Image...why we (AKA's) tend to be so disrespectful?

[Sophisticated Lady]

Hello Sorors & SF's...

This is my first time posting to the board. There is a situation that is bothering me deeply among us. When I say "us" I am referring to my pham. Why is it that a lot of individuals come off so negatively towards other people and seem to have no respect towards other's views? I have met some women that have been so rude to individuals because they expressed an interest in the organization that it left a foul taste with me. Does anyone feel that the way we act and respond to individuals could be tarnishing the image of our beloved sorority? If we can't say anything on a positive note to an "interest" why should anything be said at all? Someone sent me an e-mail to ask how to handle a situation and the e-mail wasn't disresptful to me or my organization in anyway. The same e-mail was sent to someone else and they went off about her screen name. Now I have seen people with screen names that clearly implied they were members of AKA and in those instances I can see why someone would be bothered, but this name was not. It was assumed and therefore she was disrespected by one of my sorors because of it. I would just like to know what other's views are on how our image may have such a negative impact. Does it not matter how we as a sorority make other's feel because it's all about us?

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This is a serious matter.

[AKAtude]

We have in the past told young ladies interested in AKA that we did not feel their screen names were suitable and asked that they consider using something else. In my opinion, anyone using "08" or "AKA" in their user name, to me, is a bit disrespectful.

If you happen to know the young lady who sent me an e-mail yesterday with "08" in her name, I did tell her that as an interested young lady, I would not use "08" as part of my e-mail address. I see nothing wrong with telling her so. I would hardly call myself "going off" on her. If you or she was offended, I'm sorry but that is the way I feel.

[This message has been edited by AKAtude (edited August 29, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by AKAtude (edited August 29, 2000).]

[Sexy Mocha]

I can only speak for myself, but since I've started my quest for your sorority, I have been shown nothing but kindness and a display of warm hospitality. I can honestly say, that even in these forums, I have never been made to feel that any of my opinions/ideas/questions were stupid or annoying. If I have stepped out of line, over-stepped my boundaries, or asked a question that has repeatedly been answered... then Yes, I have been "checked" (and deservedly so!), but never in a rude or disrespectful manner. That goes for the members of your org. that I have met in person as well.
Focusing more on this particular forum however, I know if I felt constant negative vibes in here or bothered by the nastiness/rudeness of members of this sorority...I , personally, would feel like this is just something I don't want to be a part of and I would refrain from posting in this forum. I mean, I know this site contains an array of wonderful and insightful information that's especially helpful for those of us seeking membership, but there are other websites (including the official Alpha Kappa Alpha site)...
My point is this, this particular forum is not the end all, be all place for getting info about this sorority, if I felt that the members were rude, nasty, or whatever the case may be...then why would I still be posting here?
Once again, I'm speaking for MOCHA only. I, like a lot of us that are interested, initially started posting here because I had questions/concerns about the sorority....(WHICH HAVE SINCE BEEN ANSWERED)...I am still posting in here religiously because I love the sisterly love that I'm feeling in this forum! I am comfortable here and feel like everyone (members of your sorority and my sisterfriends) have been nothing less than fun, creative, insightful, and plain old cool people. That's what keeps bringing me in here everyday!
Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that some ladies don't have a legitimate concern...maybe they have come across someone who HAS treated them like idiots or who HAS been disrespected...but come on ...that has GOT to be the exception, and by no means the norm.... I just don't see it, which is why I had to represent the other side...to let it be known that there ARE some interests out here that see a totally different side. You can't please all of the people all of the time
....and we can't keep judging the sorority as a whole based on the actions of a few.
And that's my two cents.

[This message has been edited by Sexy Mocha (edited August 29, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Sexy Mocha (edited August 29, 2000).]

[Sophisticated Lady]

Thanks soror for your reply. I do have to say that I don't think that we are speaking of the same individual. I'm not sure about anyone sending you an e-mail. I am glad to see that the soror's in this forum are positive and representing AKA to the fullest because I have ran into many sorors who were just the opposite. That's was made me pose the question. I am glad that Sexy Mocha also posted her response on how she has experienced nothing but love since she has been in the forum. That's what I'm talking about. Thanks akatude for your reply.
Skee-weeee sorors! I feel the love in this room.

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This is a serious matter.

[kitten03]

Unfortunately, I know exactly who you are speaking of Sophisticated. Without mentioning exactly what the screen name was, it was very disrespectful. If not to your sorority but to herself. She was not disrespectful in her speech but in her presentation of herself. Like the old adage, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression" Ok, now maybe the way she was told that her screenname was inappropriate was a little harsh. Maybe kinder words could have been used. But she should have been told that the way she presents herself has a great bearing on how she is perceived. As an interest, I try to moderate my words carefully because they may come back to bite me. In this case, her screen name came back....with a vengence.

[AKA2D '91]

Well said, Kitten03...

I totally agree! 1908%%%%%%%%

[Diva_56]

It is said in Proverbs 10:14

"Wise men store up knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool invites ruin."

10:17
"He who heeds disipline shows the
way to life,
but whoever ignores correction
leads others astray"


Why would I get mad if someone corrects me in a proper respectful manner, especially in things and matters in which I know little about? When I was first introduced to greek life form the outside looking in, you hear terms and other things that of course you are curious about. A greek let me know rather quickly that I was not her "soror" and taught me how and when at the proper time to use this term. You must also know that also that there are many young ladies who have never been exposed to greek life and may do something that may be considered disrespectful to your org... you must use your discretion with individuals such as these, for

Proverbs 9:9 states:
"Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning."

I can say that I have never been treated badly by any member of this board or any member of AKA. They have been nothing but super nice to me! One of the many reasons I am seeking membership.


Have a blessed day ladies!




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In complete darkness we are all the same... It is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us... Don't let your eyes deceive you

Janet Jackson

[This message has been edited by Diva_56 (edited August 31, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Diva_56 (edited August 31, 2000).]