Cheating?

mizzkes · #1 01-07-2001, 09:20 PM

Do you all think that it is cheating if the two parties do not have sex? How far is one allowed to go without it being considered cheating?

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I'm not conceited, just convinced.

AKA2D '91 · #2 01-07-2001, 11:18 PM

LOL...
I think that answer has to be established among the two parties involved. I don't think that there is a UNIVERSAL answer...what my boyfriend and I define as cheating may not be constituted as cheating to the next couple or the next...so on and so forth...

DELTABRAT · #3 01-08-2001, 04:37 PM

I do.

But I have to agree that it is to be discussed between the couple. For instance, there should be an understanding where each person is with friends of the opposite sex. Some may not mind if their significant other has female friends and vice versa (usually if this is a friend he/she has had for a while...don't be makin' no NEW friends...shooot!)

But I think that if there is an emotional bond then it's cheating. If say, I eat lunch with so and so everyday and it gets to the point where I am looking forward to that lunch, and if so an so is absent from work that day, thereby forfeiting our lunch, then I am pissed, and now I am trying to look really cute on the days I eat lunch with so and so and I tell so and so my deepest wishes, dreams, goals, and desires...then I am sorry, IT IS CHEATING!!!

I believe that your mate should be your best friend. I tell my boyfriend EVERYTHING...well..almost everything. But I wouldn't tell some other man something that I wouldn't tell him or share things with someone else that he doesn't know.Especially any problems that we are having because that just opens up the flood gates.

Sorry so long. My boyfriend and I just had this discussion a couple of days ago. It's in the new Essence.

Eclipse · #4 01-08-2001, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DELTABRAT:
I do.

But I have to agree that it is to be discussed between the couple. For instance, there should be an understanding where each person is with friends of the opposite sex. Some may not mind if their significant other has female friends and vice versa (usually if this is a friend he/she has had for a while...don't be makin' no NEW friends...shooot!)

But I think that if there is an emotional bond then it's cheating. If say, I eat lunch with so and so everyday and it gets to the point where I am looking forward to that lunch, and if so an so is absent from work that day, thereby forfeiting our lunch, then I am pissed, and now I am trying to look really cute on the days I eat lunch with so and so and I tell so and so my deepest wishes, dreams, goals, and desires...then I am sorry, IT IS CHEATING!!!

I believe that your mate should be your best friend. I tell my boyfriend EVERYTHING...well..almost everything. But I wouldn't tell some other man something that I wouldn't tell him or share things with someone else that he doesn't know.Especially any problems that we are having because that just opens up the flood gates.

Sorry so long. My boyfriend and I just had this discussion a couple of days ago. It's in the new Essence.

DELTABRAT,
You just broke it down, girlfriend!! My litmus test for cheating: Would you tell your significant other about the conversation/interaction? If you are hesitant to share the 'other' relationship with your signifiant other, then you are probably cheating (even if it is not physical)

Most folks who cheat do so emotionally before they do physically (unless of course, they just hos!!

)

Asia2000 · #5 01-08-2001, 06:57 PM

Just got home from the mall, thought I'd check in and found this topic. My ex said something pretty smart. We were talking one day about what he considered cheating and what i considered cheating as to avoid any miscommunications in the future (that future turned out to be pretty short . . . anyway . . .) He said: "If you're doing something with your guy-friend that you wouldn't do in front of your boyfriend, it's cheating." That's a fairly decent way to look at things. Not a fool proof rule, but it works.

mizzkes · #6 01-09-2001, 12:28 AM

Nice rule Asia. Tell him I said thanks

I think that I already knew how I felt about this question, but I have this man in my ear trying to convince me otherwise, if you know what I mean ladies. Thanks for the responses ladies, I guess the men were too afraid to respond.

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I'm not conceited, just convinced.