Cheating Husband???

winnieb · #1 11-09-2003, 10:26 PM

Please give me your opinion.... sorry might be long...

My best friend's husband cheated on her about a year ago. She had no clue, until she found an email (on their home account) that he forgot to delete. The email was pretty graphic and detailed several meetings that had taken place. There was no clue he had something going on. She confronted him, he admitted. They fought and fought for several days. They decided to work it out, since they have kids (she was pg with #2 at the time). My friend banned him from the computer-- home email, porn, etc.

Jump to current day---my computer at home has been acting up---homepage constantly being reset, overload of porn popup. The only people who use the computer--me, my husband, and my 21yr old cousin. My husband and I use the laptop--cousin uses the desktop- the one w/ problems. I mentioned something about the computer. She told me, "you do know that "Joe" is coming over right, while you are at work" I asked her what she was talking about --apparently my friends husband comes over during the day and uses my computer, when my cousin gets her, he leaves. (We live next door to my friend and her husband-they have the garage door code). This suddenly explained the popups, etc.

The only reason I can come up with for him being here--is he can talk with the g-friend without getting caught. We do have a cable connection , while they have dial-up. So if you are looking at porn, cable is much better. And to never tell me that he uses my computer is kind of strange.

So what would you do--- a.) ignore b.) confront him c.)try to catch him???

And seriously, what would be the reason for him being on my computer without ever saying anything to me?

Opinions please!!
Thanks,
wendi

Imthachamp · #2 11-09-2003, 10:30 PM

if he is as dumb as he sounds. just check your computer's history. it should show all the website the pc has visited from the last month.

also, if you want to see if he is writing emails and stuff, put in a keylogger on your computer you think he's using. the key logger captures everything that is typed on your pc and you can either email it or have it stored somewhere.

Peaches-n-Cream · #3 11-09-2003, 10:33 PM

He sounds like a dumbass. Tell him that he may never use your computer again, or you will go straight to his wife.

bethany1982 · #4 11-09-2003, 10:37 PM

Tell your friend about this.

Imthachamp · #5 11-09-2003, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bethany1982
Tell your friend about this.

i think she should get proof that he is doing this before she goes and says anything...

bethany1982 · #6 11-09-2003, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imthachamp
i think she should get proof that he is doing this before she goes and says anything...

I agree. It sounded to me that she was very sure of what was going on. She does not have to accuse him of anything, simply tell her friend that he is using her computer.

Rudey · #7 11-09-2003, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bethany1982
I agree. It sounded to me that she was very sure of what was going on. She does not have to accuse him of anything, simply tell her friend that he is using her computer.

No. she needs to document it. It's her computer. Why can't she monitor it?

-Rudey
--Fry the bastard.

bethany1982 · #8 11-09-2003, 10:52 PM

I don't think it should be alphagam-alum's responsibility to play spy. She can check the comps history and temp files. Maybe the cookies... I wouldn't know where to begin if it were me. The guy is using a computer behind his wifes back knowing exactly why she wants him to stay away from them. If alphagam-alum knows that much for sure, I think that's enough to start. Tell the friend. Then, if the friend wants some type of proof as to what the husband is doing on the comp, they can go from there.

KSig RC · #9 11-09-2003, 11:30 PM

um, maybe he's not talking with his 'girlfriend' . . . maybe he's just looking at porn?

It doesn't make any sense to me that he's banned from a computer. Looking at pornography didn't make him cheat, and his wife is not somehow substandard if he chooses to look at porno. It's ridiculous that a grown man is 'banned' from looking at pornography.

I think this guy's being dumped on with no proof at all.

Lady Pi Phi · #10 11-09-2003, 11:35 PM

I agree that pornography is not the cause for his infidelity. Whether or not he is actually cheating on his wife, he shouldn't be surfing for porn on someone elses computer without their permission.

It sounds to me that he is ashamed of what he is doing, and he doesn't want anyone to know about it, so he hasn't told alphagam-alum that he is using her computer.

jonsagara · #11 11-09-2003, 11:37 PM

Put Windows 2000 or Windows XP on there and don't give him the password.

AchtungBaby80 · #12 11-10-2003, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jonsagara
Put Windows 2000 or Windows XP on there and don't give him the password.

I agree. Sometimes people tend to resent the person who gives bad news, so maybe you should just keep quiet but make sure he can't use your computer anymore (cheating and everything aside, that's just plain weird and creepy to go in someone's house without their knowledge and use their computer).

Kevin · #13 11-10-2003, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bethany1982
Tell your friend about this.

Absolutely.

What a selfish jerk this guy's being. Help her put a case together for her soon to be pending divorce. Put this punk out on the street.

Tom Earp · #14 11-10-2003, 12:38 AM

Wendi, tell him to stay the hell off of your Computor!

For lack of calling him a dick head, lets call him a jack off!

You do not need to get in the middle of this mess!

AGDee · #15 11-10-2003, 12:47 AM

Definitely set up some password protection. There are a few ways to do this.. PM me if you can't figure it out on your computer. I'd also want to confront him on the computer use. I would NOT like the idea of someone coming into my home and using my things without permission or without my knowledge! Can you change the garage code too?

Dee