unhappy

strawberrysismd · #1 09-30-2003, 07:37 PM

just wondering if anyone has ever been unhappy with their glo for any reason? what would cause you be upset? and if something did trouble you, how did you fix it?

MereMere21 · #2 09-30-2003, 08:00 PM

I've never been unhappy with AGD, but I was VERY unhappy with my former advisor ~ she told me I had to go alum when I found out I was pregnant.......without looking into I took alum status only to find out later I could have stayed active until the end of the semester

I talked it out with my sisters and got over it eventually even though it still bugs me a little bit today.

#3 09-30-2003, 08:22 PM

I have never felt unhappy with Alpha Gamma Delta. I may have had issues with a few chapter sisters, but I tried my best not to let it get the best of me.

My final semester in AGD was a tough one and it seemed like no one got along. My chapter advisor took matters into her own hands and the "SNOWBALL FIGHT" took place. Everyone had a chance to get things off their their chest, and it was finally a time to be honest and up front with everyone.

I'm really glad I left my chapter on better terms.

AchtungBaby80 · #4 09-30-2003, 09:41 PM

I was unhappy once, mostly because I felt like my chapter was going in a direction I didn't like. It was mainly because of a few people, though, who liked to stir up trouble every chance they got...thankfully these individuals left before long, and things got a whole lot better.

astroAPhi · #5 10-01-2003, 12:15 AM

I was extremely unhappy with my chapter last year at this time. We had a few members of our Executive Board have extremely negative attitudes, and when negative people run meetings, the overall atmosphere becomes very negative. It turned out that we had a chapter forum and I talked about all the stuff I was upset about, and I realized that most of the girls sided with me and not the few negative members. Luckily, those girls actually graduated at the end of that semester, and things have been wonderful since.

If anyone is unhappy, the best advice I can give you is to go talk to a sister that you trust. You'd be surprised how when your heart is truly in the right place, how many people actually agree with you and don't realize that anyone feels the same way. If I hadn't had the support of my sisters, it might have gone as far as me resigning, but I'm glad it didn't have to even get that far. I loved (and still do love) Alpha Phi so much that it would have broken my heart to have given up my pin, especially for a few girls with the wrong attitude. But I understand that one or two people can make for a very painful experience in any group.

Buttonz · #6 10-01-2003, 12:18 AM

Two words: Candle pass! I pledged Spring 03 and trust me, a candle pass works!

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #7 10-03-2003, 01:08 AM

candle pass (kan*DUL pass), v.

(1) To pass a lighted candle within a circle of sorority sisters, with the intent that the most recently lavilered, engaged, or pinned woman would blow out the candle. see: squealing like five year olds.

(2) To pass a lighted candle within a circle of sorority sisters, with the intent that each sister is able to voice her full and honest opinion or story without interruption from others. see: pledging activity.

MysticCat · #8 10-03-2003, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
candle pass (kan*DUL pass), v.

(2) To pass a lighted candle within a circle of sorority sisters, with the intent that each sister is able to voice her full and honest opinion or story without interruption from others.

We do that with the president's gavel. You are right -- passing the gavel (or candle if you prefer) can help clear a lot of air.

MoxieGrrl · #9 10-03-2003, 09:49 AM

I was upset with National Kappa Delta when they closed our house. Now I understand and respect their reasonings. At the time, emotions were running high and I wasn't thinking, just feeling. Other than that, I've been pleased as punch.

I once got very upset with a chapter sister who anonymously posted on our "Roses & Thorns" board that study hours were stupid. I was Scholarship Chair and very proud of my program. It felt like she was not only disrespecting me, but all of our chapter and the wishes of Kappa Delta. The study hours were there not to hurt, but to help all of us. I got it off my chest when we passed the President's gavel (Yeah! Someone else does that too!

) and things worked out for the best.

AEPhiSierra · #10 10-03-2003, 10:04 AM

It sounds like what you guys call candle pass or gavel pass at my school we call it a good and welfare. I thought it was a universal term b/c most of the GLO's on my campus use it. We just sit in a circle and go through all the good and bad shit that we want to vent. They take forever though and I can't imagine how long they take in a large chapter.

NutBrnHair · #11 10-03-2003, 10:07 AM

I have never been especially fond of the "Pass the Gavel" format, simply because some of your Sisters might not have a problem when they enter the room, but quickly feel that they need to have a problem! LOL

Have you ever heard of the exercise "Stop, Start, Stay?" Each member writes down something she'd like to see the chapter stop doing, something to start doing and then, something they are currently doing that she likes. See how it works -- it's 2 positives and only one negative.

kristi_ann81 · #12 10-03-2003, 10:22 AM

I liked what we did instead of passing the gavel....

We did the "Babble Box" and at the beginning of the meeting when we were just running through roll and that sort of stuff you could write down anything good or bad you wanted to say to the chapter and could sign it or leave it anonymous, then towards the end of the meeting they would pass around the box and you put your comments in and then someone from Exec that was sitting up front would read everything in the box. I thought it worked great!

Kristin AGD · #13 10-03-2003, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by NutBrnHair

Have you ever heard of the exercise "Stop, Start, Stay?" Each member writes down something she'd like to see the chapter stop doing, something to start doing and then, something they are currently doing that she likes. See how it works -- it's 2 positives and only one negative.

This is very effective. And used by major corporations. We even do this within our functional area at work. And let's face it, our chapters are just smaller organizations. The challenges we face in our chapters are very similiar to what we face in the real world, just on a different level. Getting along with others, teamwork, differences in opinion, etc.

Peaches-n-Cream · #14 10-04-2003, 04:04 PM

Talk to your chapter president to see if there is something that she can do or tips that she can give you to help you.

ADPi-Jen · #15 10-04-2003, 04:42 PM

I personally haven't been unhappy with ADPi, itself. I have always loved and respected the org as a whole.

However, there have been issues with specific people in and associated with my chapter (advisors). To this day I still feel my blood boiling when I think about certian incidents with the chapter.

I wanted to quit more than once, and now as an alumnae I am very glad that I didn't.

It took a while to realize that there are some people that I would just never agree with and probably never get along with, and thats OK. Just because I didn't get along with someone didn't mean I had to be miserable around them. With the help of a few really great sisters, I was able to end my collegiate years on a happy note. Now, I really miss my chapter, even with all of the rough times.

I hope that things get better for you. Just remember its going to be what you make it. If you let people get you down then you won't have any fun, if you own your time with your chapter and do good things with your time...you'll be much happier while you are there.

Hang in there.