Weigh In: Infertility

[sigmagrrl]

If a couple is unable to conceive "naturally" (without medical intervention), should they pursue the issue by asking science to intervene? Should these couples be seeking alternative ways of having a family (adoption, foster parenthood)? Are they being selfish or are they merely exercising their right to have a child together? When is enough enough?


Let's discuss without flaming...

[Kevin]

It's my belief that adoption is an option for some folks. For others, it isn't. This is simply a personal decision. If you could never be happy without your own DNA in your child then adoption really can't be the answer.

Do I think the world would be a better place if more qualified families adopted? Yup.

[aabby757]

I think the argument of when "science shouldn't intervene" well, then I also feel then that heart transplants, antibiotics, etc falls under that category.

I think it's a fine line of when science shouldn't be used. Just because we CAN clone humans, does it mean we SHOULD clone humans?

Personally, I think invitro conception, help with conceiving through science is fine. However, I have more of a problem with 70 year old men fathering a child naturally. I think that is very selfish. Most likely that child will be fatherless much earlier and younger than most other children and don't think that is right. But that's just me.

Before I post my full post, I'd like to say I am going to be a family lawyer. Clearing this out of the way, I feel that adoption is a wonderful experience. I also believe that one shouldn't bring another child into this world because there are so many in the "system" waiting to be adopted. Some of these adoption candidates are babies and some are older kids. Either way, they're in need of being adopted. I feel that if we take these kids into our homes, our arms, and our hearts, it'll cut down on jail overcrowding (this is where a lot end up for committing some petty or major crime), etc.

These kids haven't known the love of good parents and family so they act out for attention and end up in juvenile detention centers and/or jail. I know that there are kids that were never adoption candidates and get into trouble, but that's life. I am just saying this would cut down a lot of overcrowding in jail and juvenile detention centers.

[Lady Pi Phi]

I have always felt that having a child is a very selfish act. Parents bring children into this world because THEY want one (or not...but that's another thread entirely). No child asks to be brought into this world. They are here because the parent(s) wanted the joy (or pain) of having and raising a child.

Now, I'm not saying, if you can't conceive naturally then you can't have a child. I feel that, if having a child is what you really want and you feel that you are ready to take on the responsibilites of having a child, then go for it. 2 of my cousins were conceived through in vitro. My aunt and uncle are wonderful parents, and their 2 boys are beautiful, healthy children.
I think useing artificial conception methods are fine if you really want to have your own children.
I would actually love to see more people adopt.

snaps to you Lady Pi Phi

Once we are married, and we decide to start planning our family, I will be in for a *lot* of fertility treatments.

Warning: TMI factor

I was severely anorexic for many, many years. As a result, I didn't go through puberty like most girls, and my uterus didn't fully develop.

Nonetheless, I became pregnant accidentally a little over 2 years ago, and miscarried because my body wasn't able to sustain the pregnancy. I was told then that if I ever wanted to carry a child to full-term, I would need a LOT of help.

My fiance and I have talked a lot about this, and about what our options are. We've talked about adoption, but both feel it isn't for us. We're not really even sure right now when we are going to want a child.... but I am going to go through the treatments in case we do get a suprise before we plan for it! I want to give that child an opportunity to be born, whereas my other child was not.

So, the short of it is... I am VERY much in favour of it.

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

My sister is a social worker for the Adopt-Ohio program. She has told menumeous times that many adults come in wanting to adopt due to they can not concieve naturally or they would love to adopt. However, there is such a large amount of red tape to adopt that many people give up due to monetary costs and ect. I personally would love to have at least 2 of my own and then only adopt older children after that.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I have always felt that having a child is a very selfish act. Parents bring children into this world because THEY want one (or not...but that's another thread entirely). No child asks to be brought into this world. They are here because the parent(s) wanted the joy (or pain) of having and raising a child.

Wow! I'm speechless. So you don't believe that a lot of children in this world are accidents or unplanned? On top of that, some people don't have the money for an abortion.


Personally, I don't think it's selfish at all. It's our duty to create offspring. Once you get down to it all, thats why we're here. We're supposed to make more of our species. And in a religious sense, we're created to create and want children. Thats why people end up having a longing for children. Whether you're 20 or 40, eventually you'll want children.

[aephi alum]

I can't agree that having and raising a child is a selfish act. If anything, it's one of the most selfless things you can do. You spend 9 months preparing the baby for the world. You spend the next 2 years or so wiping up poop and dealing with a squalling infant who won't sleep through the night. Then it's chase-the-toddler time. You have to make sure they learn what they need to learn, both in school and at home, and that they're prepared for their lives as adults. You also have to pony up a lot of money, for everything from cribs and car seats to college. And a mom has to choose whether to give up her career and become a SAHM, or put the child in day care or hire a babysitter and be labeled an unfit mother for not raising her child herself.

My husband and I hope to have two children of our own some day. If it doesn't happen - I would want to adopt. There are so many unwanted babies in this world. I have no problem with those who choose fertility treatments, but if I couldn't have children of my own without taking extreme measures, I'd want to adopt.

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by cashmoney
Personally, I don't think it's selfish at all. It's our duty to create offspring. Once you get down to it all, thats why we're here. We're supposed to make more of our species. And in a religious sense, we're created to create and want children. Thats why people end up having a longing for children. Whether you're 20 or 40, eventually you'll want children.

Ditto. It all comes down to retention/survival of the human species. It is only natural that we want our DNA to carry on from generation to generation.

I for one, am glad that my parents weren't selfish.

[CutiePie2000]

All I can say is, if you bring a child into the world, please do a good job of raising it. No wonder my friends and I are having such a hard time meeting someone decent to date....yeesh
Lousy kids grow up to be lousy adults.....


Jacqueline Kennedy once made a statement that was along the lines of "Raising your children properly is one of the most important jobs that you can do".... Amen is all I have to say about that.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by CutiePie2000

Jacqueline Kennedy

That woman had all sorts of problems.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by cashmoney
That woman had all sorts of problems.

And...your point?

I know she had a very hard time conceiving (had two miscarriages, a stillbirth, and a child that died a few days after birth), but that was because of all of the pelvic infections Jack brought home.

Many insurance companies don't cover fertility treatments. Adoption can be very expensive. So, it seems that poor infertile couples really don't have too much of a chance if they can't conceive.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
that was because of all of the pelvic infections Jack brought home.

Good point, she was dirty butt.