Another what would you do scenario

darling1 · #1 12-01-2000, 07:01 PM

I am curious to know ladies what would you do if you had a close friend with a mental illness? I am also curious to know if any members specifically have tackled this issue in their respective communities, campuses etc. Thanks

NUPE4LIFE · #2 12-01-2000, 07:54 PM

First of all we must realize that mental illness is the same as cancer, aids, heart disease etc. I think too many times, we in the black community treat mental illness as a joke. If someone is delusional, we say their crazy. Or if they are depressed, we say oh it's just the blues so pray about it. While prayer is highly affective, why won't we go seek medical help just like we do any other disease? My advice to you is not to treat her any differently. Also find out what illness she has been diagnosed with and read up on it. That way you'll know what she's experiencing and what sort of behavior she will exhibit so that you can be prepared. Frankly, she might snap at you and you must come to realize that she is going through something and it's the disease not her. Also, if you're really close to her you might consider yourself going to some sort of self help group for caretakers of people with mental illness. Their is also a book titled "Willow Weep for Me" by Mari Nana Ana Danqua. It's about the author's (An African women's) bout with clinical depression. It might give you more insight into mental illness. I hope I was of some help.

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[This message has been edited by NUPE4LIFE (edited December 01, 2000).]

Poplife · #3 12-01-2000, 08:24 PM

Nupe4Life really hit it when he said to find out what illness they have to read up on it and know what to suspect. That's what my close friends did when I was diagnosed with manic depression this semester.

I don't mind sharing this because it isn't something that I am ashamed of. Would you be embarrassed to tell people you have cancer or diabetes? No. Therefore I talk openly about my illness so I can help educate people. I get a lot of stupid questions and comments but many people ask valid questions and I am glad I could be of help to them.

I am lucky to have friends like I do. When I first got out of the hospital they came into my bedroom and checked on me every hour or so for 24 hours straight.

I'm not saying that you have to become a nurse to your friend. But I will say that sometimes it is not easy having a friend with a mental illness. You have to worry about them a little bit more than other friends. Luckily my friends are REALLY good friends so this wasn't an issue with them. Hopefully you will find strength to be a good support system for him/her when they need it. Just continue to love them. That's what's getting me through.

Peace

exquizit · #4 12-01-2000, 08:36 PM

(It seems we were posting at the same time you guys!)

Actually I have a few close friends with mental illnesses. I don't feel any differently about them, it's just that I have to be a bit stronger for those friends when they need me. Sometimes that's hard for me because I have such a full plate, but I love them all the same! Mental illness is another type of thing that requires you to do research on the specific illness to better understand and maybe even help.

[This message has been edited by exquizit (edited December 01, 2000).]

prettygyrl · #5 12-02-2000, 02:22 AM

You would be surprised how many people have mental illnesses and do not even realize it. Take depression or manic depression there are so many unhappy, undiagonsed people around its ridiculous. So if you do have a friend with an mental illness and she realizes it and is receiving treatment, thats great. All you can do is continue to be her friend and not treat her different.

AKA2D '91 · #6 12-02-2000, 11:05 AM

Question:

What do you do if you SUSPECT a person has a mental illness, but that person is in denial and does not or WILL not seek help? What do you do then?

Poplife · #7 12-02-2000, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
What do you do if you SUSPECT a person has a mental illness, but that person is in denial and does not or WILL not seek help? What do you do then?

Get after them in a caring way. That's what was done to me. I didn't want to be labeled as "crazy" or something of the sort so I just acted like nothing was wrong. My people were not having that. They wanted me to get help and told me so repeatedly. It got on my nerves but it might have saved my life.

kisses · #8 12-02-2000, 03:13 PM

Trying to help people who are in denial is always a difficult thing but you have to conyinue to love them and show them that you are there for them. I have a history of clinical depression in my family and an uncle with schizophrenia. It is a difficult road to plow but what they need the most is a strong support system that will stand behind them regardless. Suicide rates amongst African Americans are soaring at an alarming rate because we don't see the legitimacy in mental illness. As a community we must get the word out that it is a medical condition no different that cancer or the hypertension too many of us have.