Wedding Dress Question

jess_pom · #1 08-24-2003, 02:17 PM

Ok, here's the deal. My younger sister is getting married in May, and the other day, she and my mom and her maid of honor went dress shopping. Well, they wouldn't let me go along and I was super hurt and upset (and make it very clear,haha). Anyway, my question is: how would you feel in this situation? I always thought this was something sisters did together. Am I wrong?

JennRN · #2 08-24-2003, 02:44 PM

Why wouldn't they let you come?? What the hell is that?

That makes me mad-when I tried my dress on, I invited my mom, my grandmother, my maids of honor, my fiance's mother-the whole world! I wanted everyone to share in my happiness and excitement!

I would be very hurt and would definately say something!!

Hootie · #3 08-24-2003, 02:52 PM

Yeah that's wrong! It should be about family first and then the bridesmaids/maid of honors.
I would question why you weren't allowed to go...I mean, this is afterall your SISTER'S WEDDING, and you should be included in the plans.

I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you! I would confront who ever said you couldn't go though

Jadey28 · #4 08-24-2003, 03:42 PM

That's so mean of your sister! Why aren't you the maid of honor if you are her sister? Or is that an entire different battle? I'd be upset...it's definately a family (well, atleast the girls) thing to pick out the dress. Did you try to sit down with your sister to find out why they didn't want you to go? I'm sure she'll have some explanation, but that was still rude of her!

valkyrie · #5 08-24-2003, 03:47 PM

I'll go agaist the grain here and say that I don't think there's anything wrong with what she did. I think it sucks that you're feeling left out, but it's really your sister's decision. Do you know why she didn't want you there -- if she "didn't let you" go with, I'd guess that there is a reason behind it. Also, some women don't want to make a big production out of picking a wedding dress.

It might be a good idea to try to have a constructive conversation with her about how you two get along and what role, if any, you'll have in her wedding.

navane · #6 08-24-2003, 03:52 PM

Ok, I feel like James here, but we don't know the full story.

I DO NOT KNOW JESS-POM SO I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS THE CASE *BUT* could it possibly be that the bride had a perfectly valid reason for not wanting her along? Not everyone gets along with their sister you know. For example, what *if* jess-pom likes to say rude things or doesn't like the groom and "makes it very clear ha ha." We just don't know.

That said, if everything is hunky dory and there's no reason why jess-pom going along should be objectionable, then I don't see why her sister wouldn't let her go. Then again, some bridal shops are weird and they only allow so many people in at one time (to prevent the bride, her mother, mother-in-law, 5 sisters and 6 bridesmaids from clogging up the shop floor). Who knows?

It's only my opinion of course, but perhaps jess-pom, you might like to sit down with your sister and politely tell her how you feel. Tell her how much you are looking forward to being a part of this special time for her. Tell her you were very hurt when you were told you couldn't go along dress shopping. Ask her to explain why you "weren't allowed" to go too. Ask if there's is perhaps another way you can help out.

Good luck; I hope it works out for you!

.....Kelly

bethany1982 · #7 08-24-2003, 03:52 PM

It was wrong. It was rude. It was.... What type of relationship have you had up to this point with your sister? Was this out of character for her? Let her know how you feel, then forgive her and get on with life.

navane · #8 08-24-2003, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I'll go agaist the grain here and say that I don't think there's anything wrong with what she did. I think it sucks that you're feeling left out, but it's really your sister's decision. Do you know why she didn't want you there -- if she "didn't let you" go with, I'd guess that there is a reason behind it. Also, some women don't want to make a big production out of picking a wedding dress.

It might be a good idea to try to have a constructive conversation with her about how you two get along and what role, if any, you'll have in her wedding.

Ah! You and I posted at the same time with the same kind of response!

.....Kelly

navane · #9 08-24-2003, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jadey28
That's so mean of your sister! Why aren't you the maid of honor if you are her sister?

Woah! I have to stop right on that one. I have to respectfully disagree with you on this. I have a sister that I love dearly and get along with exceptionally well. Guess what? She won't be my Maid of Honor - that special role will go to my best friend.

Of course I will invite my sister to play a big role in my wedding; I'm going to have her as one of my bridesmaids (and yes, I'd be happy to have her come along dress shopping if she wants). However, I don't think that being my sister automatically qualifies her for being my Maid of Honor. Honestly, I don't think she'll pick me to be her Maid of Honor either! I'm 99% certain she'll choose her best friend for that role and have me as one of the other bridesmaids.

I guess it's just a difference of opinion.

.....Kelly

valkyrie · #10 08-24-2003, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by navane
Ah! You and I posted at the same time with the same kind of response!

.....Kelly

Great minds think alike, lol!

Jill1228 · #11 08-24-2003, 04:11 PM

It would depend on how close you and your sister are. I mean my sister was NOT my maid of honor...hell she was not even in my wedding.

She was not able to go because of work...even if she was able to go she would NOT have been in the wedding party

MeLikey · #12 08-24-2003, 06:30 PM

I'd feel hurt if it was me and my sister, but we're not talking about me. It all depends on the type of relationship you have with your sister. Maybe she's the type of person who doesn't want everyone to fuss over her, and the more people there, the more fussing. However, I could totally be off base on that because I don't know the type of person she is. You definitely should talk to her about it since it obviously bothers you. And did she give any sort of reason why she wouldn't let you come, or did she just say no, and that was that?

Jadey28 · #13 08-24-2003, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by navane
Woah! I have to stop right on that one. I have to respectfully disagree with you on this. I have a sister that I love dearly and get along with exceptionally well. Guess what? She won't be my Maid of Honor - that special role will go to my best friend.

Of course I will invite my sister to play a big role in my wedding; I'm going to have her as one of my bridesmaids (and yes, I'd be happy to have her come along dress shopping if she wants). However, I don't think that being my sister automatically qualifies her for being my Maid of Honor. Honestly, I don't think she'll pick me to be her Maid of Honor either! I'm 99% certain she'll choose her best friend for that role and have me as one of the other bridesmaids.

I guess it's just a difference of opinion.

.....Kelly

Okay, I guess I understand what you're saying. Every wedding I've been to the sister (if there is one) has been the Maid of Honor. I don't have a blood sister, and I always wished I did for that special reason. But I fully understand what you mean by saying you'll pick your best friend over your sister for the MOH. I wasn't trying to piss anyone off. Sorry if I did.

Jadey

Peaches-n-Cream · #14 08-24-2003, 07:11 PM

I am leaning towards navane and valkyrie on this subject.

Rudey · #15 08-24-2003, 07:17 PM

All I know is wear something you can get out of easily. Because when you're drunk and one of the groom's buddies wants a little boom-boom, you'll be ready in no time for a little fun under the table.

-Rudey