alum]

I'd stay out of it unless she's an ax murderer or something.

It's very difficult to force someone to depledge from an NPC sorority. She would have to have a serious criminal record or some such. Barring that, it's too late, she will be initiated unless she chooses to depledge.

Some non-NPC sororities do have ways of depledging women or not allowing them to be initiated with the rest of their pledge class. If this is the case, maybe a warning is in order, but I'm inclined to think the sisters would see something before initiation.

[GeekyPenguin]

I'm biased on this because it goes both ways. There's a girl I did not like AT ALL from high school who pledged a local on campus that I wasn't really a fan of. I didn't find out she even went to UWP until I saw her in their jacket after initiation, by which point it was too late to say anything. I might have casually pulled aside one of theirs sisters and mentioned it if I had known, but it seems to have worked out okay for them.

I also told one of the fraternities on campus that a guy they were looking at was not so hot - they ended up taking him anyway, and although he caused a lot of drama and is no longer a member, I think they're still bitter at me for telling them that.

[breathesgelatin]

I think it's ALWAYS best to stay out of other chapters' internal issues. While they may live to regret the decision, they'r probably not going to appreciate your advice, however truthful it may be.

[honeychile]

If it's not your chapter, it's not your business. Period.

We once depledged a woman who was "crazy" (no, I won't go into details), and she ended up in another sorority. I'd like to think she got her act together by then, but it's not really my business.

[33girl]

I seem to recall a thread on a similar subject - I believe the nut in question was skinning cats or somesuch.

If she's got a criminal record, I would let the group know. Anything other than that, you really can't.

[sugar and spice]

I ditto the advice above. If you've got a close friend in the chapter, feel free to say something to her, but if you don't know anyone in their chapter very well, stay out of it unless she's actually super crazy and not just a little bit nutty.

LuaBlanca, is psycho chick pledging YOUR sorority? Or another one? If she's pledging yours, I'd tell your NM educator in confidence of your concerns. If she's pledging another one, I say just keep quiet about it.

[LuaBlanca]

She's pledging an NPC sorority at a school across the country. I obviously don't know anyone in her school let alone her chapter, and as for her level of craziness I'm quite sure she hasn't changed.
She's not invovled in illegal activities or anything of that sort, it is more towards the side of mental stability. Down by the severe depression end. Mix in some chronic lying, hypochondria, and "illness" after "illness" and you've got yourself this winner. (I use quotations around the word "illness" because it was proven somewhere around 13 times that when she would return to school after being "sick," she really hadn't been sick, she was lying.)
(Ex. a teacher rearranged the classroom to accomodate her broken left foot that needed to remain elevated. one day she came in, on her crutches, with her cast on her right foot and proceeded to tell us that it had always been her right foot that was injured. but the desk set up in the room said otherwise...)

I guess i'm going to let her be. It's not my organization, and maybe, to be completely trite, "the strong bonds of sisterhood will help her overcome her issues."

thanks all.