Scruples #8 - Baby Mama Drama

[PinkCashmere]

For you Eclipse!

Situation: A young lady was seeing 2 men. She was in love with man #1 but he was a player. Because she felt neglected she began seeing man #2. Man #2 was a true gentleman and really made her feel special. Unfortunately, she wasn't in love with him. After a while the young lady found out that she was pregnant. She told Man #2 that the baby was his because she knew that he would take on the responsibility of being a father. Man #1 left the scene. After the baby was born she realized that the father of the baby was actually Man #1. She told Man #1, but never told Man #2 that he wasn't the baby's father. For 3 years he has been a wonderful father to the child.

Man #1 has now come back into the picture. He has changed his doggish ways and realized that the young lady was the best thing that ever happened to him. He came back into her life and wants to marry her. She wants to marry him too, but Man #1 wants her to tell Man #2 who the true father of the child is. The young lady doesn't know what to do because she doesn't want to hurt Man #2 and confuse her child.

Question: How should this situation be handled?

[Monique]

It sounds like the lady is a very stupid woman. It breaks my heart that some women don't know a good thing when they see it.

[darling1]

Ladies, be forwarned y'all may not like what I am about to say....

First of all, her problems began with dude #1. If he was being a dog and she really loved him I would think she would try and talk it out. If it didn't work, then move on. I am inferring from the post that the woman started dealing with dude #2 while still involved or holding out for dude#1; this brings me to my second point...when she realized that she was being mistreated by dude #1 she should have left him and started thinking about whow and why she attracts men like this because I know this probably not the first time this issue has come about for her...sorry folks. She was lying to herself and denying herself the love that she truly deserves.

The fact that she isn't in love with a man that she doesn't love means that she has some self-esteem, self hate issues going on. The fact that she is pregnant has made things worse unfortunately because now there is an innocent third party involved. Instead of lying and telling dude #2 was the father to suit her selfish needs was totally wrong. She has to take responsibility for her actions and tell this man that the child isn't his. Yes it will be devastating to him but he will get over it in time. IT IS NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF DUDE #1 TO CLEAN UP HER MESS!!!! If dude #1 is legit now then she needs to make a choice whether she wants to be with him and create a family.

I am a firm believer in honesty because lies have a funny way of coming back and biting you in the backside !!!!

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by darling1:
Ladies, be forwarned y'all may not like what I am about to say....

First of all, her problems began with dude #1. If he was being a dog and she really loved him I would think she would try and talk it out. If it didn't work, then move on. I am inferring from the post that the woman started dealing with dude #2 while still involved or holding out for dude#1; this brings me to my second point...when she realized that she was being mistreated by dude #1 she should have left him and started thinking about whow and why she attracts men like this because I know this probably not the first time this issue has come about for her...sorry folks. She was lying to herself and denying herself the love that she truly deserves.

The fact that she isn't in love with a man that she doesn't love means that she has some self-esteem, self hate issues going on. The fact that she is pregnant has made things worse unfortunately because now there is an innocent third party involved. Instead of lying and telling dude #2 was the father to suit her selfish needs was totally wrong. She has to take responsibility for her actions and tell this man that the child isn't his. Yes it will be devastating to him but he will get over it in time. IT IS NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF DUDE #1 TO CLEAN UP HER MESS!!!! If dude #1 is legit now then she needs to make a choice whether she wants to be with him and create a family.

I am a firm believer in honesty because lies have a funny way of coming back and biting you in the backside !!!!

I agree with you, Darling; but I think she should have told both the minute she knew. If she was a REAL LADY, she would've.